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The Awful Truth About Fake Geek Girls

It Can Get Worse

By MissieKatjiePublished 6 years ago 3 min read
(By Eva India)
They stalk conventions in skimpy costumes, spending money on geeky merchandise, all to sink their claws into and seduce an unsuspecting Real Geek Boy. They'll flutter those fake eyelashes as they slink into a conversation on the latest installment of your favourite video game franchise, but don't let them fool you, they aren't really interested. They just want you.

The worst part? These women, these "Fake Geek Girls" don't actually exist.

As a rule, they're conventionally attractive—because this is a Real Geek Boy fantasy, let's be real here—and, for some reason, want to bag one of these guys who would just disrespect the hell out of her and treat her like a trophy.

As with anything the Real Geek Boy dreams up, the fantasy leaks into reality to the point where every single woman that expresses an interest in geeky things is the enemy. 'Cause a girl can't possibly want to be involved in a hobby that boys like.

What kind of elementary school bullshit is this?

The "Fake Geek Girl" archetype was spawned from the stark terror these guys experience over the idea that "their" hobby is being "invaded" by women.

Yeah, I know. It's ridiculous.

Look, I've been into geeky shit since I was knee-high to a grasshopper. I was raised on Star Trek and The Addams Family. I was playing Tetris, Super Mario Brothers, and Dr. Mario in my spare time (complete with nightmares about those damn viruses). When I was younger and expressed interest in these things, it was a conversation-starter. Over the past ten years, for most women—especially the conventionally-attractive kind—it's been a signal to summon the Spanish Inquisition.

Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition, but here we are.

These guys would question the gaming aptitude of D.Va, Overwatch's professional-Starcraft-gamer-turned-war-hero, including how long she's been playing, and they'd grill her on every freaking piece of obscure lore they could think of.

Don't be fooled, they'll say that they won't do that because she's D.Va, but we know better.

How do we deal with this bullshit?

To begin with, we have to stop giving a damn about what the male geek population thinks. They don't have to approve of us being in geekspace—we've always been there, we invented fandom, everything they enjoy is thanks to us—and we don't have to explain ourselves. This is a hobby. It's a mainstream hobby, all this geek stuff, whether these Fake Geek Boys realize it or not.

They should, considering the popularity of that steaming pile of shit that is Big Bang Theory, and the multi-millions of dollars that super hero movies bring in, and the fact that the gaming industry is absolutely huge. The amount of money that goes into and comes out of video games is utterly ridiculous, with some companies pulling in millions from a combination of their games and merchandise.

They prefer the narrative of being a minority, though. It evokes sympathy. It makes them feel special—meanwhile, they're the jocks now, and the jocks weren't nearly as bad as these guys are. Jocks I knew were totally stoked to talk sports with somebody else that was as into their sport of choice as they were. Geek dudes? Notsomuch.

We need to keep throwing our weight around and reminding everyone that we're here and not going away. At the same time, we need to be prepared to stand up for each other instead of targeting and attacking other women. It may be tempting to insist that you're "not like other gamer girls" or just plain "not like other girls" but, honey, you've been brainwashed. I used to talk the same line of bullshit.

This is a conversation for a completely different article.

Goodness gracious, we're stronger together, and geekdom is more fun with other people.

These Fake Geek Boys will either adapt and learn that we're not the enemy —and we're here to stay—or they'll fizzle out and move on to something else. Or, they'll implode and suck everything into the black hole they leave behind, but I'm totally cool with that if they take a few more assholes with them.

gender roles

About the Creator


Loves Star Trek, cats, tallships, lost expeditions, and macabre things. Adult with ADHD. Wrangles vintage graphics into digital products and sells vintage stuff. Knows many things, finds it difficult to apply them.

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