Modern Birth.....Is This the New Dark Age?

Last night I was sitting at a table with 12 women from all walks of life, just getting together for a monthly night out away from our spouses and children. Someone at the table had announced that she was expecting her first. Out came the hugs and congrats as this new mom to be shared this extremely exciting news. Following that came the birth stories, the what to expect, advice, and so on. As I was sitting there listening and sharing my own story I noticed that over two thirds of the women there had had a c-section or multiple c-sections. Most of them explained afterwards that they were told it was an emergency situation but in the end it did not have to be done at all. It made me really ponder my own journey of birth and sense of sadness crept over me.

I, from the moment I found out I was expecting, researched all options. I mean really all options from natural to medicated. Do you get a doula? Or a midwife? What about a home birth (but I live in the middle of nowhere)? Is that even safe? The more I talked about it with people the more overwhelming advice and stories came out crowding my mind. In the end, I settled on a hospital birth with a doula and my husband as coaches. I had my birth plan all set up and ready to execute.

Sure enough, as most first births go, everything went awry and thankfully I had an experienced birth coach with me otherwise my husband and I would have been completely bulldozed by the hospital staff. I had been leaking fluid for about a week when my doula suggested maybe going into the hospital to get checked out. She assured me that most likely they would tell me to go back home and try some natural methods of induction. My husband and I casually and naively walked into the hospital at 7 PM for a quick "visit" before we met up with friends for supper plans. We were immediately admitted and out came the medical terminology and the concern that the baby was in harm's way. Followed by the induction medication and the threats of do I want this baby to survive when I tried to question if this was necessary. There were no serious symptoms that there might be a looming infection, just a high heart rate which, under the pretenses, I would say was warranted.

I'll spare you the gory details but at the end of the whole 22-hour parade, I was sitting in recovery with my beautiful little girl.

I overheard the delivery nurse filling in the nurse coming on shift that my water hadn't actually broke and it turned out there was no need for me to be induced. I mean, it's hard to argue with them when your holding this beautiful creation in your arms and you're so tired you cannot process anything. As the months go on and I reflect, I find myself getting angry at the fact I was robbed of the experience I wanted and deserved. In reality, I was two hours away from them saying it has to be a c-section and it still would have been an unnecessary move.

I will own up to that I was along for every decision and said yes to every next move on the chessboard but I would stress that the way it was presented to me I felt bullied and scared into those decisions. I am someone who had done some research and watched documentaries explaining how North America has turned birth into a routine procedure and still felt helpless in the matter. How is it that something women have down for thousands of years has turned into such a routine operation and the attitude is just get that thing out. Granted, some women are fully on board with that but as I sat and listened to woman after woman tell their stories at the table the underlying theme was most women leave scared and confused.

Even in the recovery process, you go in at six weeks for your check up and they do a quick one minute scan and clear you for all regular duties. How many women are told they are good to go and then spend the next forty years of their life leaking fluids or worse having severe prolapses when if they were recommended to a pelvic floor physiotherapist this could have all been prevented? I, being a bit of a fitness freak and doing the research and even though the actual birth of my daughter was clear skies, knew the risks and sought a therapist out. To my dismay, I needed some work done and she was outraged that I had been cleared to start running and lifting again. I am so thankful that I had taken some knowledge into my own hands and went with my gut. Again, how many women are not aware of these risks and options and live in silent pain or embarrassment.

We are living in the years of women's rights and movements on all fronts and it is time to stop treating birth like a routine dental procedure and start giving women the educational tools and guidance to make decisions to write their birth story the way they want it to be told. If you compare North America to the rest of the world in some ways we are living in the modern dark ages of birth but with some technology thrown in to make it appear we are ahead of the curve. Granted, c-sections are needed and there will always be emergency situations but let's learn how to sift through the rubble and the grey areas and truly empower women's birth rights.