Thrift Store Therapy

I have always loved thrift stores. Everything, including furniture, clothes and decor, is way cheaper. I recently lost my Father, and my job, within a three week span. My father died at the age of 90 from what appears to be a heart attack. He was 90, and had Dementia. It was not completely unexpected, but devastating nevertheless. My full time job let me go a few weeks later. I feel it was a wrongful termination, but I was not surprised. The management had always treated me badly. The job paid well, but was toxic. I just felt numb, and old. I am 57 years old now. I need to work for a few more years before I can retire.

My oldest daughter arranged for me to come visit earlier to cheer me up. I had a great time with my grandchildren, and in between I sent out job applications. I love being a Nana, but I also loved helping the disabled in my job. Now I was unable to do what I have been trained to do. Yes, I was burned out, but I was also sad. My job gave me purpose, and direction as well as income. I decided I need to try something else as a job.

I have been writing more in the last year than ever before. I have also been making video content, which I enjoy. A long time ago I went to college to be a journalist. I did not complete my degree, and I started a family at 22. I was a stay at home mom for many years, writing when I could. I took a Children's Literature course too. Not much ended up published. I was a server, hostess, to go specialist, nanny, administrative assistant and finally started my career in healthcare. I became a direct support worker, and did work with all types of people with ID. I worked at one agency for 6 years before taking a year long break. I worked in a restaurant that year, and loved it. I was burned out on care giving.

I could not pay my bills for long on my restaurant job, so I went back to care giving. This particular agency allowed bullying against me. They harassed me over using FMLA for chronic illness and questioned my ability to work. At the same time they would leave me as the only staff for 12 hours with three individuals who needed total care. I almost left on my own last year, but the money kept me stuck. I guess the universe had to give me a push in the form of getting fired.

So, back to my love for thrift stores. Today I walked to my local shopping center, mostly to help lift the depression that has been a constant in the last month. I started to feel a little better when I saw the old mirrors, and books. A whole box of American Girl Doll books! I sent a picture to my daughter. She immediately responded and I felt a little less lonely. I walked some more, and ended up in the Goodwill. I saw a tray, displaying an old Coca Cola sign. It looked like something from the 1920's. I wondered to myself why I love old things. I remembered my Aunt and Uncle's antique store, and all the antiques we had in my home growing up. Then I had a revelation. Being around old things which are getting a new life is giving my heart some hope. I am like that tray or book that will find new life in a new role. I am not old, I am an antique. Something beautiful from another time. Just waiting to shine somewhere new.