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Call Me B**** One More Time

I'll SHOW you One!

By Sinister SilhouettesPublished 4 years ago 3 min read
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Call Me B**** One More Time
Photo by Spencer Pierce on Unsplash

Today, a Black man called me a bitch.

This is not anything new- men have called me out of my name many times. No, I’m not exactly shocked about this. In the 90s, partly because of the influence of early rap music, it was par for the course. As young ladies, we almost answered to derogatory terms. This is not to say that at the time we should have accepted this. When you know better, you do better.

The surprise of being called a bitch today comes from the timing of his insult. This is 2020- a year where we have seen a shift in societal views on many things. The Black Lives Matter movement is in full swing; we are seeing allies from all walks of life from all over the world. Beyonce has announced, “Black is King”. Hell, we have the first Black woman nominated as a Vice-Presidential candidate on a major ticket. But we still have Black men openly denigrating Black women in public places. With all the changes in the world, this is not okay.

It saddened me that this man- a man who I would call “brother” even while angry- thought so little of me to call me out of my name. Not to mention the fact that we were in “mixed company”. It angered me he couldn’t see the harm that could do to an entire movement. I imagine unsympathetic bystanders thinking, “Black lives matter? Look how they treat one another!” It’s an age-old scapegoat of a statement, but how often do we need to lend credence to it?

So many changes and so much stays the same. The expectation of being treated with respect also comes with being respectful.

Since the early aughts, women have taken the word “bitch” back. Many women will refer to themselves or their friends as “that bitch” in an almost reverential tone. I’m not here to try to preach against this practice. If you like it, I love it. It still doesn’t remove the sting of that word being hurled as an insult- particularly by someone who looks like you.

We can achieve so much in the eyes of the world, but if Black men are comfortable insulting us as Black women, we are stagnating. Look at the demographics of the protests in the streets of so many major cities. Black women are champions of the cause. We show up and show out to declare to the authorities that YOUR life matters. The odds of having a deadly encounter with the police are higher for Black men than women. Black women raise Black boys (at times alone) who then grow up to blatantly disrespect them.

I’m not insinuating that Black women are perfect or that all Black men are abandoning us. I am only saying what is evidenced by decades of history. All the way back from slavery, throughout the civil rights movement, Black women have held our men down. BLACK WOMEN GO HARD for Black men! I couldn’t even get one to check the poor excuse for a man who spoke threateningly at me.

Society is changing its views on what is acceptable behavior. I’m so happy to be alive to see that we are evolving into a more inclusive global community. There is still more work to be done, and you can be certain that Black women stay ready to roll up our sleeves. However, the same way we demand respect in other arenas- be they societal, racial, political, et al.- we EXPECT that same respect as it pertains to our interactions with one another.

I am not your bitch.

feminism
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