Women Shouldn't Have to Dress Modestly to Be Respected

When I was younger, I really enjoyed showing off my body.

Short skirts and tiny tops were my go-to's.

And for that, I got called a 'slut' or 'whore' many times. But I loved the way I looked, so I tried my best not to care too much.

Now that I'm in my late twenties, my garderobe has slightly changed, but I still enjoy wearing a short skirt every now or then. Both versions of me are valid. But only one of them would be considered a 'respectful young lady' by an overwhelming majority of people.

That's because we are still largely married to the idea that women who show off their skin and body 'are asking for it.'

And they do not deserve as much respect as those who dress more modestly.

That's wrong on so many levels.

Modesty is rooted in years of female oppression.

Women and girls in many cultures worldwide are often told to cover up, sometimes from a very young age.

And it's not a new thing at all.

Throughout history, women have continually fallen subject to various rules that dictate what we can and can't put on our bodies. It has been going on for thousands and thousands of years.

And similarly to the evolution of beauty ideals throughout the centuries, modesty ideals also underwent significant changes over the years. For instance, historians claim that women only began to cover their breasts in public about 3500 years ago - when men decided they were private, sexual body parts.

Modesty culture is rooted in years of female oppression. And it is bound up with the role that men as men and women as women are expected to play in society. I know that it is somewhat controversial, primarily because, for many, modesty is intrinsically linked to religion.

Most major world religions promote modesty, purity, and holiness for both genders. But they tend to emphasize the importance of these aspects disproportionately more for women and young girls. And that's where my problem with it begins.

The troubling connection between modesty and rape culture

Don't get me wrong; there is nothing wrong with dressing modestly, either for religious or cultural reasons or because of a personal preference.

But the idea that a woman HAS TO dress modestly because otherwise, they will cause men to lust is absurd. And it surprises me that so many men use that argument. That very same logic debases them to being mindless animals with no control over their sexual desires.

If seeing bare ankles or shoulders leads you to engage in inappropriate behavior and sexually harass someones, I have some bad news for you: YOU are the problem. Not the revealing clothes or not even lack thereof.

Another problem with this type of logic is that it tells women that they are at fault for receiving unwarranted sexual advances. If it's all the woman's responsibility to keep the man 'in check' through what she wears, then if he crosses the line, doesn't that suggest she's at fault somehow?

This victim-blaming is part of rape culture, which normalizes sexual assault and finds ways to blame the said assault on victims. But men shouldn't use their poorly-defined idea of modesty as an excuse to blame women.

The bottom line is that we shouldn't judge women by their cover

Forcing women to wear or not wear specific pieces of clothing is fundamentally wrong. Unfortunately, there are still countries or regions where dressing modestly is imposed by law, like Iran and the Indonesian province of Aceh.

But there are also some countries, like France and Belgium, that went in the opposite direction. These countries passed laws banning some or all types of hijab in public or certain types of locales.

I find both equally restricting to women's freedom of choice. Modesty can be a choice, like many others. And there is nothing wrong with choosing it.

The bottom line is: if I want to flaunt my boobs or my ass, I should be able to do so without getting judgemental looks. And if someone prefers to stay modest, they should be able to do so as well.

Everyone should be able to wear whatever makes them feel most comfortable. Different things empower different women.

It isn't our place to tell women which one is right.

And it isn't our place to grant respect based on women's clothing either.

This story was originally published on Medium.