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Inner Feminist vs. Job

The Struggle

By Lara ScottPublished 6 years ago 3 min read

I love my job. Not in the sarcastic sense either. I actually love it.

Naturally, there are times I’d rather be watching Supernatural or Rick and Morty or The L Word in my undies at home. Then again, wouldn’t we all?

But I kick ass at my job! Which is astonishing considering the kind of company I work for. I’m a Learning and Development Coordinator for an international corporation in the marine industry. The majority of our clients are the top 1%, and our industry is DOMINATED by white men. Not only that, but this company is OWNED by one of the wealthiest, most disliked-but-very-successful-and-wealthy white families in the United States.

Yes, I’m caucasian as well, but I have basic moral differences with the majority of our clients. As the Button poet, Denice Frohman, said, “You’re right, we do have different beliefs. You want to destroy anything that’s different, I want to preserve it.” I identify with that statement so much!

At work, I’m the only millennial, one of 9 women in this entire company, and the only LGBT woman. We have one gay man out on the West Coast, but he lays super low and hasn’t married his partner due to what it might do to his relationships with his clients. We’ve had people NOT come to our company because of what the owners of the company represent and stand for.

It took me quite a while to come to terms with that my childhood dreams were to “fight the patriarchy” and rise above to accomplish great things…and while I’m kind of in bed with a deep-seeded patriarchal company, I’m still kicking ass. In the 14 months that I’ve been in this company, I’ve been promoted twice, designed and published over 200 pages of content and materials that have bettered the company, and I’m third-in-command regarding our client care. Sure, as a kid, I thought I would go into politics and prove that girls are better. As an adult, I took a salaried job where I could do what I love and evolve this toxic corporate culture into a more progressive, LESS toxic one.

My current project is disassembling the internal sales department structure and rebuilding it. Salesmen by nature are Type A, pains in the asses. Honestly, I kind of love it. They end up calling this 23-year-old girl (me) in the corporate office to find the answer to their problems, or the best resources for their clients. Or when they go over my head to our Global Directors, they still get referred back to me. Sure, could be my own variation of Little Man Syndrome, but I’m pretty okay with it.

By this time next year, we will have a sales staff that is trained, independent, and held accountable for their actions. That will be accomplished through the combined powers of my boss and myself – with a little HR help. That’s progress no matter how you spin it.

So no, it’s not the ideal situation, and sometimes the feminist in me RAGES at the shit I have to deal with. But I love it. And I’m going to spend the first 5-10 years of my professional career getting this company whipped into shape before I move on to my next challenge.


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