Twenty-Four Hours in Lucca

Would you like to see the best-preserved and most integrated fortification system in the world?

Great! It happens to be the city where I grew up, known to the locals as "The city of 100 churches".

Sounds like history-rich fun?

Then grab an empty water bottle and your comfiest walking shoes, cause we are going to Lucca!

This little jewel of a city, squeezing almost 9000 people into less than half a square mile, hosts several internationally acclaimed events. Most famous of all is the "Lucca Comics and Games" — a four-day all-things-nerd convention that sees an average attendance 3 times that of the San Diego Comic-Con.

Cool, right?

But I don't like crowds, so we are going when nothing's happening.

It's April, the air is crisp with blooming flowers, and the occasional light rain keeps the scorching Italian sun at bay.

Let's meet on a Thursday, cause most local restaurants and stores are closed on Mondays and Tuesdays.

Which reminds me!

There is this thing they say in Tuscany about the people of Lucca.

They are born with tiny T-rex-like arms, so short that they can't reach their pockets and get their wallets out.

To honor the spirit of the city, I'm taking you on a free tour. But don't worry, even without paying, there is still plenty to see!

Our 24 hours start with your arrival at the airport in Pisa, late in the evening.

Do not stay there.

Pisa merda, we hate Pisa.

No, you're staying at my folks' place.

It's about a half-hour bus ride from Lucca, but the house used to be a monastery somewhere in the 14th century, so it's an experience on its own.

While Mom arranges a bed for you, how about we go sit in the terraced garden, with olive branches caressing our shoulders, and take in the starry sky?

You don't get to see this many stars in a big city.

Now, breathe in the smell of historical stones as your feet lead you into your bedroom for tonight. Let the distant sound of snoring cats lull you to sleep, and the humming of a coffee maker wake you up.

It's only 6 a.m., but you feel fully rested.

One needs less sleep in the mountains.

"Buongiorno!"

Let's have a classic Italian breakfast; I'll whip you up a cappuccino, and then we can dip cookies in it.

We love dipping our cookies in Italy! (It's also local slang for sex.)

Powered up by carbs and caffeine, let's get to the bus stop.

Ignore the locals staring, bewildered at you.

Despite living this close to Lucca, which records about a million international overnight stays every year, they're not used to foreigners in Castiglioncello.

Here's the bus: quick, spread an arm out, or it won't stop for us!

Shoots! I forgot to buy tickets.

"Excuse me, Mr. bus driver, can I have two tickets."

"I'm all out."

"Mannaggia! And now?"

"Just sit in the front. If the check comes up, I'll tell them off."

"Thank you so much!"

See? Free bus!

And while we're riding, let me tell you a little history.

While there is no consensus on the date of the first settlement, we know Lucca was inhabited by the Etruscans around 220 B. C. and became a Roman colony in 180 B.C.

That can be seen in the way streets are shaped, with two major roads (Cardine and Decumano) crossing perpendicularly, forming a square in the middle, where the General's encampment used to be.

Giulius Caesar signed the "First Triumvirate", a pact between three men to take over the Republic of Rome, in Lucca in 63 B.C.

There are four fortified walls from different eras, two of which are still fully intact. The outermost wall was so broad that it could withstand a cannon blow without breaking, and carriages could drive on it.

Or cars, I guess. But only the police are allowed to drive there now.

Why the 101 churches?

In medieval times, Lucca was a city of bankers.

That's how it managed to stay independent for so long. Where Pisa had a powerful fleet, and Florence a fierce military, Lucca had money.

But everyone was religious in medieval times, and the Bible is clear: usury is a sin. Italian people are very religious but also love loopholes.

And the rich people of Lucca found the right loophole: build a church before you die!

Voilà.

Churches and devil legends everywhere.

Oh, we're here.

Get down the bus and take in the view. Please notice that one stunning marble tower; it will be relevant later.

Let's abandon the threaded path and enter the walls through "Sortita San Paolino". A "sortita" was a special small door meant for the military to surprise the enemy during a siege.

Here we go.

The smell of earth and history hits your nostrils as the artificial lights cast deformed shadows on the brickwork. The arches still feel wet with the blood of thousands of soldiers, and the echoes of their tormented souls linger behind every corner...

...spooky, right?

Except these walls were never used in warfare. But a killer atmosphere for pictures!

Now that we're out, let's go have breakfast!

Yes, the second breakfast; it's a normal Italian thing.

I think Tolkien based the Hobbits on us. Ever checked out the feet of an Italian guy?

Urgh!

Follow me through this narrow street; I know where we can fill our water bottles.

We'll need it with all the walking in this heat.

Here we are at "Pasticceria Dianda".

My favorite teacher in high school was called Dianda.

They are not related, but it makes me like this place.

"Una treccia e un cappuccio, per favore."

I'm treating you to something typical: a soft and fragrant puff pastry with a sugar glaze and chocolate chips hidden between its layers, in the shape of a braid (treccia).

And a cappuccino too, obviously.

I recommend you use the toilet while we wait for our order; there are no free toilets in this city.

Done? Let's walk some more.

On your left is the statue of Giacomo Puccini. Lucca is crazy proud of being Puccini's birthplace.

Who was he? Some opera dude from the 1800s.

Forward! Don't mind the huge marble church of San Michele; we're coming back for it later. And due to the Roman nature of the city, we'll be seeing it from every angle.

Here is Palazzo Bernardini and its devil's stone: "Pietra del diavolo".

The devil himself convinced Mr. Bernardini to destroy a sacred votive image to make room for this fancy palace.

To let everyone know that the guy was rotten, in the spot the sacred image used to be, a stone curved on its own, and, to this day, nobody could ever straighten it out.

Less than two minutes from here, you can see the church of Santa Maria Bianca and the "Colonna Mozza" (Half-broken column), which is a remnant of the Roman Walls.

Those walls have been scavenged for building materials during medieval times, but the column was left because they thought it was funny to use it in horse-riding competitions.

In front of us is "Porta San Gervasio", a medieval gate.

As you can see, the walls are merged with houses, and there are people living there. They did not waste space in Medieval times.

Let's go fill our bottles at the fountain here.

Notice the several locals queueing up with lots of empty bottles? No?

Well, it's an Italian queue; you have to be Italian to see it. It's not properly a line... never mind.

Don't queue up! We only have two bottles; they'll let us skip the line.

"Grazie!"

Locals take their drinking water from the public fountains. Tap water is safe but not healthy due to its high mineral content.

Exactly like fountain water.

In fact, I think they are the same water.

But the fountain is free...

Done? Nice.

Let's walk just a little bit further and check out Porta Elisa. It's a pretty marble gate, but also a local meme. People come here to take pictures of their friends called "Elisa". See, "porta" means "door/gate", but it is also the imperative form of the verb "portare", "to bring".

Hence the meme.

Let's walk back through here, along the remnants of the medieval moat.

Now, do you remember the fancy marble tower from the beginning of our tour?

Well, turns out it only has a marble top.

Marble was very expensive back in the day. But since the lower part was covered by the walls, outsiders from, say, Pisa, could be fooled.

Despite not being the biggest nor the most central church, this is our Duomo, our main church.

Bizarre, huh?

Well, there is something even more bizarre about it: it contains the one true portrait of Jesus.

Yes, you heard right.

Saint Nicodemus sculpted this wooden portrait of Jesus, and then real angels made it so perfect that he feared men would tear each other apart to have it.

So he hid it in a cave in Jerusalem.

During the Crusades, an Italian bishop found it and put it on a ship without sails or crew, for God's will alone to steer.

The ship arrived in Luni, but wouldn't let the local folks touch it. But when the bishop of Lucca came, it surrendered to him. He then tied the portrait to a carriage of mules and let them run wild. Wherever they'd stop, that city would own it.

And they miraculously ran all the way to Lucca!

Of course, the people of Pisa found the whole deal suspicious and claimed that we should have given them the portrait because they had political influence over Luni.

Outrageous!

The two cities have hated each other ever since. Also due to historical, political, and financial reasons, but those are definitely secondary.

Let's walk through "Il Collezionista", the best store for all of your nerdy needs, and this lovely square full of cheap and rare second-hand books! It has a name; I swear, I just don't remember.

Look, this is "Piazza Napoleone," but the locals call it "Piazza Grande" because, well, it's big. It looks pretty empty now, but it's where they do cool stuff like the ice skating rink and the Christmas market.

Take a picture with the statue if you will, but we're not eating around here. Every restaurant facing a square costs double: tourist traps.

Back to San Michele, from a different angle.

No, we're going to "Itaco", which is a "Pizza al taglio", a pizzeria where they charge you by the slice.

Mom says it's the best one in the city.

It isn't.

But it has a good quality-to-price ratio, and it's on the way to where I'd like to sit, so the pizza will still be hot when we get there.

Here we go, you can have all different toppings, but do get a slice of "Cecina"; it's my favorite, made with chickpea flour. No, it's not a thing of Pisa; ours is different, it's crunchier and better.

Let's get up the wall.

Each bastion has a park, and my favorite, "Baluardo San Paolino", has this bit where there are enough trees to cast shade no matter the time of day.

Ah look! Silly tourists on their bikes.

You can walk this city side to side in 15 minutes, and bike it in 20! Pedestrians won't move for you. Never rent a bike here; it's a tourist trap.

Done eating?

Let's go to the northern part of the city!

Walking past "Porta Sant'Anna" and "Porta San Donato", we'll stop in "Chiesa di Sant'Agostino" for the "Botola dell'inferno" (a trapdoor to hell).

According to the legend, a soldier asked the baby Jesus image to let him win at gambling with dice. After losing, he cursed and threw a rock at the sacred painting.

Never disparage baby Jesus in front of his mom!

The painting animated, opening a hole under the guy's feet.

The soldier fried and cried for hours before the flames devoured him entirely, leaving nothing but the hole behind.

They say they tried lowering a dog on a rope in the 1700s to see how deep it was, only to pull it up burned and sunk in sulfur.

They closed the hole with a trapdoor and had a nunnery guard it so it would never be opened again...

...unless you ask nicely.

When I was 16, I told the nuns I was writing an article about Lucca, and they opened it for me. Oh look, I'm keeping my word less than 20 years later!

All this talking of flames and burning got you thirsty?

Let's refill our water bottle in "Piazza della Pupporona", (San Salvatore on the map). The fountain lady is showing a boob, and "Pupporona" is local dialect for a "Boobie-litious Lady".

It's afternoon, and the sun is only getting warmer... what time is it? It's gelato o'clock!

Let's go to "Veneta" and have a local specialty: "spaghetti". It's just vanilla ice cream, but it's delicious and shaped like spaghetti. It even comes with a strawberry "Pommarola" on top.

Take a quick peek at "Chiesa di San Frediano", yet another beautiful marble church, on the way to "Piazza dell'Anfiteatro", a Roman amphitheater.

It looks cooler from above.

Now we're close to "Torre Guinigi", one of the symbols of Lucca.

The folklore says that Mr. Guinigi had the trees planted on the tower to allow his sick wife to enjoy a little walk in nature without leaving home.

As a child, I found it very romantic.

Then I grew up.

Am I supposed to believe that a woman too sick to walk outside would climb 230 terrifyingly steep steps to sit in between a few trees atop a tower so tall that there is constant wind no matter the weather conditions?

No, Mr. Guinigi, you're not fooling me anymore!

Towers were used to assert dominance. And, like the phallic symbols they are, the longer the better. Mr. Guinigi, a proper Lucca man, realized he could make his tower taller without spending money on renovations. And used his poor wife as an excuse.

It does look pretty cool, though.

And we arrived, again, in San Michele, just from another angle.

But the sun is going down, and that can only mean one thing: aperitivo!

Let's stop here.

Not because the food is particularly good, but because it's the best place to observe San Michele's church.

There are three special things that only locals know.

If you stand exactly here, exactly at sunset, the light hits the archangel's weapons at the right angle and...

...it shines like a flaming star!

There are a few huge gemstones there. Although some believe they've been sold and replaced by the good people of Lucca, I don't think a fake would shine this much.

Come sit here while we order an "Aperol Spritz" and eat something (drink and food before dinner: that's what aperitivo means, if you didn't know).

Look at the church's base.

Can you see?

It's sinking.

Lucca is standing on top of an aquifer. The locals are draining it faster than it refills.

At this rate, we'll soon be known as "The Sinking City".

Or, if we stop, we'll have a leaning marble church. Much better than a stupid leaning tower!

Take another sip; now the sun is fully gone, and public lighting is on.

Look at the side of the church. Check out the shape the windows, windowsills, and moisture underneath them are forming.

Yup.

The whole church is covered in upside-down crosses.

People say that the devil has taken it over because the citizens have lost their way by turning too many churches into other things (like markets, forums, and conference halls).

But could we really keep 100 churches in function for fewer than 9000 people? Really?

Let's go have dinner now.

A little to the south, there is a place called "In Pasta", they make fresh pasta in front of you. You have to try fresh pasta here!

And after the meal, let's order a dessert, coffee, and "ammazzacaffé" (coffee killer). You cannot dine in a restaurant without these three.

You won't sleep if you have coffee now? But that's what the coffee killer's for!

I recommend Limoncello, but you can have an Amaro too.

After dinner, a good panoramic walk along the wall will take us to "Ottavo Nano," a pub with live music.

We might see the ghost of Lucida Mansi.

She sold her soul to the devil for youth and beauty, but she forgot to ask for immortality. When her time came and the devil arrived to collect her soul, she tried to flee on a carriage.

The devil drowned her in the small lake of "Giardino Botanico".

They say that when the sky is the right color, she rides her ghostly carriage around the walls, in the company of the devil. And if you walk alone at night, he might stop and offer you a deal too.

Here we are: local performers, beer, and good pub food!

Oh, you're not hungry? I'll only get you the fries then.

The evening leaves room to the night, and our 24 hours are up.

As a final courtesy, I'll walk you to a nice budget-friendly bed-and-breakfast with great food and a friendly host who speaks fluent English — not a given even in such a touristic city!

It's about an hour from here.

What? You'd rather spend money on a taxi than walk for an hour in the middle of the night?

Bah, tourists!