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NBA Jersey Ads Are Trash

Might as well go big or go home.

By Stone StrankmanPublished 7 years ago 3 min read
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Image via Yahoo Sports

I hate the idea of having an ad put on the left chest of an NBA jersey. The Boston Celtics have agreed to place a General Electric patch on their sacred uniforms. Of all the NBA teams, I would’ve guessed that the Celtics would resist the patch — until Adam Silver threw down his quiet money-filled hammer to force the Celtics into putting some sort of ridiculous patch on the hallowed Boston jersey.

While we aren’t sure that these ads will permanently remain on NBA uniforms, we know that beginning in the 2017–2018 season we will embark on a three year journey of shitty ads that barely take up three or so inches on NBA jerseys. If the NBA is going to have ads on jerseys, why should it only be a patch? This is what I’m most heated about — if we must have ads, let’s make it like a NASCAR race car and have patches all over the damn jerseys. If the NBA wants this, they might as well truly WANT it and go all-out.

Why General Electric? Because the colorways worked with the Boston green? I’m not even a Celtics fan, and I am disgusted by the tarnishing of these historical jerseys. Have the Celtics ever made a modification to their design? I am 97% certain that they haven’t made a single uniform modification since 1946. Bill Simmons has to be infuriated about this, right? Jersey ads are trash.

The Philadelphia 76ers were one of the first to hop aboard the advertisement patch bandwagon, and will end up rocking a Stubhub patch. At least this one makes a little bit of sense, I think.

Image via ESPN

Okay, I’ve changed my mind. This patch sucks, too. Stubhub is cool and all for buying tickets to games, concerts, and whatever else you choose to attend, but get off these NBA jerseys. The more I think about teams selling out to Hello Kitty or Honey Nut Cheerios, the more I want to fight Adam Silver for this.

If the NBA is to profit by placing ads on each team’s uniform, then they need to go all-out. Soccer does it. The WNBA and the NBA’s D-League already do it. Why not maximize your profit, instead of this little trial run with patches? If you’re going to advertise, wouldn’t you want to advertise over the entire jersey rather than the three inch spot on the left chest? The answer is yes — you would want this because you are a business that must make money.

Image via Pinterst

Take a look here at Bayern Munich’s jersey. T-Mobile is all over that jersey. The front says, “Hey we give free cell phone service to the team and staff for free, so we can sucker you into switching services to our extremely terrible service. But look, we’re on Bayern’s jersey and Lewandowski scored like five goals in twelve minutes or something last year. Switch cell phone services to us because we like Bayern Munich.” This is how you advertise. All in. Prominent. You can actually see the company’s logo on the jersey.

Image via Sportsnaut

Now this is just funny. Almonds? Really Sacramento, almonds? You guys couldn’t do any better? I guess it is the Kings, and not many good things happen there — but almonds? This jersey patch idea is pathetic.

I want all-out advertising or absolutely no advertising at all. It’s either Ricky Bobby and the cougar, or plain ole NBA jerseys.

Image via Boston.com

The Kings have a lion as a mascot, so let’s slab a huge Lion King logo on there and call it a day.

I’m starting a petition to get rid of the advertisement patches before they’re ever worn on an NBA court.

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About the Creator

Stone Strankman

I'm in a committed relationship with the NBA. Staff Writer, The Unbalanced.

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