The Ladies' Restroom

A door appeared out of nowhere in front of you. Obviously, you open it.

Aubrey stormed out of the panel room, slamming the door behind her. She frantically blinked back tears that had risen in proportion to her blood pressure skyrocketing. The pricks wouldn’t get to see her tears period, whether they were from frustration, sorrow, or joy. They had lost the privilege. They wouldn’t get to see anything but her very pissed off back for a long time. How long? She wasn’t sure but it would have to be long enough for her to forget this shitshow. Probably not this lifetime, she acknowledged.

This was the first convention that Aubrey had ever attended as a creator guest instead of as a convention goer. Aubrey had been elated when she had received the invitation to be a guest on a panel about women creators. Now, she wished she had rejected the invitation. Screw that. She wished she had burnt the invitation and sent it back as ashes. How dare they?!

Those pompous, bigoted men had actually tried to tell her what the subtext of her work was. She realized too late that all the women at the panel table were guest creators. Not a single woman was running the panel. The hosts did not even attempt to allow dialogue that was not their own. She was interrupted and cut off every time she tried to speak. How in hell did the women deal with this bullshit?! Mansplaining was too benign of a word to properly convey how distressed she felt being subjected to it.

It was probably for the best she was the first one to be questioned or she would have stormed out early on without making her point so eloquently. Instead, she stormed out after being rendered speechless by a panel host’s question. Who the fuck actually thinks that it is okay to ask if she was a frigid prude because she emphasized consent in her work?! When no one defended her or admonished the host who presented the question, rage filled her. Flipping the bird at said host, she stormed through the surprised attendees and out of the panel room.

Now, she was struggling to keep a straight face as she rushed through the convention’s crowded hall. Her eyes started scanning for the women’s restroom so she could have some privacy to purge her frustration. Honestly, if she hadn’t of tripped on thin air, she might have missed it. As it was, her hand hit the door to steady herself. It was the door for the ladies restroom she had been searching for. A little strange as there were no signs to point it out in a convention center but maybe that would explain the total lack of a line. There was always a line to the women’s restroom at events like this. Always.

Wiping her eyes quickly and covertly, Aubrey quickly opened the door and slipped inside. Immediately, Aubrey’s senses were assaulted violently. Blinking her eyes rapidly to get rid of the spots the sudden rush of light had caused, Aubrey stared wide eyed. This was not the ladies restroom. She quickly turned around and exited the absurdity she had just encountered. She looked at the sign on the door again. It said it was the ladies restroom. Maybe she just imagined it. Got blinded by a reflection in a bathroom mirror? Aubrey pushed back into the restroom again, aware that staring at the door was making her look a little loopy.

This time, she kept her eyes firmly shut until she was through the door. Peeking through her lashes, Aubrey was once again flabbergasted by what she was seeing. This was definitely not the ladies restroom. Shrugging her shoulders, she pushed forward. Why was this room masquerading as a women’s restroom?

Despite the large rooms on both sides of this supposed restroom, the dimensions were huge. Maybe it was like the TARDIS? It was undeniably not the result of great decorating because that chocolate fountain would not fit in a normal room based off normal physics. Walking further into the room, Aubrey collapsed on one of the conveniently placed sofas and slipped her heels off. Sighing in relief, she continued to survey the room.

The chocolate fountain was surrounded by sparkling glasses of what appeared to be liquor and some food to dip into the fountain. The strawberries were looking remarkably succulent considering they had been out of season for 3 months. There were a few exhausted looking women who looked to be on the edge of an orgasm after ingesting the chocolate. Aubrey was starting to feel a little envious.

Further into the room was what looked like a cyber café but some of which were televisions. It was filled to the brim. She raised an eyebrow at that. “They’re catching up on shows they had to put on the back burner.” A voice answered her unasked question from the side. Aubrey almost jumped in surprise. “What do you mean?” Aubrey asked for clarification as she turned to face a woman with a kind face. “You’re new here, aren’t you? You made it pretty far before having access to this room. I’m happy for you. My name is Lauren and this room, and many others like it, exist for women to decompress from the fuckery of the male patriarchy. Those women are catching up on their shows that they had to put on a back burner because they had to focus on their families or their work.” Lauren nodded towards the women.

“Oh. How does that work though? Its still the same amount of time.” Aubrey’s brow crumpled as she tried to make sense of the information. “As you can tell by the size of this room, we aren’t keeping to normal laws of physics. Even that door is special. It exists in multiple places at the same time. It appears when women are in need of this room.” Lauren sat down next to Aubrey and offered her one of the sparkling liquors she had seen. Aubrey stared at it for a moment. Eh, what the fuck? She might as well. Her day was already in the shithole. Taking a cautious sip of the bright drink, Aubrey’s eyes widened. “This is good.” Lauren chuckled at Aubrey’s tone of surprise.

After taking a few more sips, Aubrey set her glass down. “So, this is place is weirder than the TARDIS but just as cool. How did it come to be?”

“No one knows. Some women have tried to track down when it came into being but there’s no clear-cut answer.” Lauren shrugged.

“How difficult is it to track down a metaphysical room that only appears to women who’ve suffered at the hands of a man oriented societal structure?” Aubrey asked, incredulous.

“Well, officially, there is no way to track it. Not a single woman who enters here can mention it in any way outside of that door. So, they had to get creative. They tracked it through how long women take in the restroom and when they started going in groups. Yes, times moves differently in here, but it is easy to lose track of time on the outside too. As much as some people would like to, no one can actually live in here without signs showing on the outside. I can’t say that I’m not sympathetic to the thought process. After a tough day on the outside, it really is tempting.” Lauren chattered, her arms waving as if to encompass the room.

“That’s fascinating.” Aubrey smiled. She decided to indulge herself by relaxing in the gentle atmosphere of the room. Outside of here was a harsh world that she was only just beginning to experience and understand. No wonder men always complained that women take too long in the restroom. They would too if they could experience the wonder of this sanctuary.