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Period Sex Is Actually Amazing —

Here's What You Should Know About It

By RashelPublished 2 years ago 9 min read
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Periods are a physiological cycle that almost everyone with a uterus goes through. Despite the fact that having sex on your period is such a common aspect of our life, religious and social taboos still exist, and there is a dearth of discussion about sexual desire during menstruation as a natural, normal function. In fact, the word "taboo" comes from the Polynesian word "tapua,"

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which means "menstrual blood." Despite its numerous taboos, period sex is something we should not be afraid to talk about, especially with our sexual partner (s). We need to make it acceptable to talk about all elements of healthy sexuality and everything that goes with it, including but not limited to having sex during periods.

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After all, the average person with a period menstruates two to seven days each month, for a total of 24–84 days per year. If you're sexually active, that's one to two months out of the year while you're on your period, which is a substantial amount of time to skip out on sex!

So, today, let's break down some of these taboos and look at how period sex has been discussed (or not) over the years, and how that dialogue is finally changing (hallelujah).

First, we met with Dr. Maria (Mafe) Peraza Godoy, a urologist and sexologist, to learn more about what occurs to our bodies during our periods and how it influences sexual activity.

Sophia Schorr-Kon

Dr. Maria Peraza Godoy, also known as Dr. Mafe, is a renowned urologist, andrologist, and Sexual Medicine Expert in Barcelona. She's also one of the cofounders of the Healthy Pleasure Group. Her commitment to altering the societal discussion about sex stems from her years of education and work as a Fellow of the European Committee of Sexual Medicine and active clinical andrologist and urologist across South America and Europe.

Michelle Hope, an activist, sexologist, and educator who has worked with many marginalized urban populations to promote a holistic approach to sexual health and sexuality, was also interviewed!

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Michelle Hope has appeared on Power105.1's The Breakfast Club, Roland Martin's Unfiltered, BET's Black Coffee, Dr. Brenda Wade's "Modern Love," and Angela Yee's "Lip Service," among other shows and podcasts.

The experts spoke with us on everything listed below — as well as general period sex advice:

• What occurs to your body and how it affects your sex drive throughout your period.

• How mental blockages can lead to physical strain, making period sex unpleasant.

• The physiological advantages of vaginal stimulation and sexual pleasure in reducing period discomfort.

• How the hazards of having sex during your period are essentially the same as they are at other times.

• Tips on how to make period sex even more pleasurable - and how to put them into practice.

So, what happens to your body when you're on your period? Let's start with a look at the physiology of the menstrual cycle and how your body changes during it.

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Estrogen and progesterone are hormones that tell the eggs in your ovaries to mature and prepare for fertilization, as well as thickening and sponging up your uterine lining in preparation for a possible pregnancy.

These hormones signal to your ovaries halfway through your menstrual cycle that it's time to release a mature egg down your fallopian tubes and into your uterus, a process known as ovulation. The end phase of post-ovulation if the egg isn't fertilized (you're not pregnant) is when your body sheds the thicker uterine lining and unfertilized egg through the vagina in a combination of blood, bacteria, and tissue, which we call the "period" – bleeding, pains. Fun!

You may actually feel more stimulated during this phase because progesterone is in charge (literally). Progesterone is known as the "hot hormone" because it can stimulate sexual desire, according to Dr. Godoy.

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"Naturally, our libido is higher owing to hormone fluctuations, which can lead to a higher sex urge for some, including myself," Hope explains.

Many women experience heightened sexual desire during menstruation as a result of the "hot hormone." Due to social stigmas, some people may feel uncomfortable or shy about having sex during their periods, which might reduce their sexual drive. Low sexual desire during menstruation, according to Dr. Godoy, "may have a social and non-biological basis" (unless their periods are debilitating due to cramps or physical discomfort). It's also possible to have sex while on your period. When someone is willing to have sex with you while you're on your period, it only adds to the pleasure because they're admitting that your body is lovely just the way it is.

Concerns about the physiological impact of sex on your period may contribute to the mental pain associated with period sex. If you're worried about the physiological effects of sex on your period, Dr. Godoy says it's the same as having sex at any other time. "Menstruation has no negative impact on sexual functioning in the body, and vice versa."

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"The mechanics will be determined by the type of sexual activity and the narratives about menstruation that the lady and her partner accept. Mechanics is not the same as physiology. Mechanics are less concerned with sexual activity, which may be affected by menstruation, and more concerned with the woman's and her partner's creation of a story and belief system around her period. Above all, the conflicts caused by restricting views about period sex "Dr. Godoy explains.

For some who find period sex physically distressing, some of that distress may be due to mental anxiety manifesting in the body. Because many of us have been taught our entire lives that menstruation is associated with pain and guilt, such narratives can be distracting and generate physical tension that hinders you from having fun. "You can't enjoy something if you're distracted," Dr. Godoy says plainly and properly.

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"One issue that interests me is how all of this stress may be translated into the body, increasing muscle tension and acting as a negative distractor during sex, impeding enjoyment. You can't appreciate something if you're worried about becoming messy, or that it might be painful "Dr. Godoy explains.

"Hypertonia as a response to fear from not letting go and enjoying the ride can create discomfort in the pelvic floor. The sexual interaction is rarely influenced by menstruation."

Menstruation is associated with pain in our childhood mental narratives, and there is a paucity of good information about the phases of menstruation. Dr. Godoy claims that "The truth is that you may have sex while on your period, but most stories don't include pleasure. It's a physiological situation that you should address in the greatest way possible, and if you have any issues, you should seek medical advice."

Aside from mental obstacles, which are real and valid, it's crucial to remember that there are a number of situations that can make period sex physically uncomfortable, and this discomfort and these disorders should never be dismissed as "only in your head." Endometriosis, adenomyosis, fibroids, and any sort of pelvic floor dysfunction can all affect the sensation of penetrative sex and/or orgasming. Intense pain caused by sex or orgasms is never normal and should never be overlooked.

For some period-wearers, however, vaginal stimulation and orgasms can help ease uncomfortable symptoms! Vaginal stimulation has been demonstrated to elicit analgesia (pain-relieving effects) in both humans and rats in various investigations.

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"Physiologically speaking, there could be some benefits to having sex on your period. Research demonstrates that vaginal stimulation has substantial analgesic properties, potentially greater than clitoral stimulation. It's amazing," says Dr. Godoy.

Another source of confusion that breeds stigmas around period sex, is a lack of understanding surrounding the risks of pregnancy and STIs. Dr. Godoy and Michelle Hope help us clear it up: Yes, there are risks, but they're the same as having sex at any other time of the month (and yes, you can still get pregnant).

"While the risk of conception is minimal, it's crucial to remember that ovulation happens a few days after menstruation ends, and sperm can dwell in the vagina for three days and fertilize an egg," Hope explains. "As a result, if it happens on the last day of menstruation and ovulation occurs within a few days, the sperm has a better chance of fertilizing an egg." "The STD risks are the same as any other time of the month, plus there are more fluids involved," Dr. Godoy noted, "so always use a condom if you're concerned and practice safe sex."

So, how can we improve period sex? It all boils down to knowing your body and what makes it feel good, as well as having a partner or partners with whom you trust and feel comfortable. "Period sex done well may serve as an exercise in self awareness," adds Dr. Godoy, "since you know your body and your wants."

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"Thankfully, more and more attempts are being made to remove this guilt, humiliation, and sorrow, as well as the filthiness around sex and menstruation," Dr. Godoy explains. "It can improve intimacy if you talk about period sex with a trusted partner. Because you need to speak more, you must be able to verbalize and feel at ease in order to have that prospective conversation with someone and feel safe and enjoy the ride."

Having the correct tools can assist if you're seeking for ways to make your period feel less "messy" during intercourse. There are various strategies to decrease or even prevent a mess, from using menstruation discs and cups to having towels on available and experimenting in the shower. Preparation and communication with yourself and your spouse are essential once again.

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A menstruation cup is a device that sits in your vaginal canal below your cervix and extends into your canal. It should not be used during intercourse, but it can be used for external stimulation. Menstrual discs, on the other hand, fit back into your vaginal fornix, which is where your vaginal canal meets your cervix; they collect period blood because they are flat and sit higher in the vaginal canal; they can be worn during penetrative intercourse, digital play, or with toys. "If you are not ready to attempt a disc, you must remove your tampon prior to sex, and I would recommend laying down a towel and bathing after sex," Hope advises.

Other suggestions include having lots of towels on hand and having sex in the shower (assuming your shower is large enough and you're not slipping).

It's not only about penetration when it comes to period sex. In fact, sex isn't all that it's cracked up to be. On your period, you don't have to limit your self-love. Hope encourages masturbation as a kind of self-love, and what better time to do so than during your menstrual cycle?

"I encourage self-pleasure or masturbation as a means to decrease cramps, elevate mood, and reduce tension in the body if you are not ready or able to have full-on penetrative intercourse," Hope explains. "Oral sex can be consenting and solely focus on the clitoris area, for example," adds Dr. Godoy, "and the mechanics and dynamics of the sexual encounter will depend on each person and their agreement with their partner."

Finally, whether or not you enjoy sex during your period should be a joint decision between you and your partner. We are normalizing conversation about female body processes and sexuality by opening up the conversation about period sex.

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About the Creator

Rashel

Rashel is an investigative journalist for Time, The Atlantic and other magazines.

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