Experiences Being a Female in a Perverted Society

Imagine this: you’re a 13-year-old female. You’re wearing simple clothing, just a t-shirt and jeans. Nothing sexy about that, right? It’s a plain-Jane outfit. You’re doing something simple; you’re with your mom at the grocery store getting some groceries. In the aisle comes four men, each one doing a double-take as they pass by you, some of them giving you the "elevator eyes." You know those eyes—the eyes that look you up and down like you’re something tasty. You stare right back at them, wondering what they’re looking at. At first, you’re in denial—they couldn’t possibly be looking at you like that, right? They were in their 50s, you in your first year as a teenager. Thirteen-year-old me didn’t know why they were staring. I thought maybe I had some leftover chocolate on my lip, but, alas, my mom told me it was because they were perverts. She told me that some men don’t have control, and that they stare and think horrendous thoughts, all at the expense of a little girl. This day was the pivotal moment when I knew that the world wasn’t what I thought it was.

Another example of when I realized that the world isn’t safe was when I was walking home from the bus stop one day. It was December 2015; the only reason I remember the month and year so clearly is because it was such a scary experience, and it shaped me to be who I am today: paranoid. I was walking home from the bus after school and, as I was walking out of the storm-drain, a white car passed me. I didn’t think anything of it; maybe the owner of the car lived around here. As I was walking up my street, the same car was behind me, the driver going as slow as a snail. Suddenly, it hit me: I was being followed. The driver was peering over the wheel as if to get a better look at me. He was unbuckling, as if to get out of the car. I turned around at that moment and I pulled out my phone, running into my neighbor’s yard. As soon as he saw me book it into the yard with my phone, he buckled back up and sped off. Two years later, it’s 2017. A few weeks ago, I was talking to my friend who lives across from me, and he told me that the car that was following me belonged to the registered sex offender who lived on the next street. What if I was listening to music? I wouldn’t have heard the car behind me, and I wouldn’t have looked behind me. Something horrific could’ve happened to me had I not been aware of my surroundings.

These two examples aren’t the only things I’ve experienced when it comes to being a female in a male-dominant society. I’ve walked through parking lots at various stores, getting whistles as people pass me by. I could wear a trash bag and I’d still get whistled at or cat-called. This world isn’t rainbows and butterflies—it’s unsafe and there’s evil in this world. Unfortunately, we’re all desensitized to the horrors that happen: amber alerts, people going missing, rape, sex trafficking, women being sexually harassed as they’re going about their day.

This world isn’t safe. This world isn’t what it could be. These experiences have made me more aware (and paranoid!) of my surroundings and cautious of sketchy people. These have shaped me in a positive and negative way, but I know that I’m a better person now that I’m more aware of what exactly happens when you're a female in a world where men don't think with their brains.