I am tired of being labelled as a strong black woman.

If I were to tell you that I carry the entire world on my back would you believe me? Well, that is how it feels right now. Being a woman already has its dangers accompanied to it but a black woman? That is on another level and an open door to being a target. A target to be told that you should or should not do this or that. A target to be scrutinized about everything you said or did not say. Even with our own personal struggles we still must deal with what the world wants to dump on our shoulders.

I am tired of being labelled as strong black woman. This has implied that I as a black woman can deal with more than what I am already dealing with. That I as a black woman can take on everyone else’s struggles and demons. That I as a black woman can be at the frontline of the battle that we are currently facing of equality and our lives holding value like every other race. That I as a black woman I am physically able to deal with pain inflicted upon me. As black women, are we not allowed to feel and be vulnerable and need help like other people? Can I be treated with gentleness and kindness without having to suffer first? The questions are endless because society has built this façade that black women are strong so we can handle every and anything. Yes, we can be and maybe it is because we are a resilient group who do not give up and if we fail, we get back up and try again. But this notion of confusing and intertwining hard work with being strong is dangerous. In the workplace we are given labels such as aggressive or loud if we simply try to passionately explain our views and thoughts. In majority of African households, if you are the first-born daughter then basically you are the mother when mum is away no matter your age, even when dealing with schoolwork, college or full-time employment. In relationships, some men will make you suffer first before they can deem you a good life partner. We must tolerate pain because we are apparently strong and can handle it? We must accept the bear minimum and struggle before we can be deemed as worthy? This is all a lot to deal with on top of our monthly cycle. The narrative that we are strong black women needs to be stopped. We have literally been forced to accept and adapt to the everyday micro aggressions and oppressions that we are faced with daily. We are not superwomen. We are black women who are worthy of pampering, tenderness and being catered to. We are black women who deserve the same urgency that a white woman gets when she’s in the care of medical professionals and when the police are called.

If people want to call us strong, it should be done to describe the impact that we have in our families and the world through our creativity and art. For our constant words of affirmation, wisdom and our power. Not for when we must deal with abuse and other peoples struggles and transgressions. I am not suggesting to instead label black women weak and uncapable but do not place a burden on us with a this “strong” label but simply treat black women on the same human level as others are treated. Do not use the colour of our skin and the fact that we are women to conclude that we will and can take on all the negatives of the world and its people.