The TV Reality Host vs The ex

Dear Donald,

I married a version of you many years ago.

Nearly 10 years, 2 children, a goldfish and far too many traumatic experiences later, I also fled from it. In a terrifying 2 hour window of time. In a crisis. $350 cash in my pocket. Into hiding, barely able to breathe.

That was 2014. The road to now has been beyond difficult. So much to say, and yet I will not here. My family and I are still healing. In continued counselling. Our beautiful children confused and traumatised by their father’s continued gaslighting; outrageous lies; his back to front victim mentality; perhaps all a consequence of a festering, unmanaged and untreatable narcissistic personality disorder?

Which is a lot like you. Your shared similar qualities, including your vacuous shell, your fragile ego. He is almost a cartoon cut out of you. Was blonde once also. Just a few years younger, though possibly without diapers?

Like my family, your country will need time to heal from you.

I do not live in the U.S. Thankfully, I live far, far away from you, and yet your tentacles of terror have reached all across the globe via YouTube and international media outlets. Your insidious, divisive nature has horrified citizens of our world, holding us in a suspended state of disbelief and shock, at the depth of depravity one man could wield with teeny-tiny hands and one enormous ego in a position of power, can do in just 4-5 short years. That man is you.

You cannot see it yet. But one day, you may? You cannot bear to face this, or face yourself, I know. The enormity of all that you are, and more importantly, all that you are not, would be an almost insurmountable amount of pain to bear. It is, of course therefore, easier to shamelessly move on, convincing yourself you were the victim of others wrongdoings, absolving yourself and thereby soothing that enormous false ego of yours?

Historians will continue to wax lyrical for years to come.... dissecting and digging into the myriad of decietful ways you have destoyed parts of, and nearly toppled your Country into autocratic rule. Of the brainwashing cult-like following you have created. Your name forever, indelibly linked to nepotism, fascism, autocratic rule; an abuser of their constituents, their title and offices; anyone and anything bulldozed, ridiculed or bullied into submission, in your quest for 'more,' to fill that emptiness within. Genghis Khan, Napoleon, Hussein, Hitler, Stalin, Putin.... you were certainly not the first, nor unfortunately will you be, the last of your kind. History repeats after all. And we, as humans forget... die off, leaving the generations that follow, to inevitably repeat the patterns and mistakes that the ones before us did.

I am not a psychologist. I have no medical training- other than seeking counselling expertise from others from experiencing the fallout that follows by being partnered to, and controlled and traumatised over and over, by someone just like you.

I do not believe you truly understand yourself, nor can see, the true horror and ramifications of what your behaviours, actions and inactions, your words and your beliefs have done to others.

And I admit, I used to feel sorry for you, rightly or wrongly, just as I did for my ex. A difficult childhood- as highlighted by your neice, however that may look like for a child, invariably makes for a difficult adulthood; especially if unhealed, unmanaged and then hidden from plain sight, behind a shield of power, prestige and wealth.

My sincere hope is simple; yet conversely, the most complicated and difficult aspiration to hope for.

That your Country will become unified in your absence.

That history will never be repeated again.

That lessons will be learnt from your mistakes.

Guardrails are reinforced.

Mental Health checks are a pre requisite for any future Presidential employment.

Mental health matters. Truth matters. Words matter. Kindness matters. HUMANITY matters.

Donald, you didn't really want to be President of the United States, I mean outside of the prestige of the title, did you? You just wanted to be talked about the world over. To be fetted and fawned over. To be 'relevant', no matter how ugly or offensive it was.

We all watched your ‘White House’ show in shock and horror, tuning in almost daily in the end, inside our homes or on smartphones all across the globe. You; the reality TV host with a dysfunctional personality, a man whose ego was so large, that rather than admit any fault, stayed true to your scorched earth mentality, and tried to take down his Country, after he lost a popularity contest in November 2019. And what a long, ugly sordid show it has been. Relegated hopefully, to the box of NEVER show the re-runs.

Now its time to change the channel, as the host has finally been fired, the series being cancelled and with January 20 thankfulky being the last ever episode of ‘President Trump’.

Bye Donald, your country needs to heal now. And so do you by the way. We just need to do it separately.

Sincerely,

Eli Johnston