Feminism

t.w. sexual assault

When I was younger, I wanted to be a housewife when I grew up. I saw my mum lead a life which I saw as easy and enjoyable and jokingly said I'd shadow her for my school's Year 10 work experience week. It took me until I was a bit older to appreciate her vocation as a stay-at-home-mum as being her own choice and an admirable and often arduous task in its own right (my sister was a handful). To me, feminism is empowering and supporting other women's choices rather than ridiculing them and tearing them down. My mum is my inspiration and has worked extremely hard to help me get to where I am today, and people who judge her for not working, I believe, are missing the point of what it means to uplift other women. Feminism means to me the ability to choose and not be judged on the basis of gender.

Another defining point in my changing attitudes towards gender issues occurred during the later years of my high-school career. After puberty, I became more conscious of what boys thought of me and thought my place was to listen and not be heard, laugh but not make the jokes because I wasn't as funny and was scared as being dismissed as a try-hard. I was very shy as a child and having gained confidence over the recent years, being outspoken is a trait I find extremely admirable and hope to soon fully emulate myself. One such achievement was in my final year when I was being referred to as a Femi-Nazi by some boys. In spite of the negative connotations of that label I was proud rather than offended, as they intended, by being recognised and heard. Feminism means to me being able to speak out and not being made/feeling compelled to stay silent.

One final reason was an experience that is extremely personal to me and I often find difficult to talk about, yet I look at it as something that has put a fire in my belly in my desire for gender equality. Even speaking out about it for the first time properly now gives me a certain sense of liberation as I am in control of the narrative. When I had just turned 18 I was extremely unfortunate to be on the receiving end of sexual assault whilst asleep at a friend's house, which could've escalated further but I consider myself lucky that it didn't. My feelings at the time strongly resonate with me today. I felt not only scared, but there was also the physical inability to say anything to stop it - my mind whirring trying to rationalise and excuse the perpetrator's behaviour as him being drunk and confused. At the time I was unable to see the situation for what it was, assuming it just happened to some girls and that I was unlucky, but that it was a fact of life. For many people this is tragically the case with 1 in 5 women in the UK experiencing sexual assault in their lifetimes. My own experience spurred an empathy for women everywhere who have had similar experiences whilst also solidifying my belief that this shouldn't be viewed as just something that happens and an 'unfortunate' circumstance as I previously stated. Nobody should be subjected to sexual violence due to their gender (or at all for that matter). I believe a starting point is moving from only dealing with the repercussions for the victims to addressing the cause of the problem and stopping it at the root rather than simply dealing with the aftermath otherwise nothing will ever change. Feminism means to me having complete autonomy and control over one's own body without fear of that being compromised.