Women Against Women

by Bazal Morani 10 months ago in feminism

More available at www.womenempowhermentblogs.com by Bazal Morani

Women Against Women
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Now, initially, I wasn't going to make this its own topic, but something happened on the night of June 30, 2019 that changed my mind. Now to understand this story, you need to know something about me. You see, I had been engaged for two years and ended up having it broken off when I finally came clean to my dad and told him I wasn't happy, and he encouraged me to do what I felt I needed to.

To be honest, it was more my fiancé's decision then mine towards the end, as I simply tried to tell him my concerns and fears so we could try to fix it (yes, I was that person). Now, the call had ended with him saying he didn't care and that we could end things if I wanted. After two years of consistently having my feelings brushed off, being treated like I wasn't worth much, watching him flinch every time he even hugged me (which was rare on its own), having him discourage me from being the best version of myself and strive to grow, and so much more, I decided that this time, I wouldn't back down; this time, it was officially over. I was tired of sacrificing myself for someone who would never even consider sacrificing anything for me.

Of course, he immediately regretted it and tried to get me back. Now this resulted in me getting death threats, my friends and family being harassed, etc. (because that's the way back into a girl's heart, right?) So naturally, I was glad I got out when I did. Now, if this blog was about him, this site would be called "menarestupid.com" not "womenempowhermentblogs.com," so let's get to that part shall we? So I managed to get back on my feet and was working and expressing myself on a poetry site and my own radio show. (If you want to check out some of that magic check out Within the Forbidden Forest or check out our Facebook page.)

Flash forward a few months, and someone starts messaging me about my ex. (This is the first female to harass me.) When I wouldn't get pressured into getting back with him, I was publicly attacked by her through comments and poems presented as though I was some kind of monster for not sacrificing my own happiness and wellbeing to be with him. While she was removed from the site after being reported, I had lost my sense of security on there, and I could no longer post my work without worrying about personal attacks, so left the site.

Now, a couple of months ago, a girl reached out to me on my radio show's social media page claiming to be a fan wanting to see more of our work. But almost immediately, she started telling me she was friends with my ex and how he was "so sweet" and he missed me and I should take him back. I told her she crossed the line and that while she can enjoy the show and our work, that she has no right getting involved in my personal life, especially when she only knew one side of the story. She agreed it was wrong of her to cross those boundaries and agreed not to message me again. SO, that's it right? WRONG! If that was true, this post would be pointless.

So on June 30, 2019, I get a message from her and it made my blood BOIL! She said that I was horrible for hurting him and that even though she thinks little of me for it, he misses me, which is clear due to his sad song playlist (which she shared the song names with me of course... Not sure what she expected me to do with that, but let me know if ya'll know why). She claims she knows the whole story because he told her (still hasn't heard my side, but I guess I don't have the right, I guess, and if he is so damn great, why doesn't she go and be with him? Why do I have to be the one that suffers?). Now with me being all about empowHERing and voicing my belief in women's rights, I told her I was disappointed in her backward thinking and went on a long tangent about women standing up for women—which leads me to my message for today.

My message to you today: Women, don't judge other women when taking things at face value. Sometimes, there is more to the story than you're aware, and you never know what she is dealing with or going through. You should be standing up for each other, not bringing each other down! (No one should be pressured into anything they are not comfortable with. Any guy can seem sweet and genuine, but only the one who has personally experienced his second face knows his true colors.) That isn't to say that women can't be manipulative too; but remember, the guy who has to constantly call his ex crazy usually is the one who made her that way.

Women, encourage each other to be with someone who would do anything to see you happy, as he is the only one deserving of your relentless and undying love. Never settle for anything less than a man who supports you, encourages you to do better, brings out the best in you, loves you for who you are, and values your brain, not just your beauty. (Now, I'm not talking about vampires and zombies... that's a whole other subject). Don't let anyone try and convince you to settle for anything else. Let the men come up to our standards, we shouldn't be stooping to theirs.

This is 2019, it is about time we start empowHERing and inspiring again. It is time we excel and show the world what we can do! Time to bring out our true potentials. I said no to being controlled and defined by a man. We have quite a few democratic women fighting for presidency as we speak. What is the empowHERing step you made?

Remember: Stop fighting... Start empowhering!

Bazal Morani
Bazal Morani
Read next: The State
Bazal Morani

A strong believer in women's rights, I have joined with Queens and Future Queens to empower the women in our community. Professionally, I am a business consultant with a background in education. I love to empower and inspire.

See all posts by Bazal Morani