Beautiful Silence

As she laid there cold and numb fighting the moon to close her eyes. Feeling the hay, mold into her back, as she is thrusted up and down, not taking her eyes off the moon, in hopes the moon could save her or the tree, maybe one star, just one. Her eyes swelled up like fountains about to overflow, as the tears fell down the side of her face they left a cold trail to her ears and further down to her throat. She felt a piece of her soul breaking, spirit leaving. Her innocence ripped from her chest down to underwear. Not comprehending what was happening but very much felt the hate, the evil of what was being done to her. She could not fight it, the power of evil was far too great. So she chose the moon, glared at it as her memories of running through the fields and picking flowers faded, smelling vanilla through the house as her mom had a cake coming out of the oven, all the things that brought her joy emptied, her smile gone. The thrusting stops, she hears the barn door open and close. It's cold and wet between her legs as if she wet herself, she could not feel a thing she couldn't even move. She felt as if an elephant had been on her crushing her, leaving her there to die. Her heart is thumping out of her chest, her breathing is slowing down. She looks to the beautiful moon and the silent night sky, the stars become blurry as it all blends together and fills with darkness. She falls into a sleep.

A few hours pass and she begins to faintly hear "who, who" and once again "who, who" she slowly begins to move her head to follow the sound as it gets louder and louder as if something was trying to wake her. Gradually opening her eyes. She looks for the moon, still her eyes seeing a blur not finding its light, as if the moon abandoned her, instead she focuses on this beautiful creature. “Who, who” it echoes again. For a split second she forgot why she was in the barn, as she felt the reminder of fire and ice all over her body simultaneously. She looks to the night owl and speaks to it as if it were her friend. Have you been here all along? Why didn't you help me? Why didn't you stop him? Didn't you see me crying, breaking… The owl just looked at her with those enormous blackhole eyes as it gazed at her until she looked away. She felt shame, pain, doubt and fear overwhelm her all at once. Asking the owl “What am I supposed to do now?” “Who am I now?” Doubting her existence, her life as she knew it. She knows it will never be the same and begins to cry and her throat knots up. She cries to the moon, the tree and the stars. She cries to the silence and she slowly feels dead inside. The life she once knew was taken from her, life is but a dream now. She no longer feels or cares, she sees the world against her, pressed against her like the elephant. She pleaded for the owl to take this pain away, to take away the evil that was bestowed upon her, the emptiness she has burrowing inside her. Of course the owl did not answer her pleas. She closes her eyes once again, her thoughts racing with hate and rage. Damning the owl, as a useless irrelevant creature, the beauty of the stars, moon, the trees are gone for her now. She sees darkness, she thinks to herself what's the point, why bother living. Why am I even here? Why me?