Honestly? Be selfish.

Being selfish has become one of the worst things a person could possibly be these days. Or maybe, it’s always been that way.

In your 20s, you’re still figuring things out and somewhere in the mix of it all, we find ourselves trying to be who others need rather than more of who we need. We try so hard to please others that we blindfully neglect ourselves.

In all truth, we’re all just not selfish enough. We say “yes” even in moments when we know we should say “no”. We stay in situations that drain us longer than we should. We pour into things that just don’t pour back into us. We convince ourselves that being considerate, selfless, patient and accommodating will eventually be extended back to us. But that isn’t what happens.

What likely does is you give a person a hand and they end up taking the whole arm. And just because we’re so afraid of not coming across as selfish, we let them. We self-sacrifice. At times without even noticing it.

We fear being alone and starting over, but as a young individual, holding onto things is just something you should quickly unlearn. Because change is good. Change is necessary. Change is an eye opener. It helps you navigate between right and wrong. And change needs growth.

So know when you’re being kind and when you’re losing yourself because that is such an easy line to cross when you’re wired to feel guilty for looking out for yourself first. Acknowledge that your needs, your boundaries and your feelings matter too. You were never meant to think only for others, but rather to balance things. Don’t abandon yourself. Be selfish.

Prioritise your well-being, your peace as well as your goals, and recognise when something is misaligning with you and don’t try to justify walking away. Because putting yourself last honestly doesn’t make you a better person. Maybe toward others, but what about toward you? Your 20s are meant for making mistakes and learning. How do you do that with a clear mind when you’re constantly thinking for everyone but yourself?

Now this isn’t to say that you should be perfect, but to say that you should listen and trust yourself and forget about what people may judge you and say. Because whether you’re selfless or selfish, there will undoubtedly always be someone with an opinion.

Becoming who you’re meant to be requires honesty, space, distance, and not everyone will agree with the boundaries and choices you make for yourself, and that’s totally okay. Let no one make you feel bad about it. Let no one hold you back from building a you and a life that aligns with what you need and want.

Being labelled as selfish is not the end of the world. But that’s usually a label that comes from people who benefit from your lack of boundaries. So, who cares? You definitely shouldn’t. Boundaries keep out what isn’t meant for you. They close you off from the wrong kinds of circles.

Don’t agree to be overlooked, used, taken advantage of or undervalued. Do not make it easy for people to access you or exhaust you. Protect and respect yourself.

So be kind. Be present and be understanding. But most of all, be SELFISH. Disappoint others if you have to because the only relationship that deserves to be a priority is the one between you and only you. The sooner you understand that, the sooner everything else will begin to align. And the responsibility of alignment in your life and becoming who you should be has always been yours.