How Bellbottoms Helped Me Heal
They are groovy and they help with gratitude
I never thought that I would wear bellbottoms and that would be an article of clothing that became a staple of my style, but it became more than just a staple of my style.
I bought my first pair of bellbottoms in 2020, they were too long for my legs, and I had to constantly adjust them, and over time the frayed edges at the cuffs of the legs became rustic and aged. It felt like I had my unique pair of bellbottoms that no one else would ever have due to the way that it frayed.
The bellbottoms became the first part of my journey into 70s style and clothing.
When I got into my first relationship after five years, Clothing was a fun thing that we incorporated into our relationship to go on shopping trips and find new pieces of clothing and put ensembles of outfits together. I liked it, it felt like something that married couples do.
However, my partner was not the person I thought they were, there were many traumatic moments in the relationship. They always made me feel bad for being myself, Whenever I would confront them about the way they hurt my feelings, it was always turned around on me. (Because of gaslighting)
That’s what narcissists do they make you feel bad for their actions.
The thing about trauma is it’s a permanent fracture. Triggers are like a Jack in the box, you never know when it’ll pop. Even though that person is not present in the life, the unfair treatment still lingers in those memories attached to various items or moments.
The person that I was with. They told me about how they didn’t like my style. They told me it was cheap. I think its because it did not match their style or the way they wanted me to look.
Realistically, it didn’t have anything to do with my bellbottoms or mother style, it was because it was the way I am in general. The bellbottoms were one of the many things to ridicule me about. It was their way of getting power over me.
Even though I am my person and I like the style I have that incorporates color and funky fashions, they never stopped doing that to me.
When I got out of that relationship, It took time to enjoy the many things that they didn’t like that I did that were a part of my identity.
It took time to eventually be comfortable with the things that I loved because of the constant negativity.
There were some things that I would look at and it would make me refrain from going back to that style because of the words echoed in my head, it took a while for the echo to finally turned down in my process of getting over the trauma.
I was shopping at Walmart and saw the year new collection of bellbottoms, it was the first time that I saw an article of clothing that used to be made fun of and I never thought about my former partner. It didn’t trigger me or blast me back to the memories of abuse.
I was happy to see those bellbottoms again.
I found a beautiful purple pair of bellbottoms that had a tapestry design with peaches and purples and pinks all over it. It was five dollars well spent and began a new search to be on the look for more bellbottoms.
The second pair I got was a plaid pair pants with black and yellow.
Wearing bellbottoms made me happy. The comfort of the fabric, seeing the way the flares of the pants would wave when I walked.
It made styling my outfits absolutely effortless. Any pair of bellbottoms that I bought, I could pair any shirt with it and a fun necklace and be out the door in minutes.
I wanted something to wear that I could easily throw on and still feel like I put together an effortless look just because the bell-bottom style and color provided a lot for the outfit. It could be as versatile as I want it to be.
I got to have fun in fashion again, and I never thought about how the bellbottoms were that marking period in my healing journey. I got to a comfortable place where I was before things went to hell.
I don’t wear bell bottoms to get compliments or to make my appearance look good for others.
All that matters to me is how happy it makes me. That’s what anyone wants when they find something that helps them in their healing journey. It just happens to be that modern-day bellbottoms help me out.
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