Black

"Stella! where are my keys? I am late!

How many times has he been late? How many times has he asked me for keys that I do not use? How many times do I always know where they are, so I reluctantly point in that direction?

“Thanks, don’t wait up.”

Don’t wait up? Why does he say that? I have not waited up for years. But of course, he didn’t notice. He never notices. I have literally become invisible to him and for that I am thankful. I used to long for his attention, but now I know that this was just a marriage of convenience, no love. It was a hard realization, but one that also has freed me. So, when he leaves, I play Black.

Black is a game that myself and other women who are in dead end marriages play. Each week, we pay to play for our freedom from our mundane lives that are on repeat. Day in and out we are serving our self-serving husbands. Some of us believed that we were getting our prince charming or our knight in shining armour, only to wake up to Bob the Barbaric asshole. It was a necessary route to take and worth the risk of our lives. Each prize was different, we had no idea what the prize would be but for some, once you get it, it has delivered complete freedom along with a new life and identity. Something that I am desperate for.

Our players consisted of Zeena, Marjorie and me. Zeena is the leader. She has the highest score and has been playing the longest. She has been married to Stan, banker, millionaire and theft for over ten years and she is almost on her way out. Last game she came so close to the prize that we all were cheering for her. He married Zeena to hide his other affairs. She was his fifth wife, and she was sold the story of riches and unlimited credit cards, only to find out that she is being held captive to be used at his disposal.

Then it was Marjorie. Marjorie’s husband is considered a wealthy man, but he only spared her a hundred dollars a week allowance, while he spent millions on cars and other women. He promised her children and the America dream, only to realize that her beauty would used as a reference that he referred to during fundraisers and auctions. Two years ago, Marjorie tried to commit suicide, but the contract with her husband did not allow her to, so she became a member of the game Black, she saw it as her only way out.

Lastly, it was me. My name is Stella. I met my husband at a business conference in Milan. I have been married to my husband for five years, I was the assistant to his boss. He only married me to get inside information, once the information was got and he took over the company, our marriage was over. So, here I am waiting to play Black. It was thousands of us, and everyone needed to be logged in, in order to reap the maximum benefit. We knew that if one of us could get through the maze to the Black Book and find out the secret inside, it could be the key to all our freedom.

Zeena had been playing the longest, so we let her take the lead. Once inside the game you had to tell the truth about your marriage or whatever it is that you are running from. There were several people running from different things, but there was only one direction you could run into in order to receive the ultimate prize and that was in the direction of the Black Book.

There were women who we never heard from again. We do not know if they were able to get free or met their doom. The unknown was the risk, whatever the fate, it would be worth it. Waking up to a stranger is no longer appealing. I want an emotional connection and not just with my pet. His neglect has made me stronger, one day I will be free, and I will not look back.

We were all inside the maze and it was go time! Each corner of the maze was met with a question of whether we loved our husbands or not. Testing our loyalty and out ability to think fast. The obvious answer would be yes, we loved our husbands, but could you still answer yes, if you knew he was a lying sac of balls? One wrong answer and you were out of the game, so the truth had to be the truth, even when it was a lie.

It was good to have aliases who could see where you could not. Maneuvering through the maze was quite tedious. In some areas you had to run from his mother and x-girlfriends. On other levels, you had the option of dating his father or brother. On each level there were obstacles put in your way, but once you make it to the Black level, then the real fun begins.

The Black level is where you can choose your fate as long as it is in alignment with your true destiny. If you are not aligned, you will have to start over and repeat the level again. It was more about yourself and your intentions with whatever you found in the Black Book. What you found in the Black Book was rooted in your hidden desires, so it was different for everyone.

Beeeeep! Beeeeep! Beeeeep! was the sound that was made when a player was getting close to the Black Book. The alarm was the sound of heaven. It informed everyone that someone was close to the Black Book and their freedom was nearby. I looked up and it was Marjorie in first place, she was heading for the black book and we all watched in awe.

There it was the small black book in all it’s shining glory, I was just a few feet away and with only one question left to paradise. I could taste my freedom; it was so close. The black leather was shiny, the ridges were perfectly made and bonded to perfection. There was a slight glow around the book. It made me not want to touch it, but hearing the last question, through me for a loop. “Do you love yourself?” Do I love myself, what the hell? Yes! I love myself. Yes, I finally love myself. Then the black book began to sizzle, and a slight fog came from the edges. It began to float in the air and spin in circles. It looked like a helicopter, getting ready for take-off. The book flew opened with a great force; the soft wind pierced my skin. The light inside was shining so bright, I could no longer see what was in front of me. Then, suddenly, I was sitting on a pile of money. I looked around me and it was all green. It seemed as if I had been transported to another life. I looked up and the sky was pink. I looked down and there was a note, “You’re sitting on twenty-thousand dollars use your freedom wisely.”

LL Walton, Author