Spectrums, Harassment, Assault, and Sexism

Generally speaking you are born with XX or XY chromosomes. This means biologically and anatomically you are either male or female. However, there is a difference between gender/sex and sexual preferences. As you are developing in the womb, you start out as female. As you develop more you may stay a female, or become a male. The brain develops before the genitals, so it is possible to be born with a male brain but female genitals or vice versa. Hence, the sexual spectrum which we all fall somewhere on to.

This is actual science, and as I stated, we all fall somewhere on this spectrum. I have looked into it, and I fall in the middle. This means that I’m not really hetero or homosexual. It’s easy to say that we are straight or gay, but we don’t really know where we fall exactly.

Unfortunately, because some people don’t understand this, there is a lot of hatred and harassment in the world. There have been murders, rapes, and assaults to people of different identifying genders and sexual preferences. These are done for various reasons, some psychological and mental, aside from the physical aspect. We can’t generalize the reasons other than to shame and intimidate them for their existence as they see fit. This is horrible and appalling, and happens every day. Some people come forward, some don’t for various reasons, including being ashamed of what happened to them, and regardless, they have to deal with the stigma and psychological repercussions on a daily basis.

Please keep in mind that I am talking from a male, somewhat reptilian brain. I cannot speak for other people as I have never been through any of the aforementioned traumatic events. I do not condone any type of harm coming to anyone, and am trying to choose my words correctly to reflect that. So please understand if I make a mistake and please tell me if I am wrong.

It is never the victim's fault. It does not matter if it is a woman with a short dress she feels comfortable in, or a drag queen in high heels. The only person to blame is the perpetrator. They did it for whatever reason against the will of the other adult. Without consent, it is never ok. Because someone is blacked out or not able to consent does not mean consent.

I’m not sure why sexism still exists. Just recently, I had another male tell me “If I wasn’t married; I would fuck her fat ass.” (Referring to a coworker.) Now please don’t misunderstand me, as a married man, there are females I find attractive and different features that attract me. However, I realize that it those features, whatever they may be are attractive. I also realize that I am married and realize that they are equal people just like anyone else. While those thoughts exist and that’s ok to have sexual thoughts, it’s how you react to them. Leering and drooling are not acceptable, nor anything else that makes them feel uncomfortable. If someone tells you no, stop, or that you’re making them feel uncomfortable, then you should stop whatever you are doing. No means no, it’s as simple as that. Unfortunately, the male alpha ego is still going strong in some people and they don’t understand this. Sometimes it’s money or power that people think gives them the right to do this. It’s still up to them to know what’s wrong and right. Women are not objects for our amusement. They are mothers, doctors, lawyers, etc. They should be on equal levels with us males. They don’t always seem to be. We have film executives and even a president who are known for horrid acts and sexism, and they try to make it the norm.

The hashtag #metoo is trending on social media right now. The amount of posts I’ve seen from friends is disturbing and appalling. Some of these people I know have been sexually assaulted and some I didn’t. Sexual assault doesn’t have to be rape. It can be groping or coercing someone into something they don’t want to do.

My general rule is that if you wouldn’t say it to your mother or wouldn’t want it said to you by a cell mate, you probably shouldn’t say it. I don’t care how much money you have, how famous you are. You are still an adult who should be held responsible for your actions, and should own up to what you did. Period.