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Fremantle

A Perth Story

By Michael GuerriniPublished 4 years ago 4 min read
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From being the first sttled area in Western Australia to being the primary hub of Bars that flock 40-60 year olds that desperatlly want to feel young again to Cafe's and Restaurants that beleive they have a reasonable justification to charge an arm and leg due to "culture". Surrounded by the engulfing swan river filled with cruise ships docking the harbours every single day sending an influx of immigrants and tourists. Not saying that's a bad thing entirely, i understand the purpose and the economic turnover for Freo but the attitudes of immigrants can be quite obnoxious depending where they're from and is clear as day.

there's so many features and facts that makes Frementle stand outfrom the rest of Australia and the world. There's a lot of musical talent that has put Freo on the map, attracting musos on all sorts to flock to Freo to encapulate the spirit that makes its usic so popular and great. Bon Scott, the original singer of AC/DC was born, raised and buried here.

As well as Eskimo Joe...

And of course...Tame Impala

Due to their music being well known throughout the world, many hipsters come here to try to vibe obnoxiously as possible ordering coffee or a pint every hour while sitting in Freo park eating a DIY smashed avocado that costs $35 to make thinking how they're going to save for a trip to Canada or to a new festival/wine tasting tour year after year. they're everywhere. you can throw a scarf behind ya and you'll hit 10 of them as they swarm to scavenge it off and rip it apart from the rest of the hipsters nearby.

They kind of look like this...

With the cafes and restaurants covering the streets, you're never out of options such as seafood, pizza,burgers,pizza,kebabs when metropolis nightclub is closed,pizza, tacos and pizza...and seafood. There's a noticably strong coffee culture here, even before hipsters became a thing. Mediterranean immigrants would come for a coffee if their machines weren't working or if no one was home to make one for them. Speaking of Mediterraneans in Fremantle, i heard through a grape vine that Christiano Ronaldo's grandparents live in fremantle. Can't verify at the moment, just speculation currently.

This story cant be written faithfuly without mentioning the fremantle markets. Like any other markets of the type around the world, is sprawling of shoppers and the stalls are mostly asian food/medicine/anime shops and a few sweet stores that sell candy we australians can't normally get at our local shops. Always costs a bomb though. Not to mentions the kids running amock annoying the rest of the shoppers like myself due to the parents being too lazy and distracted to put them on a leash. It is what it is.

Now what about the night time? well, there's a plethora of bars and clubs open at the strip, mostly suited to 3 main demographics. If you consider youself as someone between 35-70 years old, having a mid-life crisis wanting to desperately feel young again like in the 60's-90's; then Newport Bar is the place to go to get pissed, spot some cougers and see some run of the mill tribute bands.

If you look like and talk like a hipster, then federal hotel and Percy Flint are the places to go to have a kombucha with the rest along with a barely working record player made in the 70's.

Lastely, if you're the type that cant live 2 seconds away from a beach because you've watched too many tv shows where the beach was the main setting when you were younger and want to vibe with the other surfer chicks way put of your league, then COAST port beach bar is the place for you. It's also a place for posh twats that want to defeat their financial and personal insecurities by convincing people (especially women) they're rich and classy as fuck when they're really not.

I almost forgot that thhere's a university surrounding the town called The University of Notre Dame. Sadly, not the one you're thinking of. Its reputable for the prerequisite of being catholic to even have the privelidge of getting a govenment support debt for a course that doesn't even lead into a noble profession to afford the debt later on. anyway, the campus is not too far from the main hub of freo and there are segregated buildings intended for specific allegated courses surrounding the whole city. Kind of like Oxford but not enough history to match its self entitled prestige.

In conclusion, seems like Freo is a heaven for hipsters, posh phonies, rock n roll enthusiats/historians, surfers/beach freaks and out of touch alt right catholic uni students with wealthy parents. If they've found their place in Freo, then its good vibes all round, both day and night. Just be careful of Metropolis night club on a friday night.

satire
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