Monday Musings: Why Do Women Compete?

I've worked in many different fields, with a lot of different teams. There is one consistency I've found across the board (not just in my professional life) that still irks me. Women in the workplace are more likely to compete with the other women than with the men; at least, more directly. It's 2019, we have the #MeToo movement, we have body positivity; and yet day-to-day, we still tear each other down. We're catty, petty, and quick to push down another woman's power because it threatens our own. But why?

Ingrained Insecurities

We, as women, are taught from a young age, in one way or another, to criticize ourselves constantly. We are told we aren't thin enough, not smart enough, not this or that enough. However, when we decide to operate against the notion that we are less than, we're seen as cocky. It's a no-win situation. Some of us find a way to cope and seek that self-confidence. On the other side, there are women in this world who never find it for themselves.

These are the women who suffer internally. They constantly feel like they don't measure up. So, when you shine brighter than them, they don't measure up and they feel the need to push you down to the level they THINK they, themselves, are at. Women who are confident and secure don't need to diminish the light of the other women around them. They will embrace that power and work to continue to let it shine.

Passive Aggression

As women, we are not supposed to express our frustrations directly. If we do, regardless of how we intend it, we are seen as aggressive and a bitch. Therefore, we start following those behaviors we seen in other women. We start talking behind each other's backs, we undermine each other, and even try to sabotage each other.

These aren't the traits we should represent as women. We should be able to find a way to communicate our needs, concerns, and frustrations without it being seen as an attack. If we bolster one another's power, it will just allow us to grow. Criticism is a necessary part of getting the feedback for us to become better people. Let them criticize you, to your face. Stop the trend of pushing other women down behind their backs.

Limited Opportunities

It's no secret that there isn't quite equality between the sexes yet. I went to business school and many of my classes had only two to five women in them. This lack of opportunities means that women are inherently competing with each other for those spots that will never even be offered to each other. That just accepts the limitations in our opportunities.

Instead, be great, be powerful, and build up the women around you so that more opportunities will be opened up to all of us. Amazing women can surround themselves with other amazing women. It's doesn't need to be a competition. If we stop this, we can make it better for our collective because we'll be an unstoppable pack of amazing women.