Silence From Someone Doesn't Mean They are okay

"Why I didn't report it", "This is Not Consent" and many other movements that allow not only women but men and those that are apart of the LGBTQ+ to tell their story and share their truth with others. When people see abuse and this message. Hopefully people can relate to this and be able to tell their own if they experience it without being no longer afraid or worried because they have the support from others that experience it and see the importance of consent and that everyone feeling is fucking valid.

[Sexual assault can be verbal, visual, or anything that forces a person to join in unwanted sexual contact or attention. Rape is a form of sexual assault. It happens in many situations—on a date, by a friend or an acquaintance, or when you think you are alone.]

It's plain and simple, okay? "Maybe" is not an invitation for you to touch anyone.

"Maybe" is not a chance for anyone to have sex or to have a quickie in a nasty ass place or workplace with someone that isn't sure.

All because you need to be relieved from stress so you expect them to be the one to understand and give it up to cater to their needs.

Or

For example, a scenario would be your boss think it's okay to advantage of you as an employee because they control your paycheck. This goes for men and women because women can be predators too. I feel they aren't seen as predators often. For the main reason, women are shown as victims.

What people need to understand is that there is no discrimination when it comes to rape and sexual assaults, It can be anybody and happen anywhere.

This is global.

Remember if you haven't heard or read this enough, She can change her mind.

He can change her mind.

They can change her mind.

I can change my mind.

People do not need to have sex with you if they don't want to. Even if they are sitting in front of you half-naked, don't mean you deserve to get your orgasm off of them.

They do not owe you anything, not a damn thing.

If it's no then, it's NO.

I have heard stories about women getting raped and sexually assaulted on the news, social media, television shows, documentaries, and from women themselves that experienced it.

When they were trying to explain their side or tell someone that they thought they could trust to protect them,

Understand them or Remind them that they are whole.

They are strong what happened shouldn't define that they aren't worthy or good.

Yet some were questioned and humiliated.

Most men are unheard because Some feel they wanted it because the majority of men are supposed to be seen as thirsty for sex or masculine, I suppose and that's not true at all. Many men in the world have been sexually assaulted by women and men even at an early age. [More than one in three women and nearly 1 in four men have experienced sexual violence.* CDC.gov]

Transgenders and others apart of the LGBTQI Community, I feel are often overlooked. I do not believe that transgenders and others in the community get the respect that they deserve or understanding that they need.

Did you know that from rainn.org that the sexual violence statistics for transgenders that are students is 21%? Younger people are at a high risk between the ages of 12-34? Isn't that sad and disturbing?

I just want to say being silent doesn't mean that they are okay or accepted it either.

Not her, Him, or even me.

I was only around the age of sixteen or seventeen not too far from the age I am now that I can remember. He was a couple of years older than me and was my friend first, we never truly dated. I always felt it was my fault honestly because I was vulnerable and hurt at the time that I had spoken to him. I was willing to talk with anyone because I felt lost and alone. The only reason why I think I felt lost was because of my attachment to one person that I thought I needed with me. I was in a new place that was completely unfamiliar to me and wanted to feel safe. The first time He groped me, I didn’t ask for that. I was just waiting to go home and tried ignoring it the first time. The second time I remember it was a Friday the rally day. I didn't want to go, and he said he wouldn't either and he just wanted to talk. He tried getting oral sex from me by telling me to close my eyes & said he had a surprise for me by pushing my head down but I said no because I open my eyes to see that he was exposed and eventually was able to move out his way. He said I wasted his time and for me, I didn’t feel right, I felt dirty and confused on if I should say something to anyone. All I did was I never spoken to him and I never wore that outfit again. Why I didn’t report him was because I’m seen as a people person. So I felt I would have gotten questions like why didn’t I tell sooner? I probably wanted it because why would I be sitting with him? Or more comments on how I just accept anything a guy does to me. I don’t think I would have gotten any justice because of my fear of those questions, I didn’t feel ready to be judged or questioned. I was afraid of him; I was afraid of saying it was something that happened but I didn’t want to go to that point with him and he was pushing it. Sometimes when I think about things, I think about that moment If I didn’t leave myself open I don’t think he would have touched me. I don’t think I would feel the way that I do now sometimes. I don't know overall this is just my thoughts...

In Washington Coalition of sexual assault Programs, (WCSAP.ORG) It mentions the effects of sexual assault happening and how each survivor deals with it differently.

I think for me I was ashamed, in denial, and minimizing what happened because I know it's others that experienced worse. I didn't feel that mine was valid and didn't realize it was. until it played a toll on personal things in my life.

Other effects are Guilt, Boundaries, Trust altered, Wanting to isolate yourself, and Amnesia. (Yes, There's more that can affect you.)

The whole point is Consent is important no matter who it is, It can be your husband, your wife, your friend, a stranger, and friends with benefits. If you don't want sex, it's okay to say no. (No matter what type of sexual activity it is.)

It's okay to tell someone; you don't have to know them if you don't feel comfortable telling someone that knows you. You can be anonymous, you can ask someone for support by them telling for you. A group is made for what you and many others have experienced.

If you're like me or know anyone that is like me and they didn't want to open up right away about what happened. I hope you don't be shamed, or you don't shame them, but don't push them. Nobody needs more pressure as they are figuring out how to express themselves.

Support them and let them open up at their time.

Helpful sites: https://www.d2l.org/get-help/reporting/

and

https://victimconnect.org/resources/national-hotlines/

Better Help (Online Therapy, if you feel better with doing that way)

Talkspace (Online Therapy )

Or going to a local therapist in your area.

It is many others out there to seek help. If you made it to the end, Thank you for reading. Know I wrote this for me mainly. To let go knowing that I'm not wrong, I'm not a slut or dirty because I truly felt like that for a long time. Also, for people that experience this and those that understand the importance of how this hurts people and changes them in many ways that some can't recover from.