Being Told I Have Polycystic Ovary Syndrome

When I was growing up I never really paid much attention to when my monthly period would come. I always had painful cramping but after I turned 18 they seemed to get worse. My mum advised that I start writing down the date when I get my period, I started this in 2012 by simply writing it on my iPhone notes. Soon I noticed that my periods were super irregular but I did not think much of it at the time, I just thought that was why some months were more painful than others.

I have in my previous pieces of writing mentioned struggling with my weight, I did not even eat much yet was gaining weight like someone who was eating for three. At on point I was size 18 and felt very ashamed of myself, being in secondary school did not help as I was constantly called names. In the years to come I would starve myself, go on diets and try my best to exercise even though I hated the gym. All this effort needed to be maintained otherwise I would gain a lot of weight back and quick. Fast forward to 2014 at the age of 23 and now married. I was still monitoring my periods, I never knew when to expect my period and before my period would come I would get real sick, similar to early pregnancy symptoms. Of course there were times I would check if I was pregnant as my period would be missing for 2-3 months, but then get a negative test result. I began researching what causes irregular periods and started reading about PCOS.

The NHS website said some of the common symptoms were

• Irregular periods or no periods
• Fertility issues (due to irregular ovulation or failure to ovulate)
• Excessive hair growth
• Weight gain
• Thinning hair and hair loss
• Oily skin or acne

I was married for three years at this point and although I only spoke to my closest family and friends about it, I did feel as though it was a topic never discussed in the Somali community. During those three years people would comment on why I did not have a child, if I was preventing myself from getting pregnant etc. At first it would annoy me to the point that I would write direct poems about this and post them on my social media accounts, but gradually I stopped caring. It was during this time that I realised how important it was to speak about individual experiences. The amount of responses I got from other sisters who felt the same way but did not know how to express themselves was overwhelming. This is why I am writing about having PCOS now because it could help another woman who is currently feeling this way.

In June 2016 I finally went to go see my GP, who referred me to a fertility clinic. Our doctor was very blunt and she told me that for my height I am obese, I would need to lose a lot of weight before she would continue. It did piss me off because I thought surely it is not just my weight as heavier people get pregnant, but then again not all heavier people have PCOS. So I began a diet and for the first two weeks of eating salads and fruits I was very moody and aggressive but it paid off. I lost 10kg before my follow up appointment which was set 3 months later. I walked into that appointment so proud of myself and the doctor said she didn't even want to weigh me as she could see from my face that I lost weight. This is when my fertility treatment started, alhamduliah I did not need multiple cycles of treatment or injections. I was given (Clomid) tablets to take when my period did come which would help my body ovulate. Shortly after we found out that we were expecting alhamduliah, during the first 7 months of pregnancy I did not gain any weight. However the last two months I gained the 10 kg I lost back. I had a difficult and tiring pregnancy but alhamduliah currently I am back trying to lose weight again.

I guess I will always have to maintain and be conscious of my weight because of this. I am not ashamed of having PCOS and neither should any woman who is going through this. I do not know why we are told to keep quiet about things like this but it is time to break out of this cycle and at least be a support system for each other.

If anyone wants to talk to me further about this feel free to DM me on instagram @mrsnmelmi or email me [email protected]