My Old Lady Message for D.C.

It’s impossible to imagine a doddering, confused octogenarian screwing up — and screwing up really badly — on a public platform and still keeping her/his job. But at the Federal level of the government of The Greatest Country in The World, it happens frequently, and said dodderers are then routinely helped offstage and back to their cushy Washington DC offices.

When Nancy — watch your ass, China— Pelosi came back from her pricy little jaunt over to Taiwan (while her husband was being arraigned for a DUI arrest, btw) she had these pearls of wisdom to share:

“In our earliest days at our founding of our country, Benjamin Franklin, our presidency, said, freedom and democracy. Freedom and democracy, one thing, security here. If we don’t have- we can’t have either, if we don’t have both.”

That's verbatim, quote unquote and gods help us all.

The woman was up there making our former Glorious Leader, the failed real estate developer, sound eloquent and even coherent. Which is not to steal any thunder from our current Dear Leader, who has gifted the world with such head-scratchers as these:

"You know, there’s a uh, during World War II, uh, you know, where Roosevelt came up with a thing uh, that uh, you know, was totally different than a, than the, the, it’s called, he called it the, you know, the World War II, he had the war — the War Production Board."

Why are these clearly impaired old people in positions of power? Good question.

A close friend has worked for the past twenty years at a company that provides— deep trustworthy voice time — industry-leading audit, consulting, tax, and advisory services. Big dogs. And this company has a carved-in-granite policy: every single employee including top managers and even the CEO is required to retire at age 62. We’re not saying that 63-year-olds aren’t capable of handling complex professional responsibilities.

I am saying that most 80-mumble-mumble-year-olds aren’t. Sorry, Bernie, you may be the exception that proves my point but rail and roar all you will, you’re not being heard. Time to sic some of those young lions you mentor on this sick, damned country.

Sadly, no, I'm not talking about "The Squad" (what a crushing disappointment that girl group turned out to be).

You see this woman? Not me, the gorgeous one with white hair and glasses.

That’s Lee. She was a wise and loving woman who knew when she turned 80 that it was time to hand over the car keys. So she did. Just like that. No drama. No angst and agony. She simply stopped driving.

Why did it take Nancy that long to show a level of class and acceptance an 80-year-old mother of twelve did with no applause or champagne toasts? Joe? Come on, dude, here’s the deal. You are all too damned old to be in charge of anything more complex than boot scootin’ night at Little Miss Whiskey’s Golden Dollar. Face it, codgers, your day passed decades ago. Every time you open your wrinkly old mouths, nothing good escapes.

You’re still sure that oil reserves are worth sending our young people to die for. You think that internet thingy is pretty keen but you keep saying stupid things that the internet thingy makes sure everyone everywhere sees and hears.

You think all you need to do is mouth the words "Democracy is in danger" to get Black Americans to vote for you.

Just stop.

On my worst days, I feel old. But I’m twenty years younger than you and even I know better than to try to make things go my way to the detriment of everyone except those in my immediate circle. So let’s be real here. I’m old and I’m here to tell Joe and Frederica and Mitch and even — bless him — Bernie that it’s time to hang up the holsters and go home. Sure, we’re still stuck with Ted Cruz, Tom Cotton, and that jackrabbit, Josh Hawley. But you old f*$ks only enable the dumbest, meanest, greediest of the country to come to DC to get their chance to be old and rich and in power.

Just. Stop. Now.

Can’t you show the simple decency to simply go away?

© Remington Write 2023. All Rights Reserved.