Those who make #metoo claims years later or for attention, fame, money or to ruin someone's career
you know who you are
I wanted to talk about this topic for a while. As a me too survivor I have to deal with people not believing me because of people who make claims that come at times that make people question the authenticity of the story. People throw the word liar around a lot when maybe the people are telling the truth. I want to talk about the people who make others question the me too movement. Let's talk about these groups individually first.
So let's talk about the people who wait years to tell their stories or to press charges. We are not talking the people that wait a couple of years, we're talking about 20+ years to make things known. The main question for me about this group is did they tell someone when it happened? If there is evidence the evidence is gone years or months later. Anyone that can vouch for your story can forget details or change their story. Take your time telling your story. Their are statute of limitations. People have a few problems when it comes to those who wait 20+ years to come forward publicly. One of the first is why does it take someone 20+ years to make the story public? The other one is what were you hoping to gain from waiting? These issues come from a place of curiosity for some people. People want to understand motives.
Then there's the people who come forward for attention. This group could have liars in it. Not all people in the attention seeker group are liars. A good portion of attention seekers are those who lie or embellish their stories. My problem with this group is why are you wanting attention for something so horrible and something that has hurt a lot of people. Assault and rape alter lives and mental health. People who have been through rape or assault may have issues with trust. They may also have issues with mental health or intimacy. Attention seekers may make all me too survivors look like liars. They may also diminish the true stories.
I'm going to lump those who want fame and money together. I will also talk about those who are looking to gain other things with story. There's a difference between people that are looking for personal gain and those who are looking to gain something for the time's up/me too cause. Some people will look to gain something because maybe they feel like they are owed something for what happened to them. This will not help your mental health or whatever issues you're going through because of your assault or rape. Some people may lie in this group too. They may lie to just to be paid off.
There are also people who come out to ruin someone's reputation or career. Some people accused the R Kelly's accusers of doing this. The people wanting to ruin someone are not telling their story for the right reason if the story is even true. Some people may lie to ruin someone. I had someone do this to a former friend of mine. It was devastating to see this happen. There may even be people that tell their story to push an election a certain way. They will come out very close to an election so it makes people suspect they want to push an election a certain way.
There is also the liars. All the groups I have mentioned during this post may have liars in the group but they could also have people that are telling the truth. People that lie are the main reason people don't want to just blindly believe everyone who says that they went through a me too situation. Some people believe that the liars just want attention but no one knows why people lie about this.
These group of people mainly exist to get something. They also are the reason that some people question all stories. The me too movement exist to encourage the truth to come out. It also gave birth to the believe all women movement. This will probably not sit well with the believe all women movement but not all women are telling the truth. Also not all survivors are women believe it or not.
Sometimes I think that the women in these groups we discussed (besides the liars) maybe using whatever issues they experienced after the assault as an excuse to try to get something out of their stories. Money, fame and other perks are great motivators for people to speak up.
Remember to keep people accountable with their actions. We have to keep people honest.