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Money Conversations To Have With Loved Ones: Part 1 of 2

The first 10 conversations. Question source: Print Discuss

By Justine CrowleyPublished 5 months ago 11 min read
Money Conversations To Have With Loved Ones: Part 1 of 2
Photo by Andre Taissin on Unsplash

No different to Scott Pape (The Barefoot Investor, now a financial counsellor) encouraging couples to sit down in a treat-like environment, and have a date night around money with wine, cheese, and even garlic bread (to name) to cheer you on. On this, when I refer to 'loved ones' - that can mean anyone, apart from your significant other. If you prefer to answer these thought-provoking money questions yourself in private, then that is fine too.

By Andres Garcia on Unsplash

Furthermore, it does not matter what your personal economy is doing (as in your own financial situation), and/or what the economy is doing collectively on a global scale.

In short, taking an inventory of your beliefs and values around money is the catalyst for turning your financial situation around, and/or for growing your wealth.

By Towfiqu barbhuiya on Unsplash

Wealth means wellbeing, and therefore these pivotal questions from Print Discuss carry a lot of substance. After all, you work hard and smart for your money to begin with, as passive income also comes off the back of earning some sweat and active income first. Money starter conversations happened during one's attendance at the Vogue Codes summit last year, and while travelling for the last six-weeks; inspiration struck with putting said idea to keyboard, sooner rather than later.

It pays to be brutally honest with your responses to such thought-provoking questions.

To keep each article/story relevant and to the point; I'll split this article into two parts to ensure a reasonably quick read, while I help you along the way. Both the good, as well as the downright ugly will come to the surface in my responses; even from a well-off person financially (not to impress, but rather to impress upon.)

Now to the questions (in bold) followed by my response to each. You're welcome.

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1. Which do you enjoy more: earning money or spending money?

What a mind blowing question, when you really delve into it. While I was working in the property industry, there were clients who just spent (for example) $500K on an investment property; yet that they did not like spending $715 on a depreciation schedule for such, which (according to Robert Kiyosaki, author of Rich Dad Poor Dad) is another form of income for a property investor. For me, a depreciation schedule on an investment property was like a decent bank account, claiming wear and tear on an income producing asset, which legally reduced my tax bill, and hence put way more money than the fee to produce it back into my pocket.

Spending money to make money (for example, buying shares/stocks that give you capital gains and/or regular dividends) is money well spent.

It does not feel great to spend money on things that you do not value; yet it is wise to perceive such spending as an investment, and (therefore) from that mindset, you begin to make wiser spending choices now and into the future. For example, a visit to the dentist to clean and check up on your teeth is an unwanted expense (maybe a necessary evil); yet that money spent on preventative treatment will save you more in the long run, in ultimately saving on more expensive dental treatments like root canal procedures for example.

Money needs to circulate, as (metaphysically speaking for a moment) it is a form of energy. Feel good about spending money.

By Garrhet Sampson on Unsplash

Earning money is great when it comes from legal sources, and on the back of doing work that you love. Earning money from toxic environments does not feel nice.

With the exception of having been on the dole for a couple of years in my late teens; passive income is the ultimate when it comes to earning money. The hard work was done once, and the fruits of your labour repeat themselves over and over again. Bingo.

By Dean Ward on Unsplash

2. How do you feel after spending a large amount of money?

The truth is that many people do not feel good. It depends on the item/s in question. In my mid-20's, I was terrified having to hand over a $40K cheque towards the downpayment on my first home, and then not long thereafter, doing the same for $25K on my first business. Having a mortgage all of a sudden felt Bigger than Ben-Hur; yet with time, experience, and maturity; spending large amounts of money is no longer a big deal to me. Money (again) needs to circulate.

Spending large amounts of money on a appreciating asset (as in investing - whether shares, property, crypto, cash or precious metals to name) feels more empowering and better than spending on high ticket items that depreciate in value.

Payment plans (like PayPal's Pay in 4) helps take the sting off larger purchases for many people, for allowing them to pay for larger items in four instalments.

By Andre Taissin on Unsplash

3. Do you save enough money? What savings goals do you have?

In terms of going on holidays and vacations, I generally pay for these trips on a credit card, and from there a vacuum (as in income coming in from multiple sources) pays off these trips before interest is charged.

At this time, it is a mix of saving to buy my own home to retire in outright, in a rural area, and just saving to buy me more of my future. The breakthrough around the latter came from recently reading The Psychology of Money by Morgan Housel. More money in the bank gives you more security and certainty over an uncertain world, and boy it is on shaky ground right now, as at the time of writing. None of us knew that a once in 100 year pandemic would rock our worlds back in 2020. My savings accounts buy me that protection, and more money in my savings accounts to me means more freedom, and hence more of the future that I do not need to work as much, and as hard for. I would love to be saving a little more each month, yet if I am able to increase my balances by a tiny amount (as in pocket money/loose change many months of a given calendar year); the benefits of bonus interest and the like continue to remain in tact.

By Alexander Grey on Unsplash

4. How do you prefer to pay for purchases? With cash, a credit card, or some other payment method? Why?

Cash is king. Give me cash any day of the week. You are not charged any extra merchant fees for paying cash. Some retailers (even cafes) are still offering discounts to cash payers. Cash is also great for the freedom of not having my transactions tracked by banks and Governments etc. Credit cards are good for convenience purposes, and if you do stay at hotels every now and then; a credit card is your friend when it comes to the holding deposit for incidentals. Earning rewards points on my credit card is great - despite points becoming less and less valuable; and sure, paying by card is more convenient than paying cash. I still prefer paying for items with cash, because it is a different form of energy. Cash encompasses your own energy, and the purchasing power in every transaction is ever so real, and hence payments are more conscious, rather than with more mindless tap and go payment systems. And the purchase is over and done with, without any debt to your name. With my everyday bank account, I do need to use the linked debit card five times in a calendar month, so to take advantage of ATM fee rebates, as well as meeting some key criteria for bonus interest on my linked savings account.

Given the choice over a credit card or a debit card; using a credit card is preferable for the rewards points, and for the ease in which unauthorised transactions are disputed with your bank or credit card provider.

By Erik Mclean on Unsplash

5. What was the first job or task you received money for? How much were you paid?

Due to developmental delays, and the circumstances of my childhood and losing my birth mother at an early age (and hence being put into foster care as a result); my first income source came as pocket money for cleaning the bathroom at home. $5 a week. That was hard work. No wonder why I do not like cleaning bathrooms today. Otherwise I was awarded a scholarship of $2K two years out from finishing school, to pay the rest of my school fees in full. Otherwise my very first job was at a Casino on New Years Eve 1999, to bring in a new century. I simply took empty glasses away from patrons, to bring them to the dishwasher, and on it went. It kept me fit. I got a free feed. I interacted with some lovely people. I also got to watch the fireworks, and I earned a cool $400 for only eight hours work.

By Giorgio Trovato on Unsplash

6. Can you recall (without looking) who and what are on your country's banknotes and coins? Why are they famous or important?

Pinky swear, I am writing this article while travelling, and I only have a $50 note on me, while the rest of my notes are back at home. All I know is that the late Queen Elizabeth II (as I live in a Commonwealth country - Australia) is on my country's polymer $5 note, and on the back of all of our coins. Some new gold coins ($1 and $2) have the new King Charles on the back. The old paper $5 note had Caroline Chisholm on them. I cannot recall her importance. The late Queen was the Head of State. That comes with a heavy responsibility, and she had class. Many people looked up to her (and they still do) as a mother figure and/or mentor.

By Jason Leung on Unsplash

7. Have you seen another country's money? Which countries have beautiful notes or coins?

Having also spent a bit of time in America, and in England; I have touched both the US Dollar and the British Pound, as well as a bit of Euro. It was nice to have received a customer tip that came in a British Pound note in my brief time in hospitality before the pandemic; and I was shell shocked to have been asked to produce ID at the currency exchange, as the final amount of this tip amounted to $110 AUD. That was beautiful. From my TikTok content moderation work, I have seen the CAD (Canadian dollar notes), and I have to say that Canada's currency kind of resembles Australia's currency, with each denomination in notes representing a different colour. That is also beautiful. This is why I love my country's (Australia's) currency so much. The new gold coins and notes have beautiful designs, and some have some extra colour in. I also love the touch of polymer. And I love rainbows.

By Mathieu Stern on Unsplash

8. How often do you think about money? Is money a stressful part of life?

No matter your income and level of wealth, everyone can have money worries from time to time; and those worries are amplified in woeful economic times, and in high inflationary and interest rate climates.

If payments get delayed, even if it is not the fault of your client and/or employer; it can cause panic and stress if major financial obligations like the rent is due around the same time. Hackers and cyber criminals can also add unnecessary stress to our finances.

As money is an important part of life, and it is a means of exchange; I think about it daily. Not to be obsessive, yet I have formed the habit of checking my finances on a daily basis, so to keep on top of my game here. That is pretty important in this stone age.

By Emil Kalibradov on Unsplash

Not to impress, however to impress upon you; I have been (and I still am) wealthy, and I also know what it is like to be broke; to the point where there was only $10 to my name back in 2007 after a business failure, and just as we were all getting credit crunched, just prior to the GFC. In all seriousness in that moment, I did not know how I was going to make it home from my new job one afternoon; yet lo and behold, manna from heaven delivered. To say that I was stressed in that moment would be a mammoth understatement. Having maxed out credit cards, and being mortgaged to the limit are also stressful money circumstances that no human being should ever endure; yet I am personally thankful to have also passed through the eye of the needle in those not so great financial circumstances.

By micheile henderson on Unsplash

9. What does 'money doesn't grow on trees ' mean? Do you agree?

Ah, that limiting belief generally handed down in childhood by our parents and schoolteachers to name. It is not at all empowering is it? That was the number one saying that yours truly was exposed to while growing up in public housing. This statement means that the person who is chiming it out is broke and poor, and therefore needs to reign in their spending, and be ultra frugal and economical in order to merely survive on the basics (food, clothing, and shelter.) It can also mean that the ATM is not a "magic" machine that dispenses cash at whim. The cash that comes out of an ATM was earned, either through active and/or passive income. Money is not the root of all evil. It is the love of money that is so.

My first personal development seminar called Life Design, of which I attended way back in 2006 changed that limiting belief for me in a profound way. The facilitator's of that seminar created what is known as a 'money tree' - and how it worked was that each participant had to bring in a $50 note, on top of the seminar fee of $6K, in which this $50 note went onto this tree. Just like that, many $50 notes covered that tree, and one lucky attendee won the tree at the end of the week-long program. From that, I switched that limiting belief that "Money does not grow on trees" to "I create my own money tree." The latter is much more empowering, and it feels so great to echo. We all deserve to be prosperous, and why not you. One of my mentors Christopher Howard said that "there is $21 trillion circulating in this planet for us all to enjoy."

By Markus Spiske on Unsplash

10. Of the things that you have brought in your life, which do you remember most happily?

I remember the quality items that I have purchased, of which add value to my life, from bedding to investments. Purchasing an expensive pillow that works is crucial, as sleep is a great investment in and of itself. Kitting out my bedding brand spanking new (from the bed and pillow to the sheets) back in June 2023 was an awesome money decision on my part. No more back pain. When you are well and happy, your income generally amplifies. Buying a property back in 2006 paid dividends, as well as the marketing, real estate commission, and legal fees to sell it. Anything that gives me greater peace of mind amplifies my happiness, and therefore paying for the right services (from Lawyers to Physiotherapists) helps one to live a life well lived, and with a lot less challenges.

Watch this space for Part 2, coming your way real soon, where questions 11-18 of the Money Conversations Questions are answered. Thank you so much.

Feel free to share your thoughts and perspectives in the comments. Thank you for your support.

economypersonal finance

About the Creator

Justine Crowley

Freelance Internet Moderator/UX Writer/UX Consulting Designer/Graphic Designer

http://smashwords.com/profile/view/JustineCrowley

linkedin.com/in/justinecrowley

Lives in Sydney, Australia. Loves life.

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Comments (1)

  • Test5 months ago

    Justine you're doing amazing work—keep it up, I loved it! Hope you're doing well!

Justine CrowleyWritten by Justine Crowley

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