The Pressures of Being a Woman

For a long time, I thought that I was going to get married and have a few kids but as time went on I started to realize that I don’t want that for myself; I am one of those people who realized early that marriage and kids were not for me and that is OK. I have come to the conclusion that having kids and a husband or wife is not in the cards for me; I like my space and I like being able to do things for myself and not have to worry about other people. You see the commercials for the wedding rings and the pregnancy tests and you start to think if maybe there is something wrong with you because you don’t have that urge to go out get those things. Being a woman is hard enough without feeling like I have to change my whole world to fit some societal norm that states that having a family will somehow complete me as a person, I don’t have time for that.

I have seen so many shows on t.v. about marriage or being engaged that I am starting to feel like they are trying to tell me that I need to get on the ball and find a person to marry me; you have strangers getting married without even knowing the person. There are shows about people from other countries coming to the United States to marry people that they don’t really know; sadly most of those people are just looking for a green card. I have seen shows about wedding dress shopping which I will admit is a guilty pleasure of mine, however, seeing all of this still makes me not want to walk down the aisle or even want to start looking for a potential fiance. Honestly, the thought of being with the same person for the rest of my life makes me a bit uncomfortable because I just don’t have the attention span to last that long, I can barely focus on writing this article. So marriage is the last thing I want to think about and that whole biological clock thing is just some b.s. made up to force woman of a certain age to be a slave to a society that would rather the just be seen and not heard.

Now as for the whole kid's thing, I can honestly say that I know that I am not the mothering type: the way my life is set up kids would only make things more complicated and I don’t need that right now, I have too many things that I want to do. Don’t get me wrong, I love kids and I love being an aunt but as far as having my own I would rather not, granted I did at one point look into becoming a surrogate but they wanted to know way too much about me and you need to already be a mother. So as far as I am concerned I don’t need to know what it is like to have kids because I get to be an aunt which is like having a kid except you get to give them back to their real parents.

In my random internet searches over the years I have found a number of different lifestyles that I would consider something I would try such as open relationships and marriages or even polyamory which are not the same thing by the way. Having an open relationship means that you can see whoever you want whenever you want and the other person can’t get upset about it; sometimes people like to put rules on it and that doesn’t make it truly open. Now polyamory is the ability to fall in love with multiple people, from what I have gathered it is being in a married or in a committed relationship with someone but also have other committed relationships with other people. When I found out that this was an option I gravitated towards it because I got to be with someone and also be with other people and not feel like I was being trapped in a relationship. I am not one of those people who feels that everyone should be free to be with as many people as they want, you like monogamy and that is your thing then I say go for it but if not then don’t. People shouldn’t feel like they have to be with just one person for the rest of their lives, if you don’t want that then don’t get it.

I want to conclude this by saying that being a woman is not fun sometimes and the constant pressure from society to want to get married and have babies is just a little too much for some of us to handle especially when we have a hard time figuring out what to eat for breakfast. Most of the time we have to deal with old white men telling us what to do with our bodies and life as it is so if I don’t feel the urge to go out and get pregnant or walk down the aisle then I think it is my right as a woman to say that I don’t want to do that right now. So to all the women out there that feel the same way that I do I say this, live your life the way you want to, and don’t let society or anyone for that matter try to tell you what you should do with your life.