NBA All Go-To-War Team

If you’re like me, you enjoy when fights break out in the middle of NBA games. If you were an NBA general manager, and you had to put together a team of NBA players that you would want on your side during a fight, these would be the guys. Ones that can throw haymakers, choke someone out, or if need be, punch a fan. These players would be the All-Stars for a go-to-war team.

Point Guard: Isaiah Thomas

Now you’re sitting here, either looking at your phone or computer screen, and thinking, “Why in the world would I want a 5'9” munchkin on my NBA fight squad.” Well here’s your answer: He’s confident as all hell right now, and thinks he’s actually 6'7". Okay, well the second part I’m not entirely sure if that’s true, but he plays like he’s at least ten inches taller than what he is. With the confidence, he can look up at LeBron and confidently think he could punch that cyborg, and actually knock him out. Over every point guard in the game right now, I’d want Isaiah Thomas as my starting fighting point guard.

Shooting Guard: Matt Barnes

Matt Barnes is hated pretty much wherever he plays, and primarily because he’s a douche. Who better to have on your side in a fight than a league-wide douche? Barnes even tried to intimidate Kobe one time, and if that doesn’t just express douche-ness than I have no idea what does. Who tries to intimidate Kobe? Matt Barnes does. The first thing you think of when you think of Matt Barnes might be the whole Derek Fisher debacle, but the second thing you think of is probably the Kobe pump fake. Don’t lie to yourself, Barnes would be great on an NBA fight team.

Small Forward: Michael Beasley

This selection might startle you as well, but Beasley’s hair style and all-in attitude makes me think that he would do some really weird stuff if a fight happened. If he was on the bench I imagine him running onto the court and pantsing the first player on the opposing team that he saw, then running into another player and tackling him, then maybe, just maybe, he bites someone’s ear off. Why not, right?

Power Forward: Udonis Haslem

Haslem is a loyal guy, who isn’t afraid of hard work, and has three NBA Championships. He’s a little undersized, but that doesn’t stop him from grabbing boards, left and right, when he actually ends up getting playing time nowadays. He’s the guy who always has your back, and you can bet on it that he’ll have your back in a NBA fight.

Center: DeMarcus Cousins

Boogie has a temper like a five year old kid, and isn’t afraid to speak his mind. He also plays on a God-awful team, so let’s put him on a fight squad and get him some rings, or get him banned from the league from fighting too much. If this team were actually assembled at the beginning of an NBA season, they might not be a team by January of that same season. Boogie would demolish some NBA players, I’m sure of it.