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Growing Up as the 'Fat Girl'

My Struggle of Learning to Love My Body, and How I Turned Away Hate

By Sierra LynnPublished 6 years ago 4 min read
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Okay, I'll admit it, it's not easy. Being known as the 'Fat Girl', being known as the one who does nothing but eat, known as lazy just because of the way you look. It's not cool, nobody wants it, nobody ever asked for it.

I'm 19 years of age, I am still learning to love the body I am in, to love my skin. It has taken almost my whole life to accept myself for who I am. I have struggled, I have cried, I have been stressed over it time and time again. But through the endless streams of tears, the constant battle, and the progression of time, here I am, more loving of myself than I have ever been.

Growing up I never looked like the other girls. I could never wear the same clothes at the other girls, they never fit me. I was too embarrassed for pictures, too scared to show myself too the world. I was shy because of the way I looked. In middle school, one of the only people I spoke to was my guidance counselor. I would avoid colors, only wearing black, gray, and more black. I was ashamed.

I skipped gym class, because major movement would have made me a class clown. I avoided all dances in high school; dress shopping just would have made me cry. Just like the classic teen movies, I too ate lunch in the bathrooms, just purely in fear of people seeing me eat. I missed out on some of my favorite activities, such as the school play, because I was embarrassed to show myself like that, who would I entertain, nobody.

I developed eating disorders, becoming anorexic for almost two years, binge eating disorder being one of the ones I still have. In short, I go times without eating, I hide it from people, I am ashamed of feeding my body in front of others, just to destroy it all with excessive bingeing, then forgetting everything I ate just a few hours later. I also had major escalations in my depression and anxiety. I would be distressed for days over my body image, I destroyed friendships out of pure fear, I was helpless in many aspects of my life.

Being known as 'the Fat Girl' was an emotional toll I carried for a majority of my life. Even in elementary school I would question my beauty. At the age of six, I was called 'an ugly fat ogre'. That was the first time my weight had hurt me, at the mere age of six. Kids were brutal.

Through social media, press, television, school bullies, even daily life, I was taught to hate myself because of my image.

What kind of bullshit is that?

Why are we teaching young girls that it is wrong to be chubby or overweight?

What in God's name is wrong with us?

I learned young that being the 'Fat Girl' isn't okay.

Now I want to teach young girls out there that it is indeed okay.

It is okay to have thick thighs, it's just a good place to hold your snacks.

It is okay to have love handles; I mean, they're called 'love handles' for a reason, aren't they?

It is okay to have back rolls; I haven't met a single person who doesn't love bakeries.

It is okay to love yourself, you have so so so many reasons to.

Growing up as the 'Fat Girl' doesn't have to be a bad thing anymore.

Remember when I said when I was six that I got called an 'ugly fat ogre'? I forgot to tell you the rest of the story. I walked up to the girl who told me that, I looked her in the eye, and I told her, "Well, I'd rather be an ogre like Shrek, than just be a stinky gross donkey. At least ogres have layers." Shrek had recently come out when I was six. Even at six, I wanted every right to love myself, because I had that right.

It's time to change the script on being the 'Fat Girl'; let's empower one another. Being the 'Fat Girl' is a thing of the past. Now it's just being a girl, being a happy one at that.

Learn to love the skin your in ladies. It's enlightening to become one with who you are meant to be. You are entitled to self love, it's a God-given right that no one will ever take from you.

Love yourself, forgive your past, embrace your future.

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About the Creator

Sierra Lynn

Aspiring historian. Fiction enthusiast. Lover of mystery.

Writer of macabre, fantasy realms, and historical ideals.

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