Living the European Life

Me? I am from Connecticut, but my roots, they extend from Litchfeild county to Barcelona, Leuven, London, and beyond. I will let you in on my three year journey and some advice that might make your life easier, or make you laugh at me, but either way, enjoy!

Stage 2: Poland to Spain

I was raised by two Europeans. My mom grew up in London and my dad in Torun, Poland. As a first generation American, these European traditions and roots are a large part of who I am, and heavily weighed on my decision of where I wanted to go to college..erm..university. Originally, my goal was to study and live in England; not only is higher education cheaper than at home, but what 18-year-old girl from a small American town doesn't want an English accent? Therefore, after extensive research, and a very intense college tour trip through the UK, I applied to several programs in England, and one that took place in Spain and Belgium as well, just because I thought it was interesting. Lo and behold, when I was accepted into several programs, I accepted my place in the multi-university program that would allow me to travel while obtaining my education. The gravity of this decision was realized by my parents long before it was seen by myself. In fact, it is three years later, and I am still surprised by the consequences of my decision.

Once I graduated, my family and I relocated to my father's home in Poland for the summer before I started university in Barcelona. It was at this point I realized how small the world was. Though moving to a country so different than my home seems daunting, I was often comforted by the thought that within 24 hours I can be anywhere in the world, and that includes my childhood home. After months of occupying myself in this new world and being faced with the fact that, unlike my friends taking part in pre season and going to local spots near our school for movies and hang outs, I was suddenly regarded as an adult by onlookers. What a shock for someone who regularly forgets that they are not still 16.

The realization was soon coupled with the task of packing my things into a car and road tripping to Spain with my parents. After days filled with silly stories, we were greeted with the welcoming view of the vast city that is Barcelona. Everyone I have met who has been to this incredible city has confirmed my love for it, this love was instant, despite not yet having found a place to live, and the constant question of my Spanish skills when overhearing Catalan being spoken in the streets.

The next challenge after finding a place to live and accepting the fact the eavesdropping was a thing of the past was the rude awakening that I had not needed to make friends for seven years, while attending a very small all girls school where friends are, essentially, built into the experience. This, surprisingly, I believe was the most daunting thing. Many would assume it was leaving my parents for the first time. However, this anxiety started out small and in reverse. My first year independence was relished and reveled in; however, my home-sickness increased more and more as my studies progressed. I personally believe this is due to the growing realization of how difficult it is to find people you truly love and how very soon the world could very possibly swallow you whole, which naivete does a good job of masking at first with a dumb sense of security and weak self importance.

Throughout the year, I bounced between groups of people within my program, from the party group, to the book worms, to the odd balls. Cliques are something I never really dealt with before university, so this was unnatural for me; however, I seemed to settle among the group I deemed the most fun. My year included getting good grades, a promoting job, a tattoo, and an amazing tan. However, by the end, some lessons had become apparent.

So based on my first year in Europe, here is my advice:

• Even if you are abroad, travel as much as possible.
• Embrace change and learn to roll with the punches.
• Making friends is so hard, don't make it harder for yourself by staying in.
• Enjoy going out while it is still fun.
• Research cultural tendencies. You may find your friendly American charm fun, but when people don't understand your ways, you will quickly learn that behaviors and humor vary a lot based on where people are from.

Stage 2: Poland to Belgium

Yes, independence is great, but when it disappears, boy can you feel stifled. And I, like most people, had angst-y teen years, but my goodness, was I a piece of work my first summer home from university. I would like to take this opportunity to apologize to both my parents, but especially my father, who I tortured that summer. After being able to control your movement, decisions, time management, and everything else, suddenly being in a place where you do not know anyone is difficult and you have to find ways to cope. Me? I decided to throw myself in veganism, fitness, and website design. Despite hardly socializing, I was in peak physical health by the end of that summer, and I had a decent website to my name after working on it for three months. And to subsidize the socialization aspect of my life, youtube became a tool of knowledge and development; to this day I can tell you all about the vegan lifestyle and effective money management.

Needless to say, by the end of this summer, I was ready to socialize, which brings me to my move to Belgium. My mom and I flew to Belgium and she helped me move into my little student kot. (In Belgium, when a student rents a room for their time in university, it is called a kot). After helping me settle in and our usual shenanigans, my mom went back home and again, I found myself in a new environment, still unable to eavesdrop. Belgium was a completely different experience to Spain; everything from the people, to the language, the landscape, and lifestyle. In case you cannot already tell, I preferred Spain. That year, school was way harder, my priorities completely shifted, and so did the dynamics of the peers. However, this year really taught me the value of triumphing over difficult people and circumstances and enjoying my own company and achievement. It also showed me that fun, though great, it very much trumped by substance, though idealist, this shift in approach may leave you with less "friends" but it does challenge you to become a person above your own standards.

My lessons based on this year of struggle:

• Do not write off difficult times, they have a lot to teach you about your own abilities and the people around you.
• Enjoy your own company, it is really cool to get to know who you are without the influence of negative people.
• Put the people you really love in a pride of place, and let them know your value for them.
• Side hustles are amazing!
• It is okay if the friends you make are through other channels than your daily grind.

Stage 3: Belgium to England

This time, I spent the summer in Belgium working and went straight from Leuven to London on a very long bus ride under the English Channel. As I saw the scenery change from that of the train station to increasingly familiar scenes as I approached London, my heart raced. After two years in unfamiliar places, finally I would have the advantage of being somewhere that I have a long and wonderful history with. From the coach station I then took another bus to Coventry where I would spend the next eight months. I had been once before to visit the school, but it had been three years prior to that point and I was a bit disoriented.

When I arrived to the house I would be staying in, I decided never to book accommodation through Facebook ever again. Before paying my deposit for this room, I had been scammed out of 700 pounds from an online fraud account, so when the room I arrived to was not everything I had hoped for, I felt tears welling in my eyes; but as I learned from the mass of struggles in the months prior, I bucked up and decided to make it as comfortable as possible. This lead to a rather fulfilling few months in Coventry. I made my home as comfortable as I could and focused on my work. My social scene changed again, as I had decided my time was an investment into myself, and that in order for me to do well, I need to cut out people from my life that deter me from being my best self. I joined the soccer team, helped plan events for the school, and got good grades (with one exception) that year.

However, what I really enjoyed was spending time in a familiar culture. I am not sure whether that familiarity stems from my experiences in England, or simply because I COULD FINALLY EAVESDROP! Nonetheless, I found that familiarity soothing. Perhaps too soothing. By the end of the year I had gained as much in body fat as I had in knowledge, but it all paid off. I found an amazing job, was accepted into a great master program for next fall, and I moved to London, which I had dreamed of doing since I was seven and came here for the first time.

My lessons after the last year of my bachelor:

• You are worth the investment, so be it studying instead of complaining, or watching Netflix instead of going to a club, figure out what you need to do to be happy in the long run.
• Reduce stress, don't spend time with people who do not make you happy.
• Become friends with your parents, they are amazing and can always give good advice.
• Take it easy on the pasta. It's good, but not that good.