Pregnancy Journey

Many women have hard pregnancies or have a hard time conceiving or can't conceive at all.

I am one of those women that have hard pregnancies. I have an incompetent cervix. This means that the cervix opens up too early causing premature birth.

A lot of the time there is no warning this is even happening. For me my cervix starts to open early on and I'm only able to carry a baby to 21 weeks without any medical interventions.

My first pregnancy I informed the dr that my mom had this very same issue and they told me it wasn't hereditary. My fears were quieted and i was happy. I had a scare at a dr appointment where i was admitted so they could watch the baby. They sent me home with a progesterone suppository. I woke up with the worst cramps i had ever felt. Only thing that helped was squatting. I called my sister because this was my first pregnancy, I didn't know what was going on. My sister told me it sounded like i was in labor. I got a cab to the hospital and prayed they could stop the labor. I got hooked up to all kinds of machines but nobody was saying anything. Finally a dr came in and told me i was indeed in labor. He did an exam and that revealed that it was active labor and there was nothing they could do to stop it.

I had to have my baby and they couldn't try to save her because at the time they didn't have what was needed to care for a baby that small. I was devastated. I went through my head on what I could have done differently. Called my nurse friends to see if they knew what I could do. I didn't want to take no as an answer but that was the answer. No, there is nothing they could do.

I had her, she was breathing when she came out. I held her until she took her last breath. Losing her hurt so bad. I never knew you could love someone you never laid eyes on, but that day my heart shattered. I always wonder what she would have looked like and what she would be like if she had survived.

My second loss is what made them try different measures. That was the rule you would have to have more than one loss for them to take preventive measures.

With my third pregnancy i had appointments every two weeks to check my cervix. At 18 weeks i had to get a cerclage placed to help hold him in. I had to get progesterone shots every week until birth. I made it to 23 weeks when my water broke. I was visiting my mom when this happend, because i had the cerclage in place the dr there didn't want any mishaps so they sent me back to pittsburgh.

I wasn't in active labor or anything,but my dr was worried that i had an infection because my water broke this early on. He examined me everything was good but i still had to be watched for the next 24 hours. So i stayed in labor and delivery. My doctor decided to keep me there until i was past 25 weeks. I had to sit in the bed with my legs elevated and he preferred I use a bedpan instead of going to the bathroom. I had to have non non-stress test everyday and biophysical ultrasounds everyday to monitor the water around the baby. Of course there was very little but he was ok. The stay got depressing very quickly. I had to do this to keep my baby safe. I made it to 25 weeks when i started having contractions. The nurse came in to check and make sure and i was immediately wheeled out and over to labor and delivery. The dr checked to make sure he was head down. He was so she was like are you ready to have this baby. I was, but scared because I didn't know what the outcome would be because he was still early.

For some reason she checked again to see if he was head down. When she checked again she discovered he had the umbilical cord around his neck. I was rushed to the or to have an emergency c section.

When I woke up I was able to see him. Couldn't hold him because he was too small. He stayed in the nicu for 3 months. He came home with no equipment at all. He is now a big happy 7 year old.

My final pregnancy, I had a dr tell me early on that my pregnancy wouldn't be successful. I got my cerclage placed at 12 weeks, started progesterone shots at 16 weeks. I found out I had gestational diabetes and had to take insulin everyday. The shots were the worst. I got a lump everytime and it was super sore. I would get in the shower after to rub out the knot.

This pregnancy was the hardest. I worried about something happening so much I couldn't even enjoy being pregnant. It didn't help that I was in pain all the time. My lower back hurt, I was gassy where my stomach felt bloated on top of carrying her. She even decided to turn head down at 16 weeks which caused me to go to the er because it hurt so bad. I had horrible braxton hicks went to the er for that too. I was dehydrated even though i drank water by the gallon. She sat so low i waddled. I mean low to the point they were on my pelvic bone trying to find her head. There were so many aches and pains with her but she came when she was supposed to. I had a scheduled c section at 35 weeks.

I was so happy to make it to the finish line with her. I still can't believe they both are here sometimes.

I want to share my story because I want to let the next woman know you are not alone. Ask those questions, never feel like like its stupid. You really never know.

I want women to be checked early in their pregnancies where they can see changes. Maybe we could save more babies.