F**k Your Standards of Beauty

We’re told all our lives that we should be a certain way and look a certain way, we’re warned not to be too much of this or not enough of that. We’re shaped in such a way that has us questioning everything we are, everything we’re not and everything we think about ourselves. Who are you to tell me how my body should look, what shape my hips should be, or what colour my hair should stay? Who are you to convince me you have an input on my appearance?

How dare I let society dictate how I feel about MY own body? How dare I allow myself to hate the skin that holds me together because of a stranger’s opinion? My worth is not dependant on your thoughts. My worth is not based on how ‘hot’ I am or how ‘fit’ I look. My worth is infinite regardless of your bullshit notions.

My value is not something to be questioned, appraised, or determined as if I were an object, there will be no examination to see if I’m up to society’s standard. I am not something to be possessed or checked, so you will add no price tag and keep your judgement to yourself.

I refuse to let something as small and insignificant as how I look get in the way of my enjoyment of life and all the things I have to offer. I will stop scrutinising my body and learn to accept myself because I’m tired of caring whether ‘I look okay,’ or whether people will stare. I’m tired of your rubbish and the sense of dread I feel when I catch myself in a mirror. I don’t want to live by your standards or your rules. I don’t care if you think I ‘probably shouldn’t be wearing that’ - because, like I said already – it’s not up to you and I don’t remember asking for your opinion.

Regardless of whatever the current standard for beauty is wherever you might be, it’s about time we all realised something very, very important:

It literally doesn’t matter. That’s it. That’s all it is, it doesn’t matter what society decides is beautiful, or right, or whatever. It makes no difference. I’m not trying to sound preachy or to force everyone to love themselves as they are – I mean sure, we should love ourselves but that’s hard and not always going to happen instantaneously. What I’m trying to say is that anything we choose to do, or think should be our choice. If you want to wear a bikini – do it. If you want to keep a shirt on – cool. If you want to change something, change it, if you don’t – don’t. When it comes to your body, the only opinion that matters is your own. It’s about being comfortable (yes, we can argue about whether we are truly comfortable, why we are, whether our comfort is reliant on society and whether our idea of comfortable aligns with theirs, but let’s not because it’s an impossible argument – who knows what we would all think if there were no standardized concepts).

I’m writing this knowing full well my head is often full of negative thoughts about my body, knowing that the dress I’m currently wearing is only sometimes comfortable, knowing that yes, I am holding my stomach in while I sit at my desk. Knowing that I do compare myself to others, that I sometimes feel ‘too much of this’ or ‘not enough of that.’ I’m writing this because it’s something I know I need to hear.

I am more than my skin, my hair, my looks.

I cannot - and will not be measured by your scales.

I will no longer apologise for any part of me.

My body is exactly that. MY BODY and I’ll do with it as I please.