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by Maybe Mae 2 years ago in humanity

Struggles of life, what you won't believe.

Home, a place that has never come easy for me, or has been easy to describe, even now. I never had a place that I felt was stable. When I was younger, I was more worried about what tomorrow would foresee than the worries that a normal kid would carry upon themselves. Money has always created stress in the family, and it was like we never had enough. When we were living in apartments, it was questionable some days if we would come home to an eviction note on the door, and a few times we did. I was one of the what you might say lucky ones in this case. We always had people to go to, relatives, and my mom's friends. Even when we weren’t considered homeless, the fear of becoming it was always there.

If you asked me a year ago, I would have said that I never have been homeless. It wasn’t till this year where I actually realized how often I was, when my mom talked to the school about it after a lot of drama happened. Now that this has happened, I realize in total I have been ‘homeless’ for about seven years of my life and on going, and one thing I can say about it is it isn’t fun.

Not knowing where you're going to be sleeping the next night, and that the people your with can kick you out in a moment's notice if you mess up is scary. This wasn’t a concern I had when I was younger, but it is now. I currently live with my grandparents. We don’t always agree on topics, but the thing I haven’t learned till recently is that it doesn’t matter if you agree or not. It matters what you need. Changing the flow of your work for someone else is not an everyday activity, but sometimes it is something you need to do. That’s a tough challenge to overcome, especially when it is the opposite of what you're used to.

Another thing for me about being homeless was space. Space to be alone, or space to do the things you want to, or the things you need to do comfortably. When I was living at my aunt's house somedays it felt like I could never get a minute alone. There were eight of us that lived in a small two bedroom house. My stuff was in a storage closet and my bed was a couch, while my parents slept outside in a tent. Not having my own space affected me a lot, and in a way still does. There are times where I want to read, or wish to do my homework at a certain time, and can’t do that due to what others are doing at the moment and their preferences. With projects, like posters, it becomes difficult to find the space to actually do them.

My experience with homelessness partly motivated my drive to pass school even if it was difficult to find the space to do the homework. It is the fact I want more for not only myself, but for any family I have. Not only this, but it drove me to try to be out of the house as much as possible participating in a bunch of activities, as many as I could, and now I go to college. Any scholarship would genuinely help me upon this journey.

I want to go into the field of Cinematography and minor in Abnormal Psychology. With these I hope that I can create something meaningful, and as does any artform, and anything I aim to do; to possibly help someone else in need.

Maybe Mae
Maybe Mae
Read next: Reason First: Can One Billion Dollars Really Help Build the Wall?
Maybe Mae

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