Life Choices

Roe vs. Wade. A touchy subject just now.

But it was also a touchy subject back when it all started in 1973, this question of abortion.

I was in college at the time. A religiously affiliated college, so the topic was argued quite heatedly on several occasions, with the ministry totally against all abortions for any reason, and many of the young women in favor of abortions for a variety of reasons.

The discussions weren't limited to the religious community. Roe vs. Wade was all we heard on the news or on the street. Between the abortion question, the idea of a birth control pill was still hotly discussed--even thought the pill had come out years before--especially with the new abortion ruling.

Imagine! Women could take the pill and go have unprotected sex with no concerns. And if there was a little oops? Ah... You could just have an abortion. No problem. Free sex without complications. Almost like men...

The media went nuts.

Before we go any further, let me introduce myself.

I'm a writer of romantic fiction. I am not a legal advisor of any sort. Nor any I in the medical field. I don't write for the media and have no designs on any political position.

I'm just me. An author of several fiction books. So anything I write here is strictly my opinion. Take it or leave it as you see fit. It is not my intention to judge anyone or point fingers. I am not on this world to judge anyone else. That's above my pay grade, so to speak.

I do not support the use of abortion as a birth control method. I feel sex should be confined to marriage. Again, this is my opinion. If you're going to go play, make sure you both use protection if you don't want to be surprised with a pregnancy. Don't be irresponsible.

That being said, there are other reasons why I would support it.

A friend of mine recently posted the old saw, if a woman doesn't want to get pregnant, don't have sex. Simple enough.

He then added, because men are known to be so accepting of the word "No."

So what about the question of rape? Or incest?

When I was growing up in the mid-west, before Roe vs. Wade. girls had to carry this child to term. It was then taken away to be adopted, with any luck. Sometimes the church helped place an unwanted child, especially in the Catholic community where I lived.

Well, usually.

The fact is, women are going to have abortions if they are desperate enough, as they always have. If they can't go to a clinic to do it legally, there are several methods I've heard of for terminating a pregnancy yourself. Most are no safer for the mother than for the baby.

Yes, some of the girls and young women--older one's,too--carried those babies to term.

But a significant number of them found a way to abort, either DIY or through some shady back street clinic.

Either way, many of these girls were emotionally scarred from this ordeal, whether they carried to term or not. No matter which way they turned, there was social stigma attached.

If she was raped, it was probably her fault. What was she doing out at that hour of night? What was she wearing? How was she acting to attract such attention? What did she do to get herself raped?

For some reason, there was never a question of the man being at fault, except that he was weak when presented with whatever she was guilty of. Yeah, equality...

If she terminated the pregnancy, she was shunned because she had killed her baby. If she carried it to term, she had to listen to the whispers about her being unmarried and pregnant, see the heads shaking in disgust, and have her friends banned from seeing her. Parents didn't want their kids associating with that kind of girl.

So what was the answer?

I don't know. It seemed like a "damned if you do, damned if you don't" situation.

And what about women who's lives are threatened if they continue a pregnancy due to a medical issue?

All right, I know a lot of you are thinking, "How often does that happen?"

If it happens only once, someone has to make that choice. Do I risk my life to try to bring this child into the world? Or do I terminate the pregnancy, lose the child, and hope to save my own life?

The question is never easy to answer. It isn't always a matter of right or wrong, black or white. We're dealing with shades of gray.

There are no easy answers, no matter what anyone else tells me. Don't even get me started on the whole religious thing. Just don't. I've argued this more times than you can imagine, from both sides of the fence.

On the other hand, don't try to get into the "it isn't even human until it's so many weeks old." Once conceived, that little bit of matter has no choice but to become a human being. It can't be anything else. Tell me I'm wrong.

One thing I do feel strongly about is the role of government in this whole affair.

We already have more laws than you can shake a stick at, and many of them go unenforced, or trying to enforce them isn't working. Look at the "war on drugs." And as far as men who don't support their kids, look at all of them who go to jail for not paying child support.

Do you think another law holding them responsible is going to help this situation?

Politicians, stay out of our personal lives. This decision is not one anyone takes lightly, whether legal or illegal. But making it illegal leads to the possibility of severe medical issues from the DIY attempts of women trying to terminate a pregnancy.

And what about the fathers of these unborn babies?

If, through coercion, rape, or some need to be macho and not use protection, they have engendered this child, will they be held accountable? And if so, how is this law to be enforced? The same way child support is?

The questions and arguments go on and on.

Should abortion be used as a birth control method?

In my opinion, absolutely not.

Do I think there is a place for it?

Yes.

Should government get involved in an issue that has moral, religious, and personal physical, mental, and emotional ramifications?

Positively not.

Black and white?

Right or wrong?

No. Only shades of gray.

(Opinions expressed here are only opinions.)