Mansplaining to Men

A heated conversation in a bustling city pub inspired me to write this article. I'm fed up of explaining to other men my views on feminism. Too many men see the ever common discussions on sexism and women's rights as an attack on their masculinity. But this simply isn't the case.

Tonight, in a mix gendered group, a lively debate was held on the appropriateness of men approaching women in a university library or the gym. I proceeded to 'mansplain' why it's not.

Many of the readers of this article—just as many of my friends did—will take this as an attack on the male gender. But it is not. It is intended to improve the safety of our female sisters, friends, and girlfriends.

The majority of men are innocent, well mannered and impeccably polite individuals. This should go without saying. However, the statistical fact remains that the vast majority of incidents of harassments, attacks, and abuse are perpetrated by men onto women. For instance, a recent survey looking at crime in England and Wales shockingly found that one in five women have been the victim of a gender-based attack.

And it is this statistical fact that we must bear in mind when considering this issue.

I don't want to live in a society where me walking home along the street behind a woman is perceived threateningly. And just as innocent men are perversely judged in this way, it is nothing compared to the animalistic fear felt by women on a daily basis. No one should accept living in a society where our fellow women are celebrating survival after a simple visit to the pub or theatre.

Taking the example of approaching a woman in the setting of a gym or library, as seems commonplace. We would all think of ourselves or our friends doing this as a completely innocent act. However, we all too easily forget the daily experience reported by women.

If you're bombarded with the news of violence and oppressive acts towards your gender, it seems to me totally natural to become guarded, weary, and assuming of any uninvited towards you. And so a totally innocent and friendly conversation starter or advance from man to women can easily be perceived as threatening. And understanding this is imperative.

In writing this article, I am fearful that I have been patronising to women. Some of the strongest and most inspiring people I know are women. And so patronising is not at all what I attend to achieve. Rather, I hope to begin a non-confrontational dialogue of how we should treat each other with the goal of fostering a more safe, inclusive, and frankly, fun society.