How to Be a Lazy Feminist

I would like to start this off by saying that I use the words feminine, female, and woman as ways to express these abstract life areas that are more nurturing and “earthy” by nature, and in no way do I intend to place people in boxes or claim to have any kind of superior knowledge of anyone else’s process of what or who they identify with. I use these terms not to be gender specific or to classify people—instead I use them because, at this point in time, I have no other way to explain the concepts I am about to talk about without turning this into a thousand page essay. I am open to ideas and suggestions on how to approach these subjects in a more enlightened way if anyone has anything they would like to contribute. I am aware of the unfairness that is associated with society putting labels on people and making them choose a specific identity. I am also aware this is shifting and I am on the path of learning more—please help me learn!

These days, it’s easy to be a feminist, and you certainly don’t need to be of the female gender to be such a person. A feminist is someone who practices feminism, and feminism, as defined in the dictionary is “the advocacy of women's rights on the basis of the equality of the sexes.” Anyone of any gender or sexual orientation can practice feminism, and we can be a little lazy (from time to time) while we do it!

I know that, in the past, if I were to think of myself as a feminist, I would instantly see images of myself angrily marching in the streets, demanding equality with my hand painted sign—“F#$% the Patriarchy”—boldly splayed across the poster board. While I do acknowledge my anger over the injustice and inequality that is present in the world, I choose to use the desire for peace and justice to be the fuel that drives me forward. I’m not keen on perpetuating angry sentiments or raging against the machine as my modus operandi—although I do enjoy it on occasion, so don’t get me wrong—I know we all have our ways of dealing and I fully support anyone who is stepping forward to be game changers and reality disruptors. Whether it be anger or peace that propels, the important thing is that change is inevitable when people choose to stand up for what they feel and know to be right.

I’ve recently realized there are many ways to be an active feminist while going about daily life. In every moment of our lives, we are constantly making choices and being given opportunities to direct our energy, either one way or the other. I present to you easy ways to strengthen your role as leader in gender equality, with bonus ideas on how to be more racially aware and supportive at the same time. Because, as we know, every social issue is connected to the next, therefore when we champion one, we must do our part to bring light to the interwoven issues that have perhaps been overshadowed by the more visually prominent issues.

1. Listen to female musicians.

This is one of my favourite ways to be a feminist…I make a great effort to find female musicians whose music I connect with, creating playlists to share in dance journey’s I host and on the internet. Recently, I put a call out to my friends asking them for their favourite female music artists, and I was flooded with names of women who kick @ss in the music scene. I made a great playlist for everyday listening featuring some of these artists. Find it here.

2. Support female visual artists.

Many female artists offer workshops to share their gifts with the world and I have for the past eight years of my life taken as many of these workshops as I have been able to. Participating in these workshops not only has moved me along in my own artistic skills and confidence, they have also been a great opportunity to meet and connect with other amazingly inspiring female artists within my own communities as well as all over the world. Some of the female artists that I am repeatedly inspired by are: Autumn Skye Morrison, Erica Pang & Crystal Charlotte Easton. If you get a chance to participate in workshops with any of these artists, it’s a great opportunity to support them in their creative endeavours while giving yourself the gift of personal empowerment. Also, just check out their work and share it with other people in your life who enjoy conscious art. Whether you are an art buyer or not, someone in your life is.

3. Spend your dollars at female owned & operated small businesses.

I’m an owner of small business and a co-owner in a co-operative business that are both fully owned and operated by women. We are not exclusive towards men, yet our mission tends to attract those of the feminine persuasion. In my daily shopping & service needs, I try my best to purchase from and hire services of those businesses that are owned and operated by women. I do this because, to me, it has seemed like since the beginning of the corporate/business world, men ruled industry and made it challenging for women to break into the business world on their own accord, often being mistreated on their path to success within business. I currently call two communities home and am happy to say that many of the small businesses in both towns are owned and operated by women, and so these are the ones I support the most. I want to see them succeed and to know they are supported by their sisters in business. Apart from the two businesses, I am involved in Green Soul Organics & Earth Mama Love Kitchen Collective. Some of my favourite local female owned businesses to support are: West & Co., Dark Side Chocolate, Rare Bird Bookshop, Jipsi Tree, Virgin Hair, Rusty Rooster, Whole Glow Cafe, The Hearts Garden, Coastal Bliss Yoga, Studio One, Janine Croxall Holistic Therapy & Tofino Herb Company. Do some investigative work in your own community and find those shops and services that are female owned and operated. Spend your dollars where your heart is.

4. Read books & poetry by women writers.

I’m a writer myself (obviously) and I find it very inspiring to drink in the works of other women. When I’m at the bookstore or the library I always look for books by women. Not only do I connect more deeply with the words of women, I feel it is extremely important to give these creators a better chance at being heard in the world. Some of my most currently cherished female writers are: Janne Robinson, rupi kaur, Monika Carless, Miriam Toews & bell hooks.

“No black woman writer in this culture can write "too much". Indeed, no woman writer can write "too much"...No woman has ever written enough.” ― bell hooks

5. Attend events run by women.

Whether it be a workshop, a concert, a festival, or a public speaking event, I love attending female-run events. I find the energy of events that are run by females to be grounding and nurturing—both of these energies are crucial to shifting the current state of our society to one where women are honoured and respected as they need to be. I recently attended a community screening of the film Amplify Her which is a documentary focusing on the topic of female DJs and music producers. There was a female photographer shooting the event and a dance party afterwards which featured several different local female DJs as well as one female DJ from the film, and a non-alcoholic elixir & snack bar, you guessed it—run by a woman. The great thing about this event was that there was male presence not only in the audience, but as support for the refreshment booth and the DJs—not to mention that the film itself was co-directed by a man and a woman. It was a great balance, and holistic in the sense that it showed how crucial it is for men to show up and support the women as we rise.

6. Choose to use your voice to speak up for those still oppressed.

I am a woman of white privilege and I choose to use my voice to speak about issues that some other women may fear doing because they either feel they won’t be heard or they will be ridiculed or threatened by those in “power.” I cannot speak for another woman, but I can speak up in support of them when I witness injustice of any kind whether it be based in sexist or racist behaviour. If you are a woman of privilege, it is wise to practice this art of speaking up so that we may all one day be seen and treated as equals.

7. Listen to female created & hosted podcasts.

Finally, I get to talk about Oprah! Oprah recently started a podcast called Super Soul Conversations. I’ve listened to quite a few and truly enjoy her insights as well as the wisdom her guests bring to the table. Another recently discovered podcast that I’ve been eating up is The Secret Life of Canada, curated and hosted by two powerhouse females: Leah Simone Bowen and Falen Johnson. Even if you are not living in what is now known as “Canada,” there are some great history lessons here—they tend to talk about things that a lot of people don’t want to, and they do it with a perfect combination of seriousness, humour, and wit.

8. Watch movies and shows that are written and directed by women.

Just like with books, I find the feminine voice behind female-written and directed films to be more relatable. From what I have witnessed in my watching of them, they contain a lot more sensitive and relevant material than male created/written/directed films. That is not to say that I don’t also enjoy movies made by men—it is just a matter of who I want to fully support and where I want to spend my energy. I have a tendency to feel more energetically pulled towards films that are not only written and directed by women, but also feature more women in lead roles. I have a rule that I will never watch a film that depicts only men on the cover, especially if they are toting guns. I’m not into violence or misogynistic messages being poured into my psyche. Some female (with there being at least one female in the creation) created shows and films that I have found most entertaining lately are: Grace & Frankie (available on Netflix), Offspring (also available on Netflix), The Baroness Von Sketch Show, Deidra & Laney Rob a Train (Netflix), Mr. Roosevelt (Netflix), Band Aid (also Netflix…now you know my not so secret winter addiction!). I would recommend all of these for endless hours of entertainment when you just want to curl up in a nest and rest your bad@$$ self.

9. Watch adult films that are created by women.

If you are going to indulge in pornographic sensual delights, subscribe to female directed & produced films: I’ve never been hugely into porn, but I do like visual erotic stimulation from time to time, and in the last year, I discovered a woman named Erika Lust who writes, directs, and produces films for intimate pleasure—specifically focusing on female pleasure. It’s very different from mainstream derogatory films and actually has a solid base in artistic expression and sensual eroticism.…when you are in the mood, head over to her site and see if anything tickles your fancy.

I’m going to leave you with the last tip, which may be the most important of them all, for if you cannot be kind, you cannot be a true creator of change.

10. Be kind to the women in your life.

I know this seems like common sense, yet I feel it is something we can easily overlook when we feel inadequate, unworthy, or jealous of another woman. We need to always remember that we are here to help each other reach our own individual potential. There is no room for competition amongst our female counterparts. Even in times that we are triggered by our own wounds around sisterhood, we must choose to remain the kindhearted people we came into this world to be. If and when we are willing to be vulnerable in those moments, perhaps by speaking our feelings of jealousy or inadequacy to the other woman, we may just find ourselves a new friend, and this can be one of the greatest gifts the world could receive—true friendship between women who care.

While you step intentionally down this path, remember to do what you can to raise the voices and the messages of those we are more oppressed than you. Visible minorities and women of all shapes, sizes, and sexual orientation need all of our support—we are here to help each other heal and when we do so with integrity and kindness, the world changes, and so do we.

Now that you have a solid base to work from, you can see how there are many other areas of life where you can support women in your everyday actions. Enjoy!