Not all roads

You'll notice that before you clicked on this image, it seemed crisp, vivid, and clear. From far away, this is the perfect image of McLean Falls, a famous spot in The Catlins that I've seen on almost everyone's New Zealand trip feeds. From far away, this shot is serene and lush. The greenery contrasts so sharply with the falls, like something you might only see on a computer desktop background. As a small thumbnail image in my phone gallery, I had captured the perfect picture of my trip.

Yet, when you arrived here on this page to read about how I captured this image, when the image is up close and expanded to fit the screen, it's really not that great. The picture is blurred and appears like it just isn't finished rendering or loading; something is missing. It's disappointing. It wasn't taken on an old phone, it wasn't taken in a hurry, and I didn't have spray from the waterfall on my lens. All I had were unmet expectations for that trip and this image is the perfect representation of the trip: perfect, serene, dream-like from far away and a whole lot different once I got there.

I've never been one to get excited before I travel, and in some weird way I've been made to feel guilty about it.

"You aren't excited? But you're going on a trip!"

I know how fortunate I am to have travelled as much as I have, and to have seen so much of the world at 26 years old. I have not once taken the opportunity to travel for granted and I am grateful for every single time I get to see a new place. Before our trip to New Zealand, I enjoyed every single trip I went on no matter what. I didn't get excited but I also didn't have some idea of what I needed the trip to be. Expectations can really ruin a good thing; my expectations of New Zealand, the "dream trip" of a lifetime, the biggest adventure we would probably ever take, made it far less of an enjoyable experience. I wanted everything on this trip to be perfect. I wanted the serene, still beauty without any of the blur. I wanted nothing but incredible memories, and I planned for an entire year. I worked my butt off to get those memories. And the trip turned out just like this picture.

I climbed up sharp rocks in my bare feet, nauseous and three months pregnant, got cold and soaking wet, to get the perfect instagram picture that didn't even turn out a good picture. I stood still and focused and clicked the camera but it still wasn't what I wanted because what I wanted could not be captured because what I wanted didn't exist. What I wanted couldn't be experienced through a camera. And this imperfect, blurry, let-down of a photo is one of the best lessons I've learned about travel. Every trip can be a "dream"; the dream is in front of you when you get there and experience it, not on your phone or in your plans. You can't plan or capture a dream. Every photo was captured because what you had in front of you was beautiful, and it might not always look that way in the photo you get to take away. What matters in both photos and trips is the memory.

You can know what to expect when you travel somewhere and not have expectations of that place. You can plan a trip without deciding what a trip has to be in order to be enjoyed. New Zealand is an excellent place to see with one of the largest variety of landscapes and attractions I have ever travelled to. It's expensive, and it's a lot larger than it looks, but if you have enough time and money, it is an amazing destination that is worth travelling to and exploring. Yet, because I expected it to be literally the best place on earth, the most perfect place I had ever seen, I was disappointed to learn it was just like anywhere else. I planned my dream and my dream wasn't there.

Except, anywhere else is still worth seeing. Any place is worth exploring. Any person is worth saying hello to. Any piece of cake is worth eating. Any photo is worth taking. If you have the right mindset, surround yourself with love and happiness, and appreciate what's in front of you no matter where you go, you have nothing to lose.

So, here is what ended up being the better photo of the falls. Here is what captures what really matters on a "dream trip" or any other trip:

The memory of my husband taking silly tourist photos in places that didn't make sense. The memory of him pulling me up those rocks in my bare feet, splashing me with the cold water, making me laugh so I could be distracted from my nausea. That's the picture of McLain falls I keep. No edits. No expectations.