Nola Darling vs. Feminism

In my first go round of college, back in the late 90s, I deemed myself a feminist. I'd been raped and assaulted in very close proximity, and then I got this epiphany and decided to treat guys "like they treated me..."

Spike Lee's debut film She's Gotta Have It was something I avoided most of my adulthood, then decided to watch after hearing that Netflix was putting out a series based on the said film. Nola Darling, the film and series protagonist, or even antagonist, depending on how you view her, put me through an array of emotions. Spike Lee waited 31 years and then decided to release this series, which is fine. I don't care much for this guy in person, I met him, he was a tad unpleasant, but that's what comes with most artists. I think at times, he's a genius behind the camera. This go round with this series, I sat and pondered on his view of feminism. I paid close attention to who he chose to play Nola, and her men. The men look very similar to the ones from the film, but this Nola is more attractive. Thing is, her attitude remains the same. It brought me back to my little pocket of time doing what I will now call "Pulling a Nola Darling," uh, minus the girlfriend (though in frustration, I did consider it once). Anyhoo, the difference between myself and Nola is the opening of my eyes to consequences. She kept reiterating how these guys thought they owned her. I on that same note, took notice of how I felt in the aftermath. It only felt like power in the beginning. It became absolutely no fun when they came looking for me with that look in their eyes. They weren't there to talk. They weren't even my friends... the final episode of the series was painted with such a rose colored tint that it left me speechless. I couldn't tell if I was annoyed, angered... I just didn't know what to say! Thing is, it did get me thinking about my female friends and some of their views on feminism. It got me thinking about books that I've read written by feminists. Their views are skewed. It's not to say that what they believe is wrong, but their views do sometimes contradict themselves. Almost all of them are alright with sleeping with someone else's man. That's not power. It's not powerful and both parties are wrong. Alice Walker, yes, The Color Purple Alice Walker was once married to a white man with whom she conceived her daughter, but she left him to "find her blackness." I guess I get it, but it feels arrogant and manipulative. She didn't consider the endgame. I read her daughter's book and she comes off as a spoiled, entitled biracial Jewish princess who is now also screaming feminism... Now Maya Angelou on the other hand, was married to a Greek man with whom she conceived her son with, and he was simply an asshole. Because of the era in which this happened, she thought twice with men outside her race every single time after that because there was psychological mind games there and who needs that?! She too screamed feminism, but in her case, I totally get it.

My husband asked me yesterday what my full opinion was on She's Gotta Have It the series and I was still a bit at a linguistic standstill. I don't think I have the words.... Nola annoyed me in the movie. Nola intrigued me in the beginning in the series, but then she just came off as spoiled and a little too entitled for someone who was still struggling to make ends meet.

I want to drop the word feminism. I want other people to do it as well, and not just with the world feminism, but all ism's... it's a coward's way out. It's a box to crawl into and hold above your head when you fuck up. Ism's are why people are always at each other's necks. No one knows how to just be! I am black and I don't believe in revolution because to revolve is to go in a circle, which is a constant in society, but I do believe in evolution because to evolve is to build, rise up, create. I don't think people are aware of that. REVOLUTION sounds so powerful when one yells it out... EVOLUTION is equated with crazy science speculations... so, there's that.

I think we as a society are too comfortable on that emotional ride we call life. We all need to slow down and to quote the Beastie Boys, "open up ya ears and clean out your eyes." Just a thought...