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Deconstructing the Disney Pixar Cars Universe

Because it’s good to overthink these things and suck all the fun out of them

By Jamie JacksonPublished 4 years ago 5 min read
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Deconstructing the Disney Pixar Cars Universe
Photo by Leila Bandringa on Unsplash

I watched Disney Pixar’s Cars for the zillionth time the other day. To be fair, it might have been Cars II or Cars III; they all blur into one in my house as the DVD’s are interchangeably switched by my 3 year old son as and when he fancies.

Suffice to say, I know all of these films inside out. It’s standard stuff, the hero’s journey and all that, with the Disney good feeling iced on top.

But beneath the smiles, lessons learned and the personal triumphs of the Cars characters, there lurks a dark unease.

The trilogy raises many questions, for example:

Where are all the humans?

Where are all the animals?

Why are there pavements and buses and buildings but no humans to use them?

Why do the cars have biological eyes and mouths – and they die – but are also made from replaceable metal parts and regularly swap and renew their detachable tyres that also act as their “hands” and “feet”?

And surely, SURELY no race of living automobiles could build anything as sophisticated as town squares, stadiums, hotels, motorways and whatever else we see without OPPOSABLE THUMBS.

In my defence, I’m not the only one who’s thought too much about this kind of thing. A lot has already been written about the Cars’ universe.

This article states that it is clear World War II happened at some point - with cars. And therefore we must assume there was a Hitler car. And also Catholicism exists, with a catholic Popemobile and therefore a Jesus Christ car must have also existed.

These metal monstrosities are essentially reliving human history, but as cars. How did this bizarre scenario come about?

Evolution Not Revolution

Essentially, the prevailing theory on the internet is that there must have been a cars uprising that wiped out all humans.

THOSE METAL BASTARDS.

However, I disagree. If an uprising took place, that still doesn't explain why the cars are organic (tongues and eyes etc). An uprising also doesn’t help establish why any other forms of life in the Cars universe are the same biotechnology as the cars themselves (tiny car bees for example).

Therefore, I dismiss this theory of revolution and instead suggest that these cars evolved.

The only way this could have happened is if humans first put some sort of biotechnology in smart cars. Then, at some point much later on, all organic matter on earth got wiped out through some form of disaster, but the biotech cars survived.

I'm not the first to come to the atmospheric-catastrophe theory (yes I've done my research, goddammit), but that theory claims the humans saved themselves by living in their cars; that the humans are the cars.

My theory is a bit more Darwinian.

Life Finds a Way

I believe no humans survived the atmospheric catastrophe. Or animals for that matter. I hypothesise that the only thing which survived was this biotech car race, simply because they aren’t fully organic, and for one reason or another it meant they were able to hang on in there.

Then, over millions of years, these AI biotech cars began to proliferate. As Jeff Goldblum (a proper scientist type person) told us in Jurassic Park "Life finds a way."

"So why are all the cars different models and makes?" you ask.

A great question and one I have pontificated over for the longest time (about a week).

I'd suspect that “under the hood” these cars are all the same, something like slugs with massive eyes perhaps, but they fashion themselves as different types of cars because their culture is influenced by what the humans left behind. What now, has become legend.

My theory is that the cars adopted bits and pieces of human culture left behind, like in that weird kid-community in Mad Max III where they all worship the crashed plane.

This theory explains why they still have pavements and buses and other human-tailored elements in their society that they don’t use. It’s a cultural hangover.

It’s a bit like the pyramids. We left a load of crap behind when we were wiped out (though note, probably not through nuclear war as it was all still there, including old car models) and another civilisation has built around it.

The biotech smart car theory also explains why parts of the cars are replaceable, such as the bodywork or tyres but their eyes/windscreens and their sluglike insides aren’t.

The insect bees are obviously some weird evolutionary offshoot that I assume are 100% biological but look like cars because the DNA of the biotech smart cars is, er, part-car. I mean, no one is changing tyres on those little bee f*ckers. As Jeff Goldblum says “life finds a way.” Did I already mention that? Any questions, I refer you back to the Goldblum theorem.

We could delve even deeper in this biotech idea, as there is probably an entire caste/class system based around birthrights and money that dictates what car each biotech slug becomes. I'd also suspect there is probably a fair amount of racism towards certain car types, as you’d expect.

I'd also suggest that the existence of world wars, Hitler, Jesus and the pope are just symptom of history is repeating itself, because that is what it is doomed to do.

Everyone knows that.

I hope this has helped answer some of the nagging questions you've had about Cars. It has for me. So next time your child asks why there are no animals, or why the cars have tongues, simply point them in the direction of this article and buy yourself a sweet 10 minutes of peace.

You're welcome.

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About the Creator

Jamie Jackson

Between two skies and towards the night.

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