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There’s More to Mid-Life Than Crisis for Women: So Why Aren’t We Talking About the Joys?

7 awesome things for middle age women to be happy about

By Danielle McGawPublished 3 years ago 5 min read
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There’s More to Mid-Life Than Crisis for Women: So Why Aren’t We Talking About the Joys?
Photo by Joseph Kellner on Unsplash

I did a Google search for “midlife women” this morning to cultivate some ideas for articles to write about women my age (51). Can you guess what I found?

All the results were on a woman’s mid-life crisis! Why? Is that all people think mid-life is for women? One crisis after another?

There are many joys of being mid-life as a woman that just can’t compare to being in your 20s and 30s. Why don’t we talk about those joys more?

But let’s talk about the joys. Here are some joys of being a mid-life woman that you may not find in earlier parts of your life.

#1 Where are the kids?

Mid-life for women is usually defined as the period between 40 and 65 years of age. At that point, for many of us, children are either later in their teen years or may even have moved out of the house to go to college or start their own lives. If they are still living at home, they are (should be) more self-sufficient. They don’t need someone to cook for them, and they have lives of their own.

If they are still living at home and expecting you to do everything for them, I strongly encourage you to put a stop to that PDQ (pretty damn quick)! Set limits and boundaries in your house that force them not to rely on you for things like laundry, cooking, money, and other things that they will soon need to take care of themselves.

But where are the kids? The point being, you have more time for yourself! Take advantage of it. Make yourself less available if you have to.

#2 Time is yours

As you have more time, you have more choices about how you want to spend it. You can pick up a hobby you used to love. Read more books. Start a side-gig to save for retirement or a vacation.

Not every woman has more time in mid-life (ailing spouses, taking care of parents, adult children that return to the nest) but when the opportunity comes, spend that time on yourself. You deserve it.

#3 You know who your friends are

By the time most women hit their middle years, they know who the friends are that they can count on. You might have fewer friends, but the people you count as friends are tried and true. You know they are loyal and you can depend on them to be there when you need them. They may be women that have been with you for years or they may be new friends.

Your experience in life makes you better at choosing friends, too. You can spot a toxic person from a mile away. You can see the user, the fake friend, the time sucker or the emotional vampire before they latch on to you. Experience has also taught you that age and gender are not important, so you might have friends that are outside your own age range and you may have more male friends.

#4 Sex! OMG — the sex is so much better!

If you’re anything like me, you have no patience for bad sex. Or even mediocre sex. Because our sexual appetites tend to be all over the place, when you do have sex, you make sure it is going to be damn good because you are not afraid to speak out. You tell your partner when something isn’t working and you’re ecstatically happy when it is working.

If you’re not there yet ladies, hang on! Your sexual peak is coming.

#5 Appearances matter so much less

Want to run around in a ponytail and sweatpants on your day off? Do it! Want to throw out your under-wire bra and fall in love with sports bras again? Go for it! Want to stop dying your hair? Give it up (apparently that grey/silver hair look is super trendy). Tired of doing your make-up every day? That’s ok, too.

And if anyone says anything about it, stop, look them right in the eye and say, “I’ve earned the right to give that up. Look the other way if my confidence bothers you!”

Seriously, who the hell cares? As long as you are happy with how you look, that’s all that matters!

#6 You can dance like no one is watching — anywhere, anytime

Hear a great song while you’re grocery shopping? Stop for a second or a minute and shake those hips, mama. Ok, ya, people are going to stop and stare. Good for them. Maybe they will realize that middle age women are still people.

Women in mid-life often feel invisible. It’s as if people look right through us. It’s not funny.

#7 Every day is a surprise

Menopause brain is real. You may not be quite there yet, but it is coming. One day you’ll have mid-life brain fog and you’ll start forgetting random things. Like your cat’s name. Or where you put your glasses. Or how your passwords.

It’s going to happen, so there’s no point in fighting it. It’s useless to stress about it, too. All you can do is laugh and enjoy the surprises.

Your friend from across the country could suddenly show up on your doorstep because you totally forgot the day they were coming. House not clean? Don’t worry. She understands. And if she doesn’t she’ll go home that much sooner.

Doing laundry is so much more fun because you find amazing things in the pockets. Money, your lost lipstick, a note from a friend, your mini-vibrator — who knows what you’ll find next!

Mid-life can be a crisis for women — if that’s what you’re looking for, I’m sure it will be. But all you have to do is shift your focus a little and look for the joys, and you will find that they are there. You’ll find happiness in the least expected places.

Can we start calling it mid-life joy?

“Sorry, I can’t make it to your boring backyard barbeque this weekend. I’m in the middle of some mid-life joy!”

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About the Creator

Danielle McGaw

Freelance writer | More about me here: http://dani.space

Sex | Dating | Relationships | Mental Health | Self | Fiction

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