PMDD Is No Holiday

The Winter holidays tend to be stressful times for a large majority of people, even if they get excited by and look forward to the festivities. For women also coping with PMDD, however, this time of year can be a nightmare. I recently asked a handful of women with PMDD what they most struggled with during the holidays. Here's what they shared along with some possible solutions:

Problem: Lack of Light

Once time and seasons change, it grows both colder and darker, which is great if you're a bear. If you're a woman who has to keep up with a life that doesn't stop just because it's Winter, it can be a depressing time. Lack of light is a well-known cause of sadness or Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD).

Solution: Sun Lamp

If you can't get outside into actual sunlight, both blue and full-spectrum lamps (not just bulbs by the same name, mind you, but special-purpose lamps) have been shown to have therapeutic benefits to those with SAD. Not all LED light versions have the same track record, so stick to either traditional lighting or reputable LED versions. You can find something for as little as around $30 or splurge for something that's 10x that price.

Problem: Time Management

The holidays can be filled with shopping pressures, trips to the post office, card writing, baking duties, relational pressures, visits to Santa, dinner parties, office parties, and children's parties, all added on top of already busy schedules. For women with PMDD, this can add some serious strain.

Solution: One Day at a Time

There's always so much going on and no time to get everything done. Rather than trying to do everything at once, learn to do one thing at a time. And more importantly, learn to 1) delegate 2) prioritize or 3) even better, say no!

Problem: Family

Not everyone is blessed with emotionally mature, functional family members that all get along during the holidays. More often than not, even in such families, there's that one person who just can't catch the spirit and ends up spreading discontent if not downright misery to everyone else. Whether you are surrounded by one or a dozen who irritate, control, drink too much or complain about everything, this added stress can end up ruining the holidays.

Solution: Run Away

Just kidding! At this time of year, it becomes more challenging to set boundaries with friends and family who might have "holiday expectations" of us. Are you putting up with behavior because you're afraid of the consequences or out of genuine compassion for the other? If the former, find your strength and unplug. You have every right to exclude energy vampires from your celebrations. Wish them well, but wish them to celebrate elsewhere. If you have nothing but compassion for such family members, and include them on account of your big heart, bon courage! Just make sure you know what you will tolerate and what you won't well in advance and stick to your plan so you don't end up going against yourself.

Problem: Depression, Anxiety or Fatigue

All the running around or even thinking about it can really bring on the stress this time of year. The task lists just keep growing with the deadlines steadfastly approaching bringing on high levels of anxiety. Having to subject yourself to large crowds or difficult people can increase the misery. Memories of past traumas resurface, and there seems no escape from the holiday madness. Loneliness can set in along with exhaustion as the pressure to meet expectations builds.

Solution: Rhodiola Rosea

Obviously, the thing to do is redress such difficulties with things like meditation, deep breathing, naps or extra hours of sleep. This isn't always possible. One new option I recently discovered is something my naturopathic doctor told me about. I've only just started taking it myself. It is an adaptogen herb called Rhodiola Rosea used by Olympians for endurance, but it has other benefits too. Russia and Scandinavian countries have been using it to treat anxiety, fatigue and depression for centuries.

Problem: Got a Touch of the Bah-Humbug?

Do you simply detest the holidays? Feeling more like Scrooge than Father Christmas this year? Feeling like you're letting yourself or others down? Feeling guilty for it?

Solution: Don't Judge Yourself!

You have a right to feel what you feel. It's bad enough when others put pressure on you...don't add to it by pressuring yourself. Liberate yourself from all ideas of 'should' and from traditions that hold no meaning for you. In fact, why not create a new ritual that does? One year, I spent Christmas alone hiking in the mountains. My family got over it...eventually, and I absolutely loved the peace and quiet and time to reflect.

This time of year, what we think about it, and what we experience of it doesn't have to be the cause of more stress. In fact, it can be our teacher as we learn to be kinder towards ourselves, clearer about what really matters, and design our lives with that in mind.

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