I’m A Survivor Not A Vitim

I was 5 years old when my grandmother’s oldest brother first sexually assaulted me. I was just a baby. I was about to be in the 1st grade. So it’s summer time. I’m running around having fun with my toys just bein a kid , my uncle is home watching me - as usual. I go to use the bathroom and handle my business , as I come out the bathroom my uncle comes into my room and try’s to touch me. Now, I’m a little girl but I’m very smart. Mommy always told me if someone touches your Special temple down there you fight them and get away. I always remembered that , my uncle puts his hands in my pants and say come here. I jumped up scared and said NO don’t touch me , I ran back into the bathroom and locked the door. After he left me alone and went to take a nap I leave the bathroom to go into the living room and try to stay calm and watch tv. He came into the living room and grabs me , puts me on the floor and tries to pry my legs open. I try so hard to push him away but it doesn’t work, Something deep inside tells me - USE YOUR LEGS USE YOUR LEGS - so I kick him. I get up and run into my mommy’s room and lock the door. My mom gets home, and I stay with her, the next day comes and I’m at the park with my friends playing around my other uncle comes and picks me up to drop me home. I go upstairs on the second floor into the kitchen to eat my food , after I’m done I go downstairs to the first floor where me , my mommy , my grandpa and grandma lives. I go inside I change and go to watch tv. My uncle who tried to touch me the other day comes in to the house and calls me into the kitchen. He’s sitting in a chair near the kitchen table with his private out he says come here. I say NO- he comes and grabs me pushes me to my knees and shoves his private part into my mouth and forces me to suck it , he keeps his big hands on my head to keep me from removing my head. I don’t know what to do other then to bite him. So I bite him and run away , I hid in my mommy’s room and lock the door and wait until she gets home. When she gets home I finally decide to tell her what’s been happening when everybody leaves me with this so called uncle of mine. Meanwhile he is in the kitchen and me and my mommy are prepping my shower. As the showers running I spill the beans and she looks shocked, she says are you sure baby? I said yes mommy he did it many times. So I stay in the bathroom and take my shower while she goes into the kitchen and talks to him, all I hear is low yelling , when I get out the shower and get dressed I come out of the bathroom and see him quit red eyes. I went into my mommy’s room and went to sleep. The next day...... he was gone, all of his belongings he came with were gone. I never seen him ever again. Today is June 17,2020 and it’s been 12 years since this all happened. 2 years ago I found out that he got cancer and died. I am 18 going on 19 in 1 month and a half , and I am not a victim............ But A Surviver.