A message for those who can’t gain weight

I wanted to speak on behalf of everyone who can’t gain weight, has heard the phrase “she only eats air” constantly, and for the people who are unhappy with the way they look. Everyone has this growing sensitivity towards fat people being shamed or the mental damages they go through, not that I’m saying they shouldn’t, but nobody here talks about how being skinny is just as bad. They SUFFER JUST AS BAD as the obese.

For someone who’s 5’8 and weighs barely a 100lbs, it would piss me off every time I’d go to the pharmacy or a grocery store and the only thing I’d see lined up on the shelves were weight loss shakes, pills, tea and even gummies?! You will almost never see anything like that for weight gain, but people do not even bother to notice, because why? It is just not taken as seriously in the eyes of our society. You don’t think skinny people have trouble finding their size too? They have trouble feeling accepted, they have trouble feeling good about themselves. I have had personal self-esteem issues solely based on this, even now.

I have had people say the stupidest things to my face such as “How will you have kids? build some strength.” You would not say that to a person struggling with obesity then why do people think it is okay to say that to someone struggling with the same problem as me? I just want to make it clear that it is not okay. Just like how it is not okay to tell an obese individual “Don’t wear crop tops with that stomach”, it is not okay to tell a skinny person “Eat something, you look like a pole”. It takes great deal of strength and effort to give a tight smile, as a response, every time someone makes a comment on your lack of weight. Public gatherings and dinners started to get hard for me because I just knew the second, I would reach for the serving spoon, I’m going to hear a comment. It’s just a joke for them.

Fat-shaming is not okay, and neither is skinny-shaming. These are authentic issues that hurt just as bad, but nobody wants to accept or talk about them because it is never taken as a real concern. They are always overlooked. It got so bad for me to a point where I would only wear baggy clothes and was forever labeled as a “tomboy”. Just because you cannot relate does not mean the matter does not exist. It lives. It crawls inside of you and eats you up. It makes you want to reevaluate yourself.

It took me a long time to find comfort within myself, but I am not going to say love your body because it is not easy, I am sorry. I am tired of reading the same inspirational quotes talking about loving your body, being yourself, be happy with yourself, but are unaware of the immense effort it takes to do all that. It takes mega effort and time to convince yourself that you do not need to reach a specific standard created by our society. There have been times where I still find myself on the floor next to my closet just feeling totally defeated and have trouble talking to people about it. Instead of them making me feel good about myself, I am criticized for even having that problem in the first place. It is a laughable cause to a lot of people.

My advice is even if you are unsatisfied with the way you look please refrain from telling people about your insecurities, sometimes your closest folks will throw them right back at your face. Just for some temporary comfort, you are exposing yourself and allowing them to hold it against you whenever they want. Fight your own battles.

By Manal Warsi. Maryland, USA.