What Do Women REALLY Want?

by Gayla Ber about a month ago in feminism

Searching for meaning in media

What Do Women REALLY Want?

Have you ever Googled "What do women want?" I have. It's a little disconcerting. Because, despite the fact that I didn't put the words "in a man" in my search, the first page of results came up with articles with titles like "What do women want in a man?" and "10 Things Men Wish Women Knew About Sex" (Guess what, we probably already know them. In fact, there are probably more than 10 things WOMEN wish men knew about sex).

But really? What DO women REALLY want?

In my previous article, I made it clear, I don't speak for all women. I include that disclaimer here, too.

What do women want? It's an age-old question. I think I know some of the things, based on my own experiences.

We want equal pay for equal work.

It's 2019. How is this still a thing? Have you heard about Equal Pay Day? It's how far into the new year a woman has to work to equal what a man made in the previous year. This year it's March 31, 2020. Think about that. That female construction worker? She works just as hard as the guy sitting on the truck beside her. But it won't be until March of 2020 when her 2019 salary will match his.

We want equal opportunity for work

This sounds both obvious and redundant but the reality is, women are 30% less less likely to be considered for a hiring process (phys.com). And women with children are 35% (give or take, the exact stat can be found in the link above) less likely to be considered. Think about that. Having kids is a punishment to women.

We want good sex

I wrote a whole article about sex—well, more romance and foreplay—previously. But let's face it. We want sex. And we want it to be good. That's not to say men don't want good sex. I'm sure they do. But as I referenced in my previous article "What A Girl Wants," women in general want to be wooed. We want to be romanced. Foreplay is a huge thing. Really. There's nothing nicer than having your body touched by your lover before even engaging in actual coitus. Little gestures. Massages. Something that shows our partners care.

We want to be able to go out after dark without fearing for our safety

Ask the men in your life what they worry about when they are walking through a parking garage after the sun has gone down. Or while they're on a run through the park in the evening. Or even if they are driving home and have to stop to pump gas in their car. The Huffington Post had a great article referencing Tweets by women relaying what they do to feel safe at night. It began with Kaitlin Curtice (@KaitlinCurtice) tweeting:

"Women: RT if you've ever walked through a parking lot with your keys between your fingers or pretended to talk on the phone because you felt unsafe."

She thought she'd get a few dozen retweets. She got over 68,000 in four days (Huffington Post, 2018). Responses included:

Or ever gotten off a subway car, or an elevator, or took a different route home, or went into a store you didn’t need to go to because someone was following you. (@pronounced_ing)

Recently, I had issues with my key fob not working properly. My first thought, upon realizing, was not the inconvenience of not being able to unlock my car remotely, but that if someone attacked me from behind, I wouldn't be able to get inside my car fast enough. (@thecoachkessler)

There are many more examples of how women have made themselves look more like men by wearing baggy clothes and "walking like a man" in the hopes of not being catcalled or harassed. Or tucking their hair into their shirts to make their shoulders look bigger. The reality is, women just don't feel safe. And this needs to change.

We want a say in our reproductive rights

No. Not we want—we SHOULD have a say in our reproductive rights! When did it become okay for men to legislate a woman's rights to her own reproduction? Never. Believe me. If women lawmakers tried to pass legislation forcing men to have vasectomies to prevent unwanted pregnancies, or if men had to carry babies to term, our reproductive rights would never be an issue. Forced vasectomies would never pass. But male lawmakers seem to think that they should be able to control whether or not a woman can terminate a pregnancy, regardless of the reason she wants to. Several states in the US have passed ridiculous legislation that basically makes it impossible for women to access safe abortions if they want or need them, because they need to know they're pregnant before they would reasonably know they were pregnant. Ohio introduced a bill stating that no one can get an abortion after six weeks. At the six week mark, a woman very likely doesn't even know she's pregnant! These so-called 'heartbeat bills' mean that when cardiac activity (heartbeat) can be detected by ultrasound and/or Doppler, there is no longer a legal ability to get an abortion. In some cases it means that insurance won't cover it. In others it means that doctors can be charged for even performing it—even if out of pocket by the patient. And in many cases, there are no exceptions for rape, human trafficking, or incest. Could you imagine being a woman who has been raped, has gotten pregnant and your state won't allow you to terminate that unwanted pregnancy? Some states will still allow abortions for medical reasons. And some are stupid enough to think an ectopic pregnancy can be re-implanted in the uterus. Scientifically? No. It can not be done. Now, science fictionally? Maybe.

We are productive and valuable members of society.

It's time the rest of the world caught up.

feminism
Read next: The State
Gayla Ber

Writing is a bit of a passion for me. I enjoy sharing ideas and opinions. I'm not afraid to engage in conversation that contradicts my opinion, but I fight on the side of science.

See all posts by Gayla Ber