I Was Body Shamed By My Parents Just A Few Hours After Giving Birth

It was only a mere few hours after I had given birth to my son and I was already body shamed.

By my own parents.

My dad asked “Why do you still look pregnant?” My mom agreed. She doesn’t remember having such a big belly after giving birth to me and my sisters. She apparently bounced back the minute after we were delivered.

Now my parents have brought us up with a healthy body image, my mom has never been on a diet and never made remarks about our weight growing up.

It was a seemingly innocent question and I know they didn’t mean anything by it. But the seemingly innocent questions tend to have the biggest repercussions.

I have a healthy body image but…

I’ve been lucky enough to have a semblance of my old body back. I still have a pregnancy line that cuts through the middle of my stomach but for the most part, I’m back to my pre-baby weight.

But there are days when I’m still down on my body because it’s just not the same as it used to be.

I have cellulite and I don’t think my boobs or stomach will ever look as it did pre-baby.

I’ve always grown up with a pretty healthy body image but comments like the one my parents made still hurt especially when I’ve just come out of the most intense and terrifying experience my body can ever experience.

Vulnerability and tiredness does not make for a strong mindset.

Fortunately, I’m not one to take those comments to heart. People can say what they want about my body. In today’s society, it can be easy to fall into the trap of focusing on what our bodies look like rather than appreciating it for what it can do. I’m happy that I’m able to focus on the latter and be grateful for my body, stretch marks and all.

Bouncing back does not just happen

The myth that our bodies will just bounce back after pregnancy is probably the most damning lie of all time. It certainly doesn’t make us feel good about our bodies when we still look pregnant after 6 months nor does it make us want to exercise if it’s supposed to just return to its original glory.

It’s been 10 months but I’m back to my pre-baby weight but I didn’t just bounce back.

I’ve been going to bootcamp for the last two months, breastfeeding, lifting what’s now become a 30 lb carseat while juggling grocery bags at the same time, missing meals because I’ve lost track of time yet at same time eating more than I ever have.

The myth of the bounce back doesn’t just happen. Yes, some of us are fortunate enough to have genetics on our side but we still work our asses off after pregnancy to get even a semblance of our bodies back.

I appreciate my body so much more after giving birth

I never fully appreciated my body until after I gave birth.

My body was able to create a human out of nothing, keep said human alive for 9 months and then deliver him into this world. That’s only the first WOW moment I’ve had since becoming a mother.

• My body knows how much breastmilk to produce based on how much my son drinks.

• While breastfeeding is not a proven or effective form of birth control, my body has postponed ovulation, to a degree, so that I don’t have my period while breastfeeding (I knew my body wouldn’t be so cruel to make me experience both at the same time.

• My body produces additional antibodies when I’m sick to prevent my son from getting sick or when he’s sick

My body, my body, my body.

I never realized the capabilities and the full potential of my body and mind until I had to give birth, and if I may add, naturally.

If we can’t see the beauty and appreciate our body for the true miracle it created and everything it does after giving birth, then when can we appreciate and love it?

Nobody has the right to tell you what your body should be

Societal and cultural norms make us believe that our bodies pre-baby are more beautiful than post-baby. Instead of encouraging women to focus on self-healing and spending quality time with the newest member of our families, society makes us believe that the first thing we should focus on is how we can get our bodies back.

We feel shame and anger when we look in the mirror and there are stretch marks, a belly pooch, saggy breasts from hours of breastfeeding, or when we can’t even pull our pre-pregnancy jeans past our knees. We think of our body as nothing but imperfect, that it’s something we need to improve.

But it’s not.

The transition to motherhood is a hard one without having to worry about what our body looks like after squeezing a 7 lb human out of your body.

Nobody has the right to tell you what your body should look like regardless of whether you’ve given birth or not.

Not your partner, society, friends, or your parents.

It’s time we realize how beautiful our bodies are, and not in terms of appearance but for what it can do — bring life into this world and allow us to enjoy ours.

And I love mine so much more for everything it’s allowed me to do, continues to allow me to do and for what it has given me in the last 10 months.

This story originally appeared on Medium