My Stance On Feminism

Why is there toxicity in this equality?

My Stance On Feminism

I'll be honest, and you can laugh or judge. But I never really knew what feminism was, and I'm a woman. I see the term used for how people identify and I was casual to it. I used my context clues to know it was someone that was apart of a movement to have rights for women. I knew of it, but I never really talked about feminism, nor explored the topic with a lot of my friends.

I had a conversation earlier this week with a friend of mine about the idea of the movement and how it has gone to an extreme to belittle various women's choices within the social movement.

Before, I didn't know what feminism meant in an exact definition . Now I don't know what feminism is supposed to mean now in this day. What is it supposed to mean to other women now? How or why has the term changed within the movement and the positivity has turned to toxicity? How come the definition doesn't match what's being projected?

I'm going to cover two topics about the female body that I discussed with my friend since these are neutral concerns that I thought about in feminism. Since I had never known about these problems within feminism.

It's like women have to do specific things to be qualified as a feminist. Which all I thought was required was to want equality in individuality for women.

To be perfect to strive for balanced imperfection. As in wanting to do the opposite of what is a social norm. It's understandable, I'm glad there is a gradual lax in making sure women are not pressured, and they can do what they want.

Yet, if there is something minor that changes for an individual idea. There's slander.

Body Hair

From growing body hair and shaving body hair. Its not exactly a form for retaliation. But, it is a step out of the cultured cosmetic routines that no matter your beauty regime is, you are beautiful with body hair. Personally, I view it the choice as an individual and it doesn't have to do with feminism. Nothing is wrong with choices that don't have to be what society wants in a woman. There isn't an option that says you have be the exact kind of feminist that has to pick to shave or not to shave. It is nice that shaving is no longer viewed as a intense beauty regime that legs, arms, pits, or the vaginal area doesn't have to be shaved raw in order to be attractive. Yet if a woman decides she wants to shave again, that makes her a terrible feminist? That's been a topic I've seen asked to other body positivity models and it's a tricky situation there. It's sad that feminism makes body positivity complicated.

I think people forget the fact that it's a woman's body and she can do whatever she wants to with it.


I have never given birth to children so I don't know the experience of giving birth. However, I don't recall giving birth was only supposed to be vaginal, and it cannot be a C-section no matter the medical problem. Why is there shame towards women that they give birth through a different way that had to happen through a critical situation in labor? Why is it so bad to have a healthy child born though a C-section? So if the woman has health complications, that's not accepted and she's slandered for that? It's not feminist that the mother had to agree to endure an emergency surgical situation that she had to do in order to guarantee the survival of her child? That had me disgusted to hear about women shamed for that. It's not right to judge someone over a C-section because it is deemed to be the incorrect way to give birth.

This idea of striving for independent imperfection is disillusioned.

It's like nothing is going to be deemed to be correct way to be a feminist.

Choices for the body, ANY choices for the body should not make a woman any less feminine. People are allowed to live their lives accordingly. I didn't think being a feminist was supposed to follow strict rules like it's a prestigious, pretentious county club.

It should always be accepted if you grow your body hair out or if there is a serious health choice to make for your body. But why is there belittlement over body choices like that? Why does that antagonistic nitpicking have to exist when it shouldn't? It makes me uncomfortable as any human being would be to hear rude and degrading comments made to another human being.

Final Thoughts

As I said before, I never really got involved in topics regarding feminism, I stayed out of it. My awareness is changed now to be aware of these tiny little nitpicking problems that are made from rude people that proclaim about "the right way".

As a woman I'm proud that there are strives taken over the recent years. As there has been a growing number of people that will listen to concerns. That the times are changing and the stress of inequality bullshit is slowly diminishing by the powerful individuals in feminism.

I'm aware that problems will always occur to women in any field, but within it's own social movement? That's not right.

I feel that we have to try harder to stop this anti ideology toxicity in our own social movement. But in turn we also need to calm down and quit making rude, ridiculous assumptions that have no meaning except just being mean.

Meet in the middle and make a compromise. That shouldn't be to hard right?

Samantha Parrish
Samantha Parrish
Read next: The State
Samantha Parrish

I'm here to teach you something new or expand your mind in a neutral aspect.

Instagram: parrishpassages

Oh and I wrote a book called, Inglorious Ink.

See all posts by Samantha Parrish