Sex Education: The importance of Aimee's Story

Netflix’s Sex Education is a must see of the year. There are many reasons why i adore this program, from normalising the discussion about sex, to making it okay to laugh about those awkward moments we all experience. It’s a program I wish had been around when I was a teenager, in lots of ways it made me realise I wasn't alone. Plenty of the story-lines touched me but this season it was Aimee's that i really resonated with.

In Episode three Aimee is sexually assaulted on a public bus. She gets on like any other day and smiles at a man. Whilst on the crowded bus he pushes up against her leg and masturbates on her. Panicked she shouts out but no one seems to move or help, she quickly exits the bus. The incident doesn’t seem to sink in until Maeve convinces her to go to the police. Whilst reporting the crime the police officer brings up the fact that she smiled at him. Even though Maeve stands up to this, Aimee leaves apologising for making a fuss.

Throughout the rest of the series we see this event completely take over her life. We watch as she becomes isolated and traumatised. She loses all sense of who she is, she can no longer get on the bus and constantly chalks it all up to being dramatic or over reacting. It isn’t until the detention episode that we see her reach a tipping point and explodes with emotion, finally opening up about the psychological trauma she is going through. This results in all the girls coming together to support each other, realising that they have all experienced similar types of sexual aggression.

This story-line is so important. It’s almost become normalised for girls to be grabbed and groped, followed and shouted at, it's something that women have sadly become used to. It gets brushed off in a lot of cases or is just seen as boys being boys. What happens to Aimee highlights the fact that sexual assault comes in many different forms. Sex Education handles this issue in a compassionate and eye opening way. It gives women a voice in a society that seems tolerant to abuse. Not only does it represent a different side to sexual assault it shows a relatable account of the repercussions on day to day living. Aimee becomes tortured by her trauma. She sees this man every time she tries to get on the bus, she can’t be touched without thinking about it and she blames herself.

As women we are taught from a very young age that we have to be polite, we shouldn’t cause a scene and in so many cases we are questioned on what we were doing in order for this terrible thing to happen. Women are asked what they were wearing when the assault took place. Did you flirt with them? Were you looking in their direction? In Aimee's case the police mention that she smiled at the man. It seems that the women are questioned more than the assaulter. There’s a default system in place that seems to assume that women must have done something in order for a man to commit this crime. It excuses sexual aggression and victim shames instead.

In 2018 during a rape case of a 17 year old girl in Ireland, the victims underwear was held up in court with the defence lawyer stating “You have to look at the way she was dressed. She was wearing a thong with a lace front." She then proceeded to hand her underwear around the court in an attempt to show that the girl wanted it, or was “open to meeting someone”, that her thong was a sign of consent. The man that assaulted her was acquitted. Her underwear choice was not an invitation, it was not consent and she was not asking to be raped. It’s because of cases like this that women suffer in silence. They feel ashamed and feel as though they are bothering people by bringing it up. This message being sent out is backwards, we need more representation of the importance of these issues. Sex education is bring things to light that have been going on under the surface for every girl for years.

Aimee's faith in the world comes crumbling down, she always saw people as being inherently good and always felt safe. This event changes all of that. I think any woman watching can relate to Aimee's story, we have all experienced something similar, all felt that helpless feeling when being confronted with sexual aggression. Feeling like even if you shout out no one will help you. You see all these girls sat in detention with nothing in common, yet they can all join together in the fact they have felt that feeling. They had all experienced trauma and unwanted advances.

There are some amazing projects that have been started up for women that have been in this situation. Everyday sexism founded by Laura Bates is an incredible project that has brought to light so many stories of sexual assault and helped to change the way people speak to victims. Laura and some of the Sex Education crew have an amazing discussion on Youtube called “Sex Education - A Conversation About Sexual Assault & Aimee's Bus Scene” which i would highly recommend watching. They are breaking down these walls of victim blaming and sexism. They discuss everything from shared experiences to the way that society deals with them. They are inspiring women and this video is enlightening.

I think what we can learn from this is that we can't just ignore the way society is treating women, especially women that have been through sexual assault. People need to stand up and give women their power back. The "Me too" movement has been a massive step in the right direction but it’s not enough. We need to stop victim blaming and educate people. To teach men a correct way to talk to and approach women. We will no longer tolerate this “boys will be boys” attitude and rather teach women that you are not making a scene, you are not being rude and it is not your fault! This isn't something we should have to go through and the first step is standing together in unity against it. Just like those girls we need to hold hands and get on that bus, as a team, as people who will no longer live in a world where women have to feel powerless and silent.