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When God Gave Up Hope On America’s Future…

by Gaurav Sharma 5 years ago in humanity / politicians / president / satire / trump / controversies

#extremevetting #shitlikethat

Only If God Can Save America!

Note: This write-up does not intend to harm anyone’s religious sentiments. Reader’s discretion is advised.

Somewhere in the heavens, almost all of the prophets mankind has ever known were sitting together working on a new project concerning humans. The project was in its initial stage of conceptualization and dealt with implementation of the right to move, travel and settle unrestricted in any part of this so called free world that was created by their boss (AKA the God) himself. Even after discussing for hours and hours they could not figure out a perfect way of implementing that concept on stubborn human beings. Thus, they all decided to escalate that matter to the God. Since the issue was sensitive and complex enough to baffle everybody’s mind, a unanimous voting held so as to elect few prophets who would then bring the matter to God’s attention. Prophets had to write fellow prophet’s name on a leaflet and drop that paper into a box. After sorting and counting of the votes it was declared that Krishna, Nanak, Mahavir, Jesus, Mohammad, Zoroaster and Buddha will visit God’s office and have a word with him regarding the introduction of the right for humans to move, travel and/or settle freely in any part of the world.

Next day, five out of chosen seven prophets visited God’s office located in a supreme heaven. None of the prophets or angels or anyone else for that matter could live in the supreme heaven as property rates were high AF there. Also, Zoroaster and Jesus could not come. Zoroaster was not well and nobody knew where Jesus was. They tried calling his cell but it was not reachable. Anyways, all five entered God’s office and greeted him. Nobody could see him, though. In fact, no prophets had ever seen him. But they could hear the God and feel his presence.

After listening to the entire matter, God suggested the prophets go down to earth and see what the situation there was. They all agreed. All five along with Zoroaster prepared to go down to earth. Jesus was still missing.

Their first destination was the USA. They had been excited to visit there since ages. They were even more excited to visit the USA especially after Trump became president. Upon reaching the west coast of the US they had to undergo a border security check to officially enter the US. They saw people standing in a line and joined them. A few minutes later…

“Next!” Said the officer. It was Krishna’s turn.

“Passport please.” Border security officer asked Krishna to show his passport. Krishna handed over the same to the officer.

“Hmm…The Republic of India. I see.” Officer stared at Krishna and he had a decent smile on his face.

“What’s your purpose of travel to the US? Business or Pleasure?” asked the officer.

“Tourism.” Said, Krishna. The officer verified his visa and…

“Good to go! Welcome to the US. Enjoy your stay!” officer stamped the passport and Krishna entered the US. He stood nearby to wait for others.

“You!”, said the officer. It was Zoroaster’s turn.

“Your passport?” Zoroaster handed him a Canadian passport.

“Where are you originally from?” asked the officer with a firm tone.

“Canadian…Cana…I am from Canada!” Zoroaster was nervous.

“Why are you so nervous? You sure you don’t come from Iran?” reconfirmed the officer.

“No way, Never been there in my entire life!” Zoroaster replied.

“Okay, I’ll let you pass. Welcome to the US!” The officer let Zoroaster cross the border and enter the US.

Meanwhile Nanak, Mahavir and Buddha were being checked by another officer at a counter nearby. They all cleared their border security check.

“Yes Please!” officer pointed his finger towards Mohammad.

“Passport?” Mohammad gave his passport.

The officer looked at Mohammad. There was no sign of panic on his face. However, the officer looked disturbed.

“I can’t let you in the US. I have to cancel your visa.” Said the officer.

“I don’t understand.” Said Mohammad.

That officer crossed the visa and wrote “Cancelled” on it.

“Wha…? Hey, why would you do that?” Mohammad was now worried.

“Sir, your passport says ‘Kingdom of Saudi Arabia’, I can’t let you pass.” Insisted that officer. “We have our orders and we will not allow anybody from major Islamic countries to enter the US.”

“But your president signed an executive order temporarily banning citizens from seven countries i.e., Iraq, Iran, Syria, Yemen, Sudan, Libya and Somalia. I am from Saudi. You let Zoroaster pass, he is originally from Iran. Let me pass man!” Mohammad tried his best to explain everything to the officer but the officer was not ready to listen to anything. After all, the power rested in officer’s hand and Mohammad was denied entry into the US.

Mohammad was just asking for a valid reason for being denied entry in the US. Meanwhile, two other officers came and asked him to leave for where he came from. Mohammad insisted on staying. But then one officer came and pointed her finger towards another aisle where a man was arguing with another officer over the same concern.

“You see that man, He has been here the past two days. He calls himself Jesus! Ha Ha..Jesus the Christ!” She was laughing like anything. Mohammad and the rest of the prophets were shocked to see Jesus standing and requesting for his entry into the US. Now they all knew the reason why Jesus did not come in the meeting and why his cell phone was not reachable.

“We didn’t even allow him to enter the US because his passport says Israel. It should say Jerusalem though. I don’t know it's confusing. Basically, we wouldn’t let anybody from those seven countries, middle-east, and regions nearby into the US. Sorry man! You better leave now.” Suggested the officer.

Seeing Jesus begging for his rights and denied entry into the US, Mohammad could not utter a word and left for the heaven.

A few days later, God, upon knowing the situation in the US after Trump came into power called for an urgent meeting. No prophet could suggest anything effective that could stop Trump from making stupid decisions and then bragging about them on Twitter.

“In God, we trust!” Said all of the prophets so as to leave everything on God.

“Someone please save America for my sake!” Said the God and left swiftly.

This write-up was first published here on Medium.

humanitypoliticianspresidentsatiretrumpcontroversies

Gaurav Sharma

Author | Connect with me @ www.authorgauravsharma.com | See this for some highly geeky stuff: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gaurav_Sharma_(author)

#SpeakUpWriteAway #AuthorGauravSharma

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