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Get your religion out of my vagina!

My journey through betrayal and oppression from the women in my life

By Adrianne WilliamsPublished 3 years ago 10 min read
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Get your religion out of my vagina!
Photo by T. Q. on Unsplash

I am writing in the hopes of being heard. I do not aim to attack; only to respect all and express my thoughts. I only want to understand why another’s pain trumps not only my pain, but the pain of over 600,000 women a year - because we are all human and deserve love and compassion. This is very personal topic for me, and I’d like to share my perspective. I’d also like to add why pro-life beliefs are harmful and hurtful to people like me.

Just as there are [privileged] women on one side of the coin who desperately try to have children and build a family, using whatever methods they can find, there are [privileged] women on the other side of the coin who deserve the right to decide when to build a family and if the current situation is of quality to do so.

Per the CDC, in 2016 alone, over 53,000 abortions were performed in Texas. The need for abortion services will not go away - even though statistics show the number of abortions performed is decreasing each year. In 2016, 623,471 legal induced abortions were reported to CDC from 48 reporting areas. The abortion rate for 2016 was 11.6 abortions per 1,000 women aged 15-44 years, and the abortion ratio was 186 abortions per 1,000 live births. These numbers prove marginally that there are much bigger problems to focus on that would do so much more good in this world than focusing on the cause for pro-life, which is a mostly religious value based view not owned by all that takes away basic rights.

My perspective is that women deserve the right to make decisions regarding the reproductive health of their own bodies as they see fit. It is a private matter between a woman and her doctor. It is not a public health, religious, or moral matter. This is my body, and I do not need the government, or anyone else, telling me what I can and cannot do with it. Women deserve to have options. Men certainly capitalize on their reproductive options - why can’t women? And why isn’t the topic of men refusing to take responsibility of their promiscuities being discussed? Does the question of men’s reproductive rights ever come up in Congress? It’s time to stop defending men who don’t take responsibility of their reproductive actions by only focusing on banning abortion. All parties involved are responsible for the state of this country. If it takes a man and a woman to procreate, why are we only focusing on the woman’s perspective?

Now, the two sides of the coin mentioned earlier are not considering the underprivileged. The self-reported incidence of rape or sexual assault more than doubled from 1.4 victimizations per 1,000 persons age 12 or older in 2017 to 2.7 in 2018. Many cases go unreported – representing the underprivileged. Knowing the perspective of being the result of rape and unwanted, I cannot encourage enforcing women to procreate such unhealthy notions into saving a life that would only resent existing from the beginning of life and never heal from such a core level betrayal. This is a perspective nothing like those of the women who advocate for pro-life have experienced. Women who advocate for pro-life do not see what else is out there in the world – from their safe (religious and privileged) pedestals. I believe the pro-life women feel obligated to oppose what they have the most shame and guilt around in their own experiences. Taking away basic rights of another is no way to heal.

Damage control is needed more than ever in this world. We can agree on that. I believe it needs to start at home. We need to stay out of private matters and allow people to heal on their terms. In this world, I must (naively) believe is good, shouldn’t there be options available to all people to make their own decision as to how they chose to live their lives? And shouldn’t we all be free to make our own decisions without judgement? Man or woman? Republican or Democrat? Religious or not?

Now I would like to share my perspective in addressing the pain in my single story. I had an abortion by myself at the age of 20 because my boyfriend not only got me pregnant - but got the girl he cheated on me with pregnant at the same time. I drove myself to the clinic and walked past the protestors that called me a murderer and a monster, sobbing the whole way. Their freedom of speech was more like harassment. How can another person be so hateful at such a vulnerable time like this? And to be another woman inflicting this hate, cuts deep. To be my mother who inflicts this pain indirectly, cuts even deeper. I experienced all this pain alone and never sought or found solace from my mother at the time, in fear of judgment. I drove myself home (to my boyfriend’s house) and slept for days in the fetal position in the same bed I desperately needed to flee from because my family could not and would not understand. Then years later, to not only find out that my mother had an abortion, but she compassionately helped my sister in having hers, also added to the betrayal I felt from her (don’t get me wrong, I am thankful she was there for my sister). Now today, there is yet another layer of betrayal added: my mother has the guts to speak up in support of a ban on abortions in a city council meeting - yet refuses to speak to me on the matter, as if nothing happened. I do not know who this person is anymore that I thought I used to know. The fact that a conversation cannot develop despite my diplomatic attempts speaks to the intergenerational exchange of silent oppression that still exists in our family dynamic. I refuse to be silent – or like those before me in any way.

I am also not here to blame anyone for my experiences, or to take away from another’s. I have learned to expect very little from people, even my own mother. I innately believe people can be good. I find it is only when one cannot look past themselves that they also cannot see what is right in front of them. In other words, you must be able to see the big picture to understand and fully appreciate the little parts that make the big picture. Perspective is most certainly everything.

Supporting any ban on abortions (a small part in the big picture) negates our (human) existence. What are we (pro-choice vs. pro-life) fighting for anyway? No one here is pro-abortion, and this fight should not be based on religious views – which also do not belong anywhere in government – only the freedom to choose a religion does. It should be based on the individual’s right to decide for themselves what is right for them.

When the Bible is used as adolescent punishment, there is most certainly cause for disbelief in and questioning of its teachings from onset. The Bible (or religion) cannot be thrown around and used at each owner’s discrepancy for their own benefit. As such, prophecies and teachings cannot be “cherry-picked” to fit the needs of the storytellers. That cannot be what its intended purpose is. Religion should not be used to oppress others, rather to uplift and enlighten – and not through scripture but example. Stop throwing the Bible at us. Finding personal freedom through religion should not include limiting the freedom of others. This is basic common logic.

My point is: women everywhere deserve to have safe reproductive medical options – despite religious or political views. What is more important to protect: the chicken or the egg? Well, common sense tells me if you do not take care of your chickens, they won’t have any eggs. We must look at the root of the issue: women’s [everyone’s] overall mental, emotional, and physical health with the combined goal of a healthy lifestyle. I believe this will start with taking a good long hard look in the mirror and being an honest beacon of loving light for all around us – being willing to understand each other’s stories without trying to slip religion into unwanted pockets. In sharing our stories, one by one, and speaking our voices we can find unity and ultimately the love this whole world needs to heal.

The word sanctuary is defined as a place that is considered sacred (as within religion). The basis of making my hometown of Lubbock a “sanctuary city” is to clean the tarnished reputation the city has. But if we were to do such a thing, we should look to the University – which is known for its high STD rate, as well as most of the yearly revenue for the city. The term “Raider Rash” has given this town a bad reputation for years, but locals deal with it because we thrive on the economy the students bring. Planned Parenthood was here, went away, and is now back – conservatives got used to it not being here, and the people who utilized it responsibly - missed it. What conservatives fail to see, is Planned Parenthood is not the enemy, and neither is the option of abortion. This movement to ban abortion by attacking Planned Parenthood does not give any attention to the facts or the hospitals that have been providing Plan B pills for years. There also isn’t any attention given to the hypocrisy that thrives in its members who have committed the same actions they protest against. Separation of church and state needs to become more prevalent. Get your religion out of my vagina!

I love my country and I love myself. I have the freedom to choose religion - or not. I have the freedom to speak my voice, being proud of who I am. I only have a problem with other Americans when they attempt to enforce their religious or political views on all – as if their perspective is the only one that matters. Freedom of speech was not meant to squander another person’s freedom of speech. We ought to be respecting one another better. It is a good thing to have different views and be different. It is not a good thing to judge others for their choices regarding their own personal matters – which have no effect on another’s life, until basic rights are taken away.

My religious beliefs are to be kind and love everyone. Isn’t that the basic principle of Christian religious teachings? If so, I do not see how taking away the basic right to reproductive health is helpful in anyone’s fight.

If I, or anyone else who has had an abortion, has thought this way then why would anyone feel the need to inflict personal religious views on opposing the right to fundamental reproductive rights? – And why can this not be discussed diplomatically? It has been brought up and ignored. If anyone thinks they might be enlightening with Bible scriptures or questioning beliefs in God, they would be wrong. We all want to hear from self-actualized thoughts. Let us hear what you – the pro-lifers - have to say, without using the Bible as a shield. I dare you to think for yourself.

References

CDCs Abortion Surveillance System FAQs | CDC. (2019). Retrieved from https://www.cdc.gov/reproductivehealth/data_stats/abortion.htm

Statistics. (2018). Retrieved from https://www.nsvrc.org/statistics#:%7E:text=The%20self%2Dreported%20incidence%20of,the%20United%20States%20in%202018

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About the Creator

Adrianne Williams

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